Surpass Your Mentor!

A good mentor tells the mentee, “I want you to be just like me.”

But a great mentor tells the mentee, “I want you to surpass me.”

I am blessed to have a mentor, Ricky, in my early days of public speaking. No, this wasn’t Toastmasters. He was an elder in our church and he wanted to train laymen to preach sermons.

So he gathered this motley crew (me being the craggiest of them all) and showed us the ropes. Every once in a while he would interject, “I want you guys to surpass me.”

Thus I caught the vision.

It took a lot of humility and personal security to say that. We all hear of supposed mentors who hold back, fearful that they would be dispensable if they reveal all they know. But for a mentor to aspire that his protégé would be greater than him, that is legacy mode.

My experience of being mentored and mentoring others has led me to three main stages of SYM, surpassing your mentor.

First is the Instruction stage. It is axiomatic that one cannot learn out of ignorance, ex-nihilo. What Ricky did was to teach us the key principles of effective public speaking. For example, he told us to seize our audience’s attention at the start of our talk.

He did not just tell us “this is what you should do” but rather “this is reason why we do what we do.” As the saying goes, there will always be a job for someone who knows the HOW, but the person who knows the WHY will always be his boss.

Second is the Imitation stage. A wise cowboy once said, “I can teach ya but I can’t ‘learn’ ya.” True learning comes in the doing. Ricky used the classic three-part strategy of:

·????????Modelling:?I do, you see.

·????????Transference:?I do, you do.

·????????Feedback:?You do, I see.

Whenever Ricky was on pulpit duty, he told us “You come to the service and watch me.”?That was a bold statement, to set himself up as the standard, warts and all. But we needed to see what a desired skill looked like.

A funny thing happened as we, the students, were practicing. We were actually mimicking Ricky! Outside observers noticed how we sounded and acted just like him, especially his signature phrases. One wag even coined a name for our group.?Ricky’s surname was Samson, so we were tagged the Samsonites (get it?).

Third is the Innovation stage. Copy-catting can only get you so far. It’s like water that can’t rise above its natural level.

That’s why the student has to grow, experiment, and break the mold. The challenge is to do something better than the mentor. For the more ambitious ones, do something that the mentor is not doing – and do it well.

I have noticed how Ricky replied on notes which he put on top of a lectern. He would deliver the sermon, gazing at the audience, but at times glancing at his notes. It wasn't bad, but I felt we were missing something there.

Time came when I transferred to a new church and its senior pastor tapped me as a guest preacher. When he preached, he would do the same thing: stand behind a lectern and occasionally look at his notes.

So I did something different.

When I walked to the stage, to the audience’s surprise, I took the lectern and put it on one side. Then, with only a clicker on my hand, I delivered the message.

The effect was palpable. There was no barrier between me and the audience. (I have a little secret here, but no, I’m not telling.)?That plus my content made the audience commented how I came across as clear and authentic.

In being innovative, you don’t have to do a quantum leap over your mentor’s skills. You can do kaizen-like tweaks to what you have absorbed from your mentor until you have become your own person. And with that, your own brand.

As I close, let me hurl two challenges.

For the mentor: dare to dream that your mentee will one day steal your limelight… and you rejoice when that happens.

For the mentee: dare to dream that you can emerge out of your mentor’s shadow… and in due time he will be your student.

#mentoring #surpassthementor #learning #mastery #excellence #learninganddevelopment