Supporting Perfectionists at Work: Helping Them Thrive When Things Go Wrong

Today, I want to talk about a topic that’s close to many of us – perfectionism, especially how perfectionists struggle when things don’t go well at work, and how leaders can support them. Perfectionists often have high standards and a strong desire to do their best, but this can also make them particularly vulnerable when things go awry. Let's explore why perfectionists struggle and how leaders can lend a hand to help them bounce back and thrive.

Understanding Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards. While having high standards can be beneficial, perfectionism can become a double-edged sword. Perfectionists often engage in critical self-evaluation and are overly concerned with others’ evaluations. According to Curran and Hill (2019), perfectionism has been rising significantly among young people, leading to increased stress and mental health issues.

Why Perfectionists Struggle When Things Go Wrong

Perfectionists tend to struggle more than others when things don't go well at work for several reasons:

1. Fear of Failure

Perfectionists often have an intense fear of failure. They equate their self-worth with their ability to achieve perfect results. When things don’t go as planned, it can feel like a personal failure, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.

2. High Self-Criticism

Perfectionists are their own worst critics. They focus on their mistakes and shortcomings rather than their achievements. This constant self-criticism can be debilitating, making it hard to recover from setbacks.

3. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionists often see situations in black-and-white terms. They believe that if something isn’t perfect, it’s a complete failure. This all-or-nothing thinking can prevent them from recognizing the value of their efforts and learning from their mistakes.

4. Overwhelm and Burnout

The drive for perfection can lead to overwork and burnout. Perfectionists may spend excessive amounts of time on tasks, striving to get everything just right. When things go wrong, the emotional and physical toll can be overwhelming.

How Leaders Can Support Perfectionists

Leaders play a crucial role in supporting perfectionists, helping them navigate challenges and foster a healthier work environment. Here are some strategies leaders can use to support their perfectionist team members:

1. Encourage a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset, as described by Carol Dweck (2006), is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. Encouraging a growth mindset can help perfectionists view mistakes as opportunities for learning rather than as failures.

• Praise Effort, Not Just Results: Acknowledge the hard work and effort that perfectionists put into their tasks, regardless of the outcome. This helps them see value in the process, not just the final product.
• Frame Mistakes as Learning Opportunities: When things go wrong, discuss what can be learned from the experience. Emphasize that mistakes are a natural part of growth and improvement.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Help perfectionists set realistic goals and expectations. Encourage them to aim for excellence rather than perfection, and to recognize that it’s okay to have flaws and make mistakes.

• Break Down Tasks: Assist in breaking down large projects into smaller, manageable tasks. This can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and make it easier to achieve progress.
• Set Clear Priorities: Help perfectionists prioritize their tasks. Focus on what’s most important and encourage them to let go of less critical details.

3. Provide Constructive Feedback

Feedback is crucial for growth, but it needs to be delivered in a way that perfectionists can accept and learn from.

• Balance Positive and Constructive Feedback: Always start with positive feedback, highlighting what was done well. Follow with constructive feedback, focusing on specific areas for improvement without being overly critical.
• Be Specific and Objective: Provide clear, specific examples of what needs improvement. Avoid vague statements that can be interpreted as a personal critique.

4. Foster a Supportive Environment

Create a work environment where team members feel safe to express their concerns, ask for help, and admit their mistakes without fear of judgment.

• Encourage Open Communication: Promote open and honest communication. Let your team know that it’s okay to share their struggles and seek support when needed.
• Model Vulnerability: As a leader, share your own experiences with mistakes and what you’ve learned from them. This can help normalize the idea that everyone, including leaders, makes mistakes.

5. Promote Work-Life Balance

Perfectionists often struggle with work-life balance due to their intense focus on work. Encourage them to take breaks and maintain a healthy balance.

• Set Boundaries: Encourage perfectionists to set boundaries between work and personal time. Remind them that taking time off is essential for long-term productivity and well-being.
• Promote Self-Care: Encourage activities that promote relaxation and stress relief, such as exercise, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.

6. Offer Professional Development

Provide opportunities for perfectionists to develop new skills and grow professionally. This can help them build confidence and resilience.

• Training and Workshops: Offer training sessions and workshops focused on stress management, resilience, and emotional intelligence.
• Mentorship and Coaching: Pair perfectionists with mentors or coaches who can provide guidance, support, and encouragement.

Final Thoughts

Perfectionists bring valuable qualities to the workplace, such as high standards and a strong work ethic. However, these same traits can also make them vulnerable to stress and burnout when things don’t go as planned. Leaders play a vital role in supporting perfectionists by fostering a growth mindset, setting realistic expectations, providing constructive feedback, and creating a supportive work environment.

By understanding the challenges perfectionists face and implementing strategies to support them, leaders can help these individuals thrive, even when things go wrong. Encouraging a culture of learning, resilience, and open communication can transform setbacks into opportunities for growth, benefiting not just the perfectionists but the entire team.

Remember, perfection is an unattainable goal, but excellence and continuous improvement are always within reach. Let’s support our perfectionist colleagues in their journey toward achieving their best, while also embracing the inevitable imperfections that come with growth and progress.

References

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410-429. doi:10.1037/bul0000138

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.