Summers are for transitioning -1

There are so many things left unsaid in summer, they are the things I want to talk about.         

Last year, I wrote a summer series called Everything Left Unsaid in Summer. It met mixed reviews. Some called it super sad. Some said it mirrored their present journey, while others simply said they loved that I bring the human everyday experience to Linkedin. This year, I am writing a new summer series. And I am without a doubt aware of who my audiences are; people going through some transitions in their lives. They would recognise these stories, the feelings they evoke, and hopefully come to the conclusion that they are not alone on this journey.

Last week and for the first time in 5 months I took a hiking trip with my church group to Interlaken, for the Harder Kulm - Augstmatthorn hiking route in the beautiful countryside in Switzerland.?I have been fumbling over a few things in my life. I became super touchy about everything and spent the better part of the week panicking about my future.?This journey ended as some form of sanity I needed to move on during this transitioning moment.

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The past 7 months had drained me in every way. After a very tumultuous semester in France, I didn’t have the luxury of a break because it was the perfect time to go for my fieldwork in Nigeria before I resumed my internship in Geneva. (I should say that my program isn’t this tough, I am just being my typical self taking all the opportunities and throwing all the odds out hoping something works for my transition from school back to the job market).

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I travelled 24 hours every month to Germany for school work, spent the better part of my early mornings and late nights writing my thesis, and the rest of the day on my internship. So, although I had just finished my studies and graduated successfully a few weeks ago, I became super anxious about what was going to happen next.?There I was, my permits were all expiring?at the same time, my internship was coming to an end, and I had just received my last scholarship stipend. Yet, there was no job in sight despite my best attempts. On seeing the stars blatantly refusing to align, I was super irritable, closed myself off and really bore my emotions out.?

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I checked through my church group and saw this trip and why not. I felt I needed the trip to bear the brunt of my frustration. Yes, I am going to hike for 6 hours even if I had never hiked for more than 2 hours.?Yes, I don’t care that it’s going to rain. And yes, I don’t even have a hiking gear.?So, I went out without expectations holding on to fate and looking to see how the day would end.

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It was not the best-planned trip because of weather uncertainties. I was hoping that everyone change their mind because it was going to be a foggy day, and I don’t think I had the mental and physical stamina for a 6 hours hike. People got lost trying to find each other, there were a lot of last-minute decisions and some people had decided they didn’t want to hike for that long. Some others had decided they didn’t want to hike anymore and would rather tour Interlaken. There was me, willing to go with any and every of the flow -The aim was to follow someone who had a car to take me back to Geneva at the end of the day. I don’t mind doing what the person wants to do.?

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But there was a lady between everything who had planned her journey to the last Let's call her Sheine. She wanted to hike, she wanted to do the long 6-hour hike, and she wanted it to start at the exact time proposed. The people she had followed there with the car changed their minds about hiking and wanted to tour. It was so discomforting for her. Throughout the whole process, she was so mad,?her blush didn’t disappear from her face for hours.?Even after the hike started, she couldn’t stop talking about her frustration. About how people could just change their minds. How people couldn’t stick to plan and everything else between. I tried to console her but it seemed to go on forever. I became slightly irritated about her lack of flexibility. Then it dawned on me, that I was looking at my everyday self. I throw myself into risks and count how I want the odds to turn out. Feeling miserable when it doesn’t turn out that way.?When I looked at her, I hated how much she kept going on, and kept complaining about everything. When I look at myself, under the calm ambience of nature and how much it had humbled me those last 5 hours... There was nothing different. Outside of the serenity with which I took this trip, That was me.?

?It rained, the steep mountains got super slippery and the clouds foggy. I got angry and walked fast. Then I couldn’t move my legs anymore so I slowed down and took it easy. I watched people pass me and cheered me on. I complained bitterly about wanting to quit. But the journey down is as hard and even lonelier. Besides, I was really curious to know what we got to see up there. So, despite how frustrating the elements were, I moved on.

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When we got to the top, it was still foggy, we could barely see anything. So we sat there filling the log book, taking our snacks and cheering those still trying to get up. Then, somehow, out of nowhere the sun started shining,?the fog cleared up and there was the most vibrant turquoise lake I had ever seen right below the mountains.?There was Sheine singing loud too. There was me feeling at peace with myself. And there were the lessons;?

I may never know how the odds will turn out. but I would have done my best. My duty is to throw the odds, but I don’t control the answers. That reality gave me peace.

I’m transitioning on this journey, and there is this fuse of chaos and beauty tangling around me. I am trying, but I am no longer fighting.?