The superficial action that’s keeping DEI work stuck

Welcome to Simply Diversity. This bimonthly letter breaks down key diversity concepts and explains how you can apply them... simply. There are plenty of terms heard ‘round the Internet as we prioritize diversity, inclusion and belonging in everything we do. This newsletter explains what these concepts are, why they’re important, and how to practice them.?

I hear this refrain regularly from clients and keynote audiences: “we need to have a serious conversation about race / inclusion / gender / transphobia / ableism.”?

But when I hear it I often wonder — do you REALLY mean that? Are you READY for that conversation?

Because a problem I’m seeing is that too many conversations about diversity, equity and inclusion are stuck at surface-level.?

Break it down:?

We know that the exchange of human experiences via stories is what inspires lasting change for people on a personal level. My coauthor Selena Rezvani and I just wrote an article for Harvard Business Review on the topic!

But I don’t see much evidence that people are ready to hear stories or have frank conversations about tough topics. Instead, I see an insidious tendency that keeps our conversations superficial: minimization.?

Minimization is at play when we go along to get along, rather than risk speaking the truth and ruffling some feathers.?

It’s at play in the well-meaning but flawed perspective that “everyone is equal, treat everyone the same,” instead of recognizing and valuing differences.?

It happens when we gaslight or second-guess an experience that differs from our own.

We constantly downplay the deep wounds and scars we bear as citizens of our societies and cultures. It keeps our conversations superficial and our progress stilted.?

Why?

Honestly? Because leaning into the awfulness of some situations is so emotionally and mentally distressing that it makes you want to curl up into a ball and hide in bed.

Human beings have tender hearts. And it hurts our hearts to reckon with the rampant bias, prejudice, and misunderstanding in our culture.?

To stay committed to having tough and profound conversations despite how they might hurt, we need to be clear on our Why of DEI .

Do Something Different:

Mind-changing conversations about race / inclusion / gender / transphobia / ableism can be hard. They are not for the faint of heart, the defensive, or the conflict-avoidant.

But you don’t have to be a trained DEI professional, or perfect in your communication, or to earn a PhD first. You simply have to be human, and connected with your Why .

You simply have to come equipped with your human-ness: curiosity, empathy, and the ability to listen with openness and trust.

What can you do next??

1. Step into a growth mindset. Understanding there is growth to be had within your own understanding and your relationships. Nothing is fixed and this will always be true.
2. Educate yourself! That’s how you get closest to walking in someone else’s shoes. You must get outside that box that you’re in. Watch movies, read books and articles, and listen to podcasts created by people with different lived experiences from yours.?
3. Invest in the Why of DEI . You understand that DEI is important — but have you connected deeply to why it matters to you or your organization? The Why of DEI course helps you tune in to your unique why, and gives you a solid foundation for having meaningful and change-making conversations that strengthen your relationship, interpersonal, and leadership skills.
4. Connect with people who are different from you. Education is a terrific first step, but nothing replaces actually talking to people! This is where many people get nervous. We spend a lot of time belaboring how to connect with new people, especially around loaded topics like gender and ableism. Be authentic about what it is you’re trying to say. Even if you do it wrong, people can FEEL that you’re doing your best when you authentically want to learn.
5. Put aside your ego. I’ve written about how ego blocks inclusion here and here .?

If you’re looking for a place to begin, this is it. You are on a journey. And while you may be seeking a definitive course of action that includes instructions like do ‘x’ and then ‘y’ will happen, this is as close as you can get.?

I want you to have conversations — real ones — about diversity, equity, and inclusion. With family members, coworkers, and friends. What would happen if you did?

Let me know in the comments about a deep conversation you’ve had about DEI. Who was it with? Did it surprise you? I’ve shared one from my life in the comments, and I’d love to hear yours.?

And remember, my course Why of DEI is available for individuals and teams here .

About Stacey Gordon and Rework Work:

Stacey Gordon is Executive Advisor and Diversity Strategist of Rework Work where she and her team coach and counsel executive leaders on DEI strategies for business, while offering a no-nonsense approach to unconscious bias education for the broader employee population. Stacey’s unconscious bias course was the most popular course on LinkedIn Learning platform in 2021 and it has also been translated into multiple languages. Stacey is also the founder and host of the Rework Work Community , a free diversity, equity, and inclusion learning and practice space for professionals. You can find Stacey’s book, UNBIAS: Addressing Unconscious Bias at Work , at Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, and wherever books are sold.