The Superpower called Motherhood in the Times of Covid-19

I am a returning mother, joining the workforce, after a gap of six months. While I join back, I can feel a sea change in my life on both fronts like never before – personal and professional. Parenthood is a difficult task in itself, becoming a first timer even more so and becoming a first-time parent in the times of corona is unimaginable.

I remember talking to my returning colleagues some years ago. (Read my previous article here - Women In Law) They found coming back to work after maternity leave challenging ---- getting back to a professional mindset after many months away, managing a support system so that their baby is taken care of and juggling responsibilities at the office and home. Having to find your footing back in your professional job while doing it under the current circumstances is an incomprehensible task and a nightmare for most of the mothers. Quarantine or no quarantine, it’s multitasking for working moms, but this phase has made us multitasking ninjas of doing the impossible. 

Many parents, including the front-line workers, currently have no childcare options. Parents are juggling jobs and child care with an intensity that has never existed before. We are juggling between managing kid’s snacks, snuggles, and screen time while working - and dealing with the waves of guilt that come with not doing it well. Tasks that had been outsourced to schools, nannies/ daycare are now falling squarely on parents and disproportionately on mothers. Ironically, we are spending more time than ever with our kids but not how we had wanted it.

Having an infant during this pandemic has certainly brought more joy in my life but there were similar amounts of existential fear, sleeplessness too.

I think as a mother, I can speak on behalf of every mother - 'None of us had planned to do it the way it is happening right now.'

 I can in no way reduce the toil that any other working mom will have to do but I have attempted here to share some suggestions and tips that might help returning moms to get back to work amidst this crisis.

1.      Look at the silver lining:

Perhaps you have resumed virtually. Now you get to spend more time with your infant instead of commuting. You don’t have to drop your kid to daycare. You can breastfeed instead of pumping. Look at the brighter side. Keep looking at it every day.

2.      Re-asses your daily chores: 

You need to sit down with the family members and re-negotiate the daily to-do list. You can divide your caregiving responsibilities with your partner and work out a flexible plan. You can divide the entire day into two halves. Take up the caregiving responsibilities and office work according to you and your partner’s preferred slots.

3.      Set up a call with your coworkers/team members:

Learn about all the work being done in your absence. Understand with your coworkers how things were done, the progress and the way forward. Video call is always better.

4.      Brush up your skills:

Take up small assignments and brush up your skills. It will boost your confidence. The key is to slowly build on those skills and then take on more work. Go slow and transparently ask for support from team members.

5.      Set up a coffee date with a new parent who has returned to work:

This is particularly helpful to understand how the new parent has adjusted to his/her routine. You could take notes on how to smoothly transition to work and manage at both ends.

6.      Eat that frog for breakfast:

Try to accomplish the most important/ critical thing early in the morning. It will save you worrying about it the whole day.

7.      Appreciate the skills you have learned/ honed after becoming a parent:

Working moms are focused. They can delegate, adapt, and prioritize effectively. These are highly valuable traits in most careers. Be proud.

8.      Accept help:

Try not to return to work alone. Involve your partner, family members, or else it will burn you out. Take help from whatever source it is coming through.

9.      Forgive yourself for things not happening the way they were planned:

Remember you are currently sheltering in place waiting for this crisis to get over. Do not demand too much from yourself.

10.  Remember yourself:

With different demands in all directions, it’s important to keep yourself healthy and centered. Don’t forget to take care of yourself in balancing everything else. Don’t be over critical of yourself. Your emotional well-being is equally or more important than your career progression.

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I wouldn’t have imagined finding myself at the end of both sides of the spectrum but here I am, juggling work and a hyper-curious baby, thanks to a supportive family and an equally supportive organization. It DOES take a village to raise a child.

I hope this article helps someone looking for ways to balance both fronts. I would love to connect with other parents who are bravely holding the fort, by going beyond their forte. Tag the working moms - they are the real superheroes. Do share if there is anything you could suggest or add to the above points. There might be new parents looking for advice/suggestions.