Suicide

Today I learned the very sad news that one of the key people I used to work with had taken his life *

It’s stomach churning when you hear news like this, and not for the first time I’m left thinking “is there more that I could have done?” And of course it is way too easy to blame yourself, because you could always have done more …. you could have stuck with them wherever they went for example, but that is never going to be realistic.

I say not for the first time, because I’ve lost a member of my family, a member of my rugby team, two friends and four work colleagues, all male, to the same cause. And all bar one of those people was considered the life and soul of the party, which makes it even more strange. Or should I say even more understandable?

So what can we do? All the UK radio stations carried a similar message today. It was to text a friend and ask how they are. If they say “fine” ask them again and give them a chance to talk, as many hide their true feelings and need the prompt to open up. Stiff Upper Lips have a lot to answer for.

But you can do more. As in you! For example, you can approach your employer and volunteer to help them set up a network of Mental Health First Aiders. Not only will more people be trained in understanding these issues, but someone might actually be helped in such a way that they don’t take their life, or at a simpler level, they might take confidence in their own actions or feel better about something they were otherwise worried about. You can talk about your own experiences and help reduce the stigma of talking about mental health issues. And you can check in regularly with your friends and family.

If you’re interested in finding out more about Mental Health First Aiders, then Mental Health England is a great place to start https://mhfaengland.org/

And another way is to have a chat to Natasha Gordon, who project managed the establishment of a system at Wellcome and who is now sharing her expertise with other companies as a consultant, whilst working with Frazzled Cafe, the fantastic initiative pioneered by Ruby Wax. Let me know if you’d like an introduction.

If we all make lots of small changes, we will start to make a difference.

*no names at this stage until everyone has heard through the correct routes