That Summertime state of mind — or — how to attract serendipity to your life [Repost from 2014]

[I published this article as is in 2014, my #2 article ever published on Medium. As a gentle reminder, I'm re-sharing for myself and if anyone can relate.

Fun fact: this was meant to be my first article on Community Building. And it's the first time I publicly used "Community Hacking" as a term (I'd publish Hacking Communities as a book in 2020, after 6 years of ideating it as an article.

Now, copying + pasting it].

Link to Original Post on Medium, November 8th, 2014

February 2014 I arrived in Malaysia, my first Asian destination ever.

Behind me: a lovely life. I lived in a beautiful duplex with a terrace to the beautiful neighborhood of Belgrano, Buenos Aires. It was summer, I had a 5-years relationship with an awesome guy (also a startup entrepreneur) and a huge potential in the latin american scene, thanks to great connections.

But something dragged me to leave the life I loved. Still now, when I’m grateful for all that has been, I feel a happy nostalgia and gratefulness for Buenos Aires, a place I gladly miss and love.

I love Buenos Aires, as well as Santiago de Chile, Mauritius, Belo Horizonte… Every place I left.

So. Why did I ever move? At first, I did’t know. By the time I found an excuse that was rational enough: a great career opportunity in Malaysia. Why Malaysia? The company I wanted to work for was here.

I came for a job in which I planned to stay for a year or two, then maybe head back and work from their office in Buenos Aires. But 2 months after my arrival, I decided to quit this job. Now, 9 months later, I’m living in KL and loving this Country as if it was my own. Now I want to stay in Malaysia for a while, meaning a seriously long time.

A fortunate stroke of serendipity made me stay for a different reason than the one why I came.

I didn’t leave my life in Buenos Aires or my awesome job in Malaysia to jump in a shinier opportunity — these were shiny.

Summertime, a song by George Gerswhin, translates the most of it. For me, the song is about the state of mind of abundance and curiosity.

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy Fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high Oh, your daddy’s rich and your ma is good-lookin’ So hush little baby, Don’t you cry

There can be different interpretations to the song, but what I mean here is:

I’m grateful for the beautiful life in Buenos Aires: a city, a house, a man and a family that I loved. Still — there is a strong feeling that calls you to move out. I had to. But as I jumped in the perfect office in KL with amazing, smart people and a roofless position, that force dragged me to move again.

I didn’t leave any of these because life was bad — “the livin’ is easy”. I quit following the feeling that I was meant for something else. Going back to those moments: to a certain extent, I felt that the good things I had were holding me back, as I got protective about it.

I had to trust my guts telling me there was more to come, but I gotta be brave to let go. The feeling of “One of these mornings you’re gonna rise up singing | And you’ll spread your wings and you’ll take to the sky”.

Safe only by the certainty that “Successful or not, a sincere approach is the only way” — Chinese proverb from i-Ching.

Many times what keeps you stuck are the good things. If you get overly attached to it.

This idea reminds me of the first 3 minutes of this talk by Brene Brown, “The Price of Invulnerability”. She tells stories of people who, in moments of joy, have fatalistic responses. “Something bad is gonna happen”. It’s the fear of losing something, rather than being open for serendipity to occur.

We become control-freaks of what we can’t control: life, people and relationships. We know it, but still we strive for certainty, which is sold in fake doses. A diploma, life insurance, a shiny engagement ring: you tie yourself to stuff as to keep the things you love in a safe. But none of these really preserve your life, relationship or career.

In contrast, for the moments when this force dragged me to leave and let go of something I loved even though it was hard, the result was twice as good (or infinitely better) as the previous situation was.

As I start noticing this pattern I find it easier to let go.

When we hold on to things strongly — wishing it stays like that forever — we immediately lock ourselves out of possibilities, luck and serendipity, blocking these situations from happening.

Whenever I remember feeling stuck and scarcity-minded — the whining, “it’s not fair” state of mind, comparing yourself to others — it was because I was holding too strong to the toys life had given me: holding to something good, forcing it to stay, to be there forever. In other words: keeping my hands busy and unable to get a new toy.

And the best things I had in life were serendipitous, happened when I lived in this state of gratefulness, but openness to lose it all, since, in the worst case scenario, I got life. And that’s all we got.

This is what my story in Malaysia looks like. A serendipitous journey. It started by me exploding my apartment in Buenos Aires — in a Fight Club analogy to say I let go of stuff that were keeping me “comfortably numb”. “The things you own end up owning you” — as Tyler Durden (character by Chuck Palahniuk) would say.

Since then, my inner Tyler Durden has been exploding a few apartments. Whenever I feel my attachment is building scarcity around me, I start considering an explosion.

Life is about change, flow, transformation. “Change is the only constant in life” (Heraclitus — or so they say)

Loving your life as it is (abundance), but accepting that it flows and brings new things that might as well be great (curiosity) is what I call the Summertime state of mind.

To summarize it: Abundance + Curiosity = Serendipity.

Which connects to another post about Community Building/Hacking and how did I build an amazing and ever-growing network of amazing people in only a few months, having arrived here knowing 2 people. Actually — this is what I was about to write here, but this “Intro” became a post itself, ha.

Hope this post helps serendipity to invade your life.

Community building is next.

Hug,

Lais

Link to Original Post on Medium, November 8th, 2014

[Thank you for reading! Let me know if it resonates - I love to connect through shared stories. This was literally 10 years ago, wow. Feeling old.

Plot twist: I left Kuala Lumpur in 2018 after building several founders and creative communities (some of which are still standing), leading Africa + APAC growth at Startup Grind, founding/selling my first business (8Spaces), and consulting for the Malaysian government in a few of its most prominent economic development agencies (MaGIC, Cradle, MdEC). And... meeting some of the best friends I'd ever had (still my BFFs). And I left for similar reasons why I left Buenos Aires.

Now I live in New York, wondering what my next step may be.

What is yours?].