Supporting the parents on your team

The post below is lifted entirely from an email I received from the team at monday.com earlier this week. It's part of their weekly newsletter but really resonated with me. Since becoming a father, I've mainly been a contractor and worked with agencies and brands who understand that my working hours have flexed due to childcare responsibilities. This piece really encapsulates how modern thinking workplaces think. I think any parents in my network will be interested in this article.

Mark

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Parents make up roughly 40% of the workforce and have a challenging balancing act: they must both care for their children and effectively keep up with the demands of their jobs. Between the mental load of managing a household, helping their kids with schoolwork, staying connected to their partners, and strongly delivering in their careers, little time remains to focus on their own health and well-being. In fact, The State of Working Parents Study by Cleo found that working parents lose millions of hours each week to stress, anxiety, and caregiving, leading many to walk away from their jobs.

This is hugely problematic because parents can make some of the greatest leaders. Experts suggest that the skills developed as a parent, such as empathy, multitasking, flexibility, problem-solving understanding, time management, communication, and resiliency, are all critical in the workplace. As Shelley Zails summarizes in a Forbes article, “The best leaders today are caregivers, and yet we’re losing our best leaders to caregiving.”

So, as a manager, how can you effectively support the parents on your team?

Prioritize quality over quantity

Working parents must divide their attention between work and home, which often leads to the fear that they’ll be seen as less committed to their jobs and thereby less valuable team members. That’s why it’s so important to avoid a culture of presenteeism, where more hours at work are rewarded as a sign of greater contribution and productivity. Make it clear that working long hours isn’t what it takes to be successful on your team, and that you care most about the quality of the work your employees deliver.

Be flexible and trusting

One of the greatest ways to support the parents on your team is to be flexible. Whether they need to clock in earlier or block off some time in the late afternoon to pick their kids up from school, try to be accommodating and understanding. Additionally, remember that kids can be unpredictable at times, which may lead to a sudden trip home or an urgent doctor visit. Regardless, trust that your team members will find the time to get their work done, even if at times it means working unusual hours.

?Respect boundaries

While it’s certainly thoughtful to ask about your employees’ kids, sometimes they won’t want to have those conversations with you. Whether it’s been a tough week at home or their child is going through something difficult, try and gauge the vibe when you check in on that topic, and if you get any sense that they’re not interested in talking about it, respect their boundaries and don’t push it.

Acknowledge the challenges

Recognize that it can be hard for parents to balance everything. Many working parents struggle with guilt – both that they can’t invest the same hours into their work that their coworkers who are not parents can, and that they’re not giving their kids the attention they want and need due to a team meeting or important email exchange. So, give your employees the space to be open about the challenges they face and validate their feelings when relevant. Make it clear that perfection is not the expectation in either domain and that you don’t believe they should feel guilty for making their families and well-being a priority.

Encourage visibility

Set the standard that prioritizing familial needs is not only accepted but actually expected. Encourage the parents on your team to feel comfortable blocking off time on their calendars for child-caring duties – whether that’s a school pickup, a doctor’s appointment, or anything else that requires them to disconnect for a bit?– to really send the message that it’s okay. What’s important is that there’s transparency between you and your team members and that they are upfront about their responsibilities so that you can plan and adjust when needed.

Convey your support

With over 60% of employees suffering from stress related to juggling work and family responsibilities, per Beneden Health, it’s so important to show your commitment to the well-being of your employees and their families. Encourage your team members to plan time off with their loved ones and disconnect at reasonable hours so they can really be present in their home lives. Additionally, when possible, try to organize a team event here and there to which family members are also invited.

On a similar note, if the parents on your team choose to share the name of their kid(s) with you, do your best to remember them. Occasionally asking about their kids by name really goes a long way in showing that you care.

Celebrate achievements

For working parents, life is more expensive, so they want those raises and promotions, but they’re also already stretched pretty thin, which can make it harder to take on more responsibility at work. So, try and take this into account when building growth paths on your team, and make sure to actively celebrate professional and personal employee achievements. Whether it’s the completion of a major project or an employee’s child’s first birthday, make sure to acknowledge those milestones to help your employees feel seen and appreciated.