Supporting Socialisation
Lara Ritson
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What a beautifully simple yet deeply meaningful quote! Here at Peaceful Learning we believe that our role as caregivers is to hold the space to let our children feel safe and be held in our love.
As part of the socialisation process, it is absolutely normal that children test the boundaries with their peers, and also with the trusted adults in their lives, as they grow up. These behaviours allow children to make sense of what is, and what isn’t, acceptable as they begin to lay the foundations of social and emotional learning.
This process takes time and real patience from caregivers! But the very best gift we can give children to support this vital learning is to be a calm, grounded and self-regulated role model.
When our children react in challenging ways, it provides a moment of huge learning for them. And when we understand that these moments are learning moments, it becomes much easier for us to respond in ways that foster this. Such as holding the space for our children to express their emotions while calmly offering clear boundaries that help them to feel safe.
Imagine you are at home about to feed your toddler lunch when he spots a biscuit in the pantry on a shelf just out of his reach. He points to it and says “biscuit, biscuit.” When you calmly respond with a boundary, “It is lunchtime now, I have made you a sandwich”, the little boy starts to scream and cry. You kneel down to him and acknowledge his emotion (“You are sad because you want the biscuit”) while continuing to hold the boundary (“It is time for lunch now”). By staying close by until the emotion has passed and then reconnecting with a hug we are able to send the powerful message to our children that “I love you, I am always here for you and I will keep you safe.”
Through these responses we are truly holding the space for our children to engage in this vital social and emotional learning. As caregivers of young children this can be a challenging job but, if this is the key to raising socially and emotionally healthy adults, then we believe it is a wonderful task to embrace!
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