Suffering: The most powerful emotion

Experiencing or Numbing? How do we heal?

It is so easy to numb our pain with drugs, alcohol; it is typical for us to distract our minds by shopping, spending hours in a casino, or playing video games.

It is a daily struggle to make what seemingly, at that moment is the more painful solution to healing. Many choose to ignore, avoid and numbing the pain. I am in a state of grief and suffering and I am ok. In fact I am relishing the experience. I am actually thankful for the loss of the current state of life I am in as well as the inevitable separation of people who chose more exciting ways to spend their lives (as mine was boring I was told). I have failed . I am not ashamed to say that for six years, I have fought so hard to hold on to a life that wasn't mine to have. But I am and will be ok. I chose to experience than to numb. I am in the process of healing and I thank God that he granted me enough sense of self not to lose track of values that I was raised under and finding joy in silence, and aloneness. Contemplation has been and a gift to me.

As I personally experience my own overwhelming stress and sorrow. I had an AHA moment from my interaction with people who are very dear and near to me: my nurse colleagues and the patients I have encountered. In these past few months, I have learned so much from my own suffering and from that of others. What I had initially thought was the common denominator for human survival isn't what I thought it was: the false illusion and drive to be happy. Happiness: there is no such thing! No wonder the quest for happiness is labelled as one that is eternal.

FINDING GRATITUDE IN SUFFERING

Human suffering is the common unspoken bond that that is most powerful. It is the most unwelcome disruption that drives change in people's lives, in organizations and in society. Human suffering resulting from from violence, death is what gives us all a wake-up. Our personal suffering is what grounds us, motivates us to love ourselves and fight for what we truly deserve; it helps us surrender and accept what is. Our personal suffering is what make us grow and look to others for inspiration, and comfort. It is what helps us appreciate life, what prompts to be grateful. It is the inspiration for many artists, authors and philanthropists to do good and strive to give to a cause that is much greater than overselves. It is what gave healthcare and frontline workers the compassion and resilience to serve selflessly so others will continue to heal and survive.

Human suffering has disrupted corrupt societies and triggered the development of much needed mass movements in history and in well read books. Human suffering is and has been the driver to everything that is good that has came out of this world: compassion, suffrage, fighting for human rights. Suffering and awareness of others' pain are what drives us to love to think outside of ourselves.

But what has society stigmatized suffering? Why do people raise their eyebrows when someone says they are sad or depressed? Why do we judge people when they say they are sad, oppressed, stressed, depressed? Those of us who have survived and experienced suffering very well understand that we were shamed or are ashamed to speak of our sorrow and grief. Does society's social standards program us to isolate? Why do social media promote a sense of greatness with unrealistic lives, looks and statuses? Why is the news media shock us with news of suffering, catastrophes, perversions, murder, etc. when in fact all these are happening in our neighborhoods? Because we were all taught to hush up and zip it. We were all told to not to be so loud when we talk about someone's misfortunes WHEN ALL THESE ARE REAL? Perhaps the media was right all along in bringing all these pain and suffering to our attention. Maybe it is time to look at our own suffering and that of people around us as an experience to drive us...

we being forced to be silent and isolate In isolation, we cannot and do not seek help until we are all on the verge of or in full-blown crisis. Or

I have been struggling personally with changes in my life. As I went into the field of mental health, I came to understand that in as much as we all enjoy and are happy for other's accolades and success; we tend to look down upon those who are struggling. We tend to clam up, put out a fake smile, self isolate until we are in crisis. Attempt to cope by numbing and ignoring the huge gaping hole of hurt, rejection, abuse. We tend to spend our time covering it up, patching it with things, unhealthy distractions, some end up projecting their hurt to others.

On this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I own my pain, my hurt. I am not in any way weak nor am I seeking any attention. All I ask is for everyone to dig deep and experience suffering as a gift to drive me and you to change until it is no more. Don't resist or hide it. I want to challenge all my friends to speak out and speak up of what ails you, let us find comfort and love in others who are going through the same. Our lives should not be lived in hiding from what in fact, is most crucial to our survival as humans. Experiencing suffering is what will free us all from the heavy load that we have been carrying in shame and silence. Speak out and Speak up!

This prayer came from the heart today and is dedicated in all of us who are currently struggling. We will continue to fight, and find comfort in knowing that you, we are NOT alone.

Today's Resilence Prayer

Today, I chose to slowly but surely experience the loss, betrayal, and my separation from the life that I thought was mine. I want to feel every tug, stab, tearing, burning, sensation in my broken heart only to mend it into a better stronger whole. My soul is open to the challenge from each self-defeating thought and self-doubt only to obtain the wisdom to let go of what was holding me back from whom I am supposed to be. I will find comfort in my tears, knowing they were meant to wash away what has clouded my vision from the path that I was born to follow. My heart, mind and soul are open, welcoming any and all possibilities that will mold me to become the warrior that I was born to become. Together in unity, we pray for strength and resilience from Mother Earth and the Higher Power to continuously guide us all in serving our purpose in this life and the life to come.