Suffer Everything – Dare Everything

A thought on something I’ve learned from clients, interviews, or an idea that seems worth sharing.

When I delivered my TEDx talk, the “core idea” I was trying to convey was that when you create your own crucible, you change your narrative.

A crucible is a ceramic container in which metals are melted so they can be forged into something stronger. It’s also a severe test in which people can be shaped into something indomitable. It’s a trial that breaks you down, and changes your story because you emerge more durable, and more resourceful.

Well, none of had to create a crucible in the last year - a giant crucible was created for all of us.

Why should we care about changing our narrative? Because when we’re too comfortable, we don’t stretch ourselves. We don’t take risks, we don’t innovate, and we don’t align our goals with our values to make a difference in the lives of others.

A narrative turns an event into information and knowledge, and is responsible for how you perceive your own story.

Yesterday I was walking around our little town, and observing how most of the small businesses and restaurants have actually survived, because not one of them operates like they did a year ago. Every single one has made significant changes to adapt, survive, and some are starting thrive again.

How have the events of the past year changed your own story? How have you adapted?

“Circumstances don't make the man, they only reveal him to himself.” ― Epictetus

We cannot wait for - nor depend on - “institutions” to fully prepare us for what lies ahead. The responsibility does not belong to family, friends, school, our employer, or the government. Our obligation for future impact is our own personal responsibility.

We are the authors of our own lives, and we have to know what kind of lives we want to write. This requires deep introspection and is the opportunity to pressure test yourself.

When it comes to changing our narrative, there are three ways we can change our narrative – It’s knowing which questions to Ask, having the courage to Answer, and the audacity to Act.

1. First – ASK. Are you choosing to play big ball or small ball? There’s no turning back, and when your goals are based on what you hold dear, quitting isn’t an option.
2. Second – ANSWER. It’s about hearing the unheard to overcome your own negative self-talk. Do you have clarity when it comes to your aspirations?
3. Third – ACT. As you journey forward, what’s needed to muster the courage to move beyond the status quo and turn aspirations in to actions?

 This is about cultivating your grit to face the real possibility of failure, and the awareness to know the product of adversity is pressurized grace. The real hero goes the distance with grace and daring, and then has plenty still to give. 

You can embrace the circumstances as your own crucible - because that’s what’s needed to reframe your life story… and change your narrative.

“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” ― Epictetus

 You might like…

 Given the topic this week, you may want to share my TEDx talk or the LinkedIn Learning video below with a friend or colleague.

What I’ve been reading…

Written before the pandemic, distinguished businesswoman and author Margaret Heffernan explores the people and organizations who aren’t daunted by uncertainty in Uncharted: How to Navigate the Future. She explores: How can we think about the future? What do we need to do—and who do we need to be?

What’s coming up…

Conversation with a foreign correspondent - coalition building

I am interviewing Zack Baddorf on LinkedIn Live/YouTube and Facebook on Thursday, February 9th at 10:30am PST.

Zack Baddorf is a national security and foreign policy practitioner with more than 18 years experience on the frontlines of the world’s conflicts, including Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Central African Republic, Crimea, Kashmir and the West Bank.

As a foreign correspondent, his research and analysis has been published in the New York Times, Washington Post, Associated Press, and many other publications. Zack has received multiple awards for his strategic initiatives, creative problem solving, coalition building, and ability to manage crises.

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Jan Rutherford is an executive coach and keynote speaker. A former Green Beret and founder of Self-Reliant Leadership? - he also leads Crucible? wilderness expeditions with executives and veterans.