Surprise

How much opportunity do you give yourself to be ‘positively surprised’? In a world where we hyper-structure our time (try making plans with anyone in London for anything less than four weeks in advance) and research every outing in advance (I won’t go to a restaurant with less than 4.5 stars), it can be easy to curate a life that leaves almost nothing to chance. And I get it. There’s nothing I hate more than arriving in a new city and eating at a TERRIBLE restaurant because I didn’t research it, or spending hours wandering and seeing NOTHING of interest because I hadn’t mapped out my route in advance.

And yet, the more we exert control over our lives, the more we rule out the joy of being positively surprised by unexpected delights. This past week, I have been in Belgrade, Serbia for work. While most of our time has been planned – the people we’ll meet, the (excellent) client dinner we went to – my colleague and I found ourselves last night with a free evening and only a vague idea of how we wanted to spend it. So we set off on foot to find a good wine shop, a bookstore, and, hopefully, somewhere to eat for dinner. Although our route was somewhat planned – our clients had recommended both the wine shop and bookstore, we encountered so much in the 1.5km we walked: beautiful graffiti murals, architectural styles that reflected all the different cultural influences in this city, various people with whom we ended up speaking. Best of all, we stumbled upon a small restaurant down a side street called MAMA’s Bistro which – recommended by no one – turned out to be the most delightful little place where we ate hearty steaks washed down by a very good wine called – not kidding – Stiffler’s Mom.

It’s been so long since I have just wandered a new place without a route or timeline, and I’m still reveling in the wonderous nature of it all. If you have felt a little ‘bleh’ recently – like everything is either too hectic or too routine – perhaps see if you can take an afternoon to roam a new area without a plan. As John O’Donohue writes in this short piece, you may just be surprised by your own unfolding.

About Friday Pauses

We can all sense how a lack of presence in our daily life affects the quality of our relationships, our ability to form real connections – and yet we struggle to set aside distractions. In my Friday Pauses, I want to encourage us all to do just that – pause for a moment and feel what it’s like to be present by reading a poem.

If you’re new to Friday Pause, here’s what I suggest:

• Minimize or close other screens.
• Put your phone on silent.
• Close your eyes and take a full breath in…and out. Maybe count to four on the inhale and six on the exhale.
• Read the poem below – out loud, if you can. It will slow you down and help you feel the words more.
• Take another deep breath in…and out.
• Resume your day.