The Superhero complex – why saying no to others is saying yes to yourself

April saw the finale of the Marvel superhero comic book series, Avengers: Endgame, sweep the world. Reflecting back on superheroes, I read a worrying story of physician suicide from the brother of the doctor in question. It was a story of a ‘superhero’ doctor – a doctor who we all aspire to be: hardworking, driven, and respected by patients and colleagues alike. Some might even say courageous to take on so much. Where do such driven individuals come from? It starts in our selection systems from before medical school that select those perfectionists who can delay gratification with rewards of graduation and specialist training and put patients first. After all we all want a doctor who goes above and beyond for us all. Sadly such altruistic perfectionism means that doctors are pulled in opposite directions neglecting the power source of their energy: themselves. How do we put ourselves first before helping others?

I want you to imagine something terrible – that you or someone you know that you dearly love or care about is acutely unwell. In a flash you would drop your work because your health or the health of another person suddenly becomes a priority. Similarly we must not wait until our mental or physical health deteriorates and not feel guilty for prioritising ourselves. We must be proactive with ourselves. Saying no to others is saying yes to yourself. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t offer to help your colleagues out or stay behind to look after that sick patient or go above and beyond. Sometimes duty calls. However, it is important to be aware that extra things you do stretch yourself. We have finite time and resources. Think of your resources as a plate of food. Everything that you look after is on that plate: you, your work, teaching, career, your partner or family (if you are fortunate have one), and recreation.

If your plate is already full, adding extra to the plate means something might fall off...that something on the plate might be you and your health.

We all like to think that we are unique and all valued in the healthcare that we provide, i.e. we are irreplaceable. Sadly, this is simply not the case. With colleagues who have too much on their plate, they often say, “Who will do that role when I’m gone? Who will look after them if I was not there?” Often, in positions and jobs we have applied for were made available because someone had left. The NHS is struggling and needs more funding than promised in the Long Term Plan. But rest assured that if you are unable to fulfil a clinical role, the NHS will struggle on. Someone else will be found and on the whole, patients will be all right. Like the replacement of actors in the recurring superhero characters such as Spiderman and Batman, someone will gladly wear our costumes and take up the mantle. The world will be safe again.

Originally posted on The Doctors' Association UK Facebook page on Tuesday 23rd July 2019