The sum of "Yeses" and "Nos" we say

Hello, dear friend,

As the end of December approaches, I feel the need to look at my life retrospectively to reflect on what the past year brought me. I have mentioned many times before that I like to plan and work with goals and intentions. Therefore, I have expectations for what I want to achieve in any given period of time.?

One way I like to look back at the year that just passed is to measure how much I worked on my plans. Another way is to compare the amount of planned events with that of unplanned events. And, my favorite way of all is to count my lessons and blessings.?

I practice gratitude. I know I can always do better, but regardless, that does not stop me from appreciating who I am, what I have, and what I am able to do. This past autumn, I attended my 20-year high school reunion. As I walked the hallways of my old high school, I reconnected with the emotions and thoughts I had twenty years ago. I was an excellent student who worked hard, but I had not even dared back then to believe I would have the beautiful, fulfilling life I am living today. Whenever I feel unhappy with my progress, I go back to that feeling and count my blessings.?

Constants and fluctuations. It took me a while to understand and accept that no matter how disciplined I am, fluctuations are a natural part of life. It is my responsibility to choose consistent behaviors, such as keeping active and working out, spending quality time with my dear ones, attending social events, and practicing writing. My goal is to have as few fluctuations as possible within my core life habits. Whenever I deviate from them, I treat it as an exception and get back on track as soon as possible. For example, I planned to write 24 editions of this newsletter this year. Due to unexpected events, I only managed to write 18. Once the fluctuations tempered down, however, I got back to what I purposefully wanted to make it a constant in my life.

The sum of the “yeses” and “nos” we say. When we say “yes” to something, we don’t always know what we are saying “no” to. I continuously fool myself by believing that taking on one more project won’t affect the quality of my work on other concurrent projects. This year, I became more and more aware of the capacity and limits of my bandwidth, both personally and professionally. When I say I can do something, I ask myself, “What do I have to give up?” If the answer is “nothing,” then I know I need to assess further before making a decision, because the answer, realistically, is almost never “nothing.” I enthusiastically organized thirty events in 2023 for the community I founded, Community Dinners. This meant spending less time with loved ones and staying up later than usual for at least thirty evenings this year. Needless to say, I loved every moment of it, but I also learned more about the energy it takes to accomplish these tasks.

Learning is magnetic. Another constant in my life has been learning. This habit of choosing a field I am interested in and actively seeking to understand it better keeps me focused. Through my completion of an online leadership program for women at Oxford University, I gained more insight into women in leadership roles. I also learned more about communities as I worked closely with a community consultant and completed Pryia Parker’s course on how to hold better gatherings. Both of these learning journeys determined the next steps I took in my relevant projects: scaling the community, introducing a membership fee, and launching a new community for women in leadership roles.

I become what I talk about. I always strive to surround myself with people who share my interests. The more I speak about mindset and behaviors, the more I become aware of my own thought processes and habits, which in turn helps me grow. The more I speak about investing, the more I understand the aspects of trends, opportunities, and the market as a whole. I do not expect that one friend or partner should exhaustively share in all the topics I love, but I deliberately dedicate time to meeting people who can nurture my passions for the most significant interests in my life.

I accelerate, then I slow down. Okay, I have to admit, this one is more like a goal I aspire to rather than a point of learning. I love dopamine, and I love being active. The majority of the time, I am overwhelmed by the projects I initiate, propel forward, and become involved in. I always search for excitement because I am fueled by that feeling. However, I need to make a more conscious effort to take periods of time to slow down, rest, and recharge. I discovered at the beginning of November that I only had four unscheduled evenings for the rest of the year, plus a few more events unconfirmed on the list at the time. I made the decision that I would keep these free evenings for myself to enjoy. The music is in the space between the notes.

Regrets: too few to mention. I regularly practice an exercise to look at my life as if it were my last year to live and question what I regret not doing and wish I did. Although I am disappointed that certain things did not end up as I’d hoped, I cannot berate myself for not acting on them. Even though I had moments of confusion along my professional path, I never stopped. I tried different things, I pivoted, I stepped away, I changed my mind and went back, but I never gave up until I felt I put skin in the game before making a decision. When in doubt, I do it—or I do something. Action brings me clarity.

Celebrations and traditions. I am proud of myself for celebrating more small and big victories in 2023. I still have not reached a point where I am able to give the same attention to a victory as I do to a failure, but I am pleased with my progress. I want to turn celebrating into a tradition, just as I started to initiate customs that I was sad I did not have in my life, such as extended family reunions for Christmas.

On a celebratory note, today marks seven years since the graduation of my MBA from INSEAD in Singapore, where I was one of the three graduation speakers. My graduation speech, full of emotions, can be seen here . I still need to breathe deeply to be able to watch it.?

On another celebratory note, I thank all of you for reading my articles and sharing your thoughts with me afterward. It has far exceeded what I expected. I wish you all a beautiful holiday season with peace, inspiration, and a little time for introspection. Have a growing and blooming 2024!

#growingandblooming #greatleadersgrowtogether #thepowerofsharing #acultureofsharing #livingmeaningfully #workingmeaningfully #communitydinners