Support the Mental Health of your Workplace and Family

I’m a dad; with a pre-teen daughter who just started secondary school and all the adjustment that comes with that transition, a 10-year-old rugby mad daughter and an 8-year-old soccer-mad boy all of whom I love dearly. Like most parents I worry about them fairly regularly; their safety, their education, but as they grow older mostly I worry about their wellbeing and mental health. Working in the area of mental health for over 15 years now I have seen my fair share of problems. Mental health is a great equaliser, it touches us all in our homes, our workplaces and our communities.

I know what it’s like to experience mental health problems at a personal level too. Not a diagnosis; that’s not what I mean. I believe we all have mental health and will all at some point experience a problem with that mental health. 1 in 5 young people will experience a diagnosable mental health problem in any given year. But the other 4 in 5 are likely to have problems that don’t get diagnosed. That’s because experiencing a problem with our thoughts and feelings is a normal part of the human experience. Mental health problems don’t only exist with a diagnosis, they start much earlier. But also it’s because either we don’t realise it’s our mental health causing a problem, the help isn’t available or we are too frightened and stigmatised to tell anyone about our problems.

That’s what happened to me. I hid my problems. Told no one. Even those closest to me. I told no one I was bullied when I was at school. I told no one about the physical and psychological intimidation I received at the hands of just one other boy. I told no one I was scared. And even when the bullying stopped; I told no one I still carried every fear and insecurity that had gone with that time. 

I worry about these things happening to my own kids because I know better than some that it can be a standard experience for so many young people to experience problems with their thoughts and feelings. 

I became an expert had masking how I was feeling. I became your stereotypical ‘angry’ teen speaking to as few people as possible when I left the house, went to school or even got a bus. I hid my head behind my old ‘parka’ army surplus jacket and hood. I hid my fear behind the music in my earphones and prayed that no one would talk to me. In my mind I wasn’t safe and my own thoughts got in my way.

It was anxiety; gut twisting, nausea provoking, dizzying anxiety.  But I didn’t know that, I didn’t have that language and I certainly didn’t realise it was ok to feel like this and more importantly I didn’t realise it was ok to ask for help.

I had a wonderful family, caring and supportive parents who would have done anything for me if they had known. I protected those I loved from it by hiding my feelings and keeping a mask on. 

I got through it over time though, adjusted and learned how to cope. Over a few years my resilience kicked in, exercise, sport and Scouting became the things that helped me grow my confidence and reduce my fears. But now I also know through experience and education that I didn’t need to suffer inside for so long. I didn’t need to go to the dark places I went to in my thoughts. I didn’t need to feel alone.

It’s a funny thing that the very things that would have made me better; talking, support, community, caring and understanding were the very things that seemed so far away and so far out of reach.

What if someone knew what to look for, what if others had felt confident to offer help. We spend our mental health campaigns encouraging others to talk. It’s good to talk we say. Just talk we say. But who educates the listeners. 

Though coincidence and not by design I ended up working in mental health but I have managed to reflect on my mental health experiences and I expect they are familiar to others and I am by no means alone.

I have worked on wellness/wellbeing campaigns and national anti-stigma campaigns such as The National Partnership for Stigma Reduction ‘See Change’; but everywhere I go people would say they had ‘this friend, or this colleague or this husband or wife or child and they have this problem, what do I say to them’. I feel I am part of a mental health initiative that is Internationally evidence based and can make a real difference to Irish communities. Maybe another young person, my own kids even, will start to feel they can open up and talk about mental health and as listeners we can feel able to respond with confidence.

Internationally, Youth Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) is being brought to schools, colleges, communities and youth organisations to support the resilience, stigma and wellness work they are doing. However, this training isn’t as yet available in Ireland.

The Youth MHFA training trains adults supporting young people such as teachers, sports coaches or parents to be able to recognise and respond to a broad spectrum of potential mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, psychosis and eating disorders, and the associated crises.  The Teen Programme offers peer-to-peer training for teenagers to equip them with the necessary skills and knowledge to support a friend with mental health issues.

Both of these programmes have been licensed to MHFA Ireland and once applied to an Irish context have the potential to support the young people of Ireland. The British Prime Minister Teresa May recently announced funding for MHFA training for all schools in England. This training has already commenced and similar vision and political will is required for Ireland. With the right government partnership, support and resources we can make MHFA Youth and Teen available nationally.

As a parent, I still wonder am I missing anything or am I saying the right thing. Will I notice when my children have problems. Will I be able to offer support or encourage appropriate professional help if it’s necessary? This for me is where mental health first aid can make a difference. Real ‘early intervention’ should begin with our youth. We don’t just suddenly become unwell in our mental health. But we may just suddenly notice. Maybe we could learn to notice earlier and not wait for a crisis. This is why we are bringing Mental Health First Aid Youth and Teen training to Ireland.

Let’s arm our parents, teachers, sports coaches and communities with knowledge and confidence to be better supporters of mental health.  Let’s even be progressive enough to give our young people a language to understand mental health, wellbeing and how to help their friends reach out to that ‘one good adult’ in their lives. 

I have had the pleasure of working with some dynamic and inspiring companies over the last while. Companies leading the way in making a real difference in the lives of their employees. Making better places to work. Making caring supportive environments where mental health can be talked about in an ordinary way. Where work can be the focus of course but where we don't loose the compassion or the humanity thats innate in us all.

We have to remember our workplaces are also our communities. Anywhere we gather is a community. Not just our town halls, not just our schools or sports clubs. Community is where we gather together, where we have the potential to support and help. Labels don't help when it comes to mental health, learning does.

Find out more about how you can help your workplaces or families at www.mhfaireland.ie or on Facebook and Twitter @MHFAIreland