This Week: Stop Reacting. Start Responding.

Truth: You are in the driver’s seat of your life.

We don’t always feel like that though.  The culprit? We choose to react to situations or people versus respond. And reacting all day long is exhausting.

Shift your focus this week: stop reacting and start responding –  thoughtfully, purposefully, and consciously.

Here are my go-to strategies for your week ahead:

Get clear on how you work. The reason we might find ourselves reacting to others versus responding thoughtfully is very simple: our work style, which I call your Productivity Style, might clash with the work style of another.  That difference in Productivity Style leads to misunderstanding, tension, and overreaction – all of which, more often than not, impedes you from effectively completing your best work.

Your effectiveness is directly connected to your ability to work in a way that honors you.

Take control of your work routines.  Decide what work to complete by considering three variables – your time, the resources or tools available, and your energy level.

Set appointments with colleagues instead of accommodating drive-bys or stop-ins. When a colleague comes by and asks whether you have a minute to discuss a project, you might respond, “Right now, I don’t have time, but we can talk tomorrow at 10:00 a.m., when I’ll be able to be fully present and able to focus on you and the project.”

Make technology a tool that serves you, not a dictator to which you bow. Turn off the rings, pings, and buzzes on all of your devices.

Then take control of your inbox. Read your emails once, convert them into tasks, forward them to the appropriate colleagues, or simply delete them.  And use all of the email technology tools available to make your inbox work for you. Leverage every bell, whistle, and tool provided to you to simplify and streamline your email communication.

Next, stop pushing papers. Build a retrieval system that lets you access any piece of information you want in seconds.

Revolutionize your approach to meetings.  If attending a particular meeting is not the highest and best use of your time, say No.  Remember, every time you say Yes to one thing, you are saying No to something else.

Find your P.O.W.E.R. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – The BEST way to shift from react to respond is to strengthen your own boundaries. Start saying NO to the voices inside your head, and maybe externally as well, and doing it in a new way – a way that I like to call the “P.O.W.E.R. No.” It’s based on the anagram POWER—Priorities, Opportunities, Who, Expectations, and Real.  Here’s how it works:

• Priorities: When that voice in your head tells you that should complete this task, lead another project, attend another meeting, or make cupcakes from scratch evaluate the priority of that message. How does this should align to your priorities, the organization’s strategic priorities and/or your families’ priorities?

• Opportunities: Explore the opportunities. What opportunities does this should create for you?  Is there something that does actually need additional attention in your life? This should could be shining a light on something that you need to address.

• Who: Who or what triggered this should? Was it an old script from childhood? Was it an ad in a magazine? Was it your colleague?

• Expectations: Whose expectations are these really? Your manager? Your mother? Your spouse? Your child? Society’s?

• Real: Get real. What is this should really about? Are there real priorities that are driving this should? Or are you taking on societal expectations that are not in alignment with your priorities?

Learn to pay attention to the voices inside you—the ones that cry out in distress when you work against your natural style, and sigh in satisfaction when you find and follow the structure and pacing that fit your preferences. 

Have courage and lean into what you know really works for you. You’ll travel so much further in work and in life.

Want to respond well in a way that's right for you and your productivity?  Take the personal Productivity Style assessment here.

Carson Tate is the founder and principal of Working Simply, a management consultancy. Our mission is to bring productivity with passion back to the workplace. We do this by providing tailored solutions that help people to work smarter, not harder.

Her new book, Work Simply, was published via Penguin Portfolio in January.