Sue me sue you
'I hold the advantage of knowing their inveterate habits.' – Sherlock Holmes
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Those food/health inspectors employed by states, counties, and cities nationwide are getting tougher and can be harbingers of unpleasant 24/7/365 phone calls.
Don’t underestimate those Simba’s turned King Kong’s.
One of several examples concerning food/health inspectors/investigators, I’ll go back a few dozen blue moons.
Let’s begin with a hermetically sealed 85 percent lean raw fine grind 2-pound package of ground beef that’s positioned within a meat case at a retail store.
The 2-pounds of ground beef contained within our package at its penultimate end of the food chain was *possibly exposed to the following:
· A beef harvesting HACCP/SSOP system
· *Tested for generic E. coli while hanging on a rail before/or after being split into halves
· *Tested for E. coli O157:H7 while hanging on a rail before or after being split into halves
· *Tested for indicative organisms while hanging on a rail before or after being split into halves - prior to making its journey on an overhead rail systems leading to the carcass breaking saw
· A raw not ground beef HACCP/SSOP system
· A raw ground beef HACCP/SSOP system
· *Further tested for indicative organisms and specific pathogenic testing before and or after grinding operations and sent to an ISO 17025 accredited laboratory who carbon emulates USDA’s microbiological testing methodologies and sensitivities – or performed in-house.
The multiple microbiological testing of the suspected lot that contained our 85 percent ground beef package all returned negative for O157:H7 - including acceptable results for indicative organisms.
So is our ground beef package, pathogen free?
Our 85 percent ground beef that the food/health inspector grabbed and tested – popped a positive for an O157:H7.
Back up samples – same.
Oh Darling, please believe me, … those OH-OH 157’s microscopic critters and their kissing cousins, the six NO-NO H7 STECS are as elusive as Harry Houdini.
Recall time.
Lights, cameras, lawsuits, action!
Sue me sue you blues.
HACCP re-assessment time. Possible curtain calls from you know whom – USDA’s decreeing NOIE’s and their gratuitous FSA’s. (Hey Trump! Cut here!)
Further investigations unveiled that approximately 20,000 pounds of frozen beef trimmings that were imported from Down-under, had been included as an ancillary addition to our 85 percent ground beef.
However, Down-unders certificate of analysis was negative for OH-OH 157:H7.
So everybody’s specific pathogenic testing were negative - except for - the food/health inspector’s samples.
Fecal happens.
Oh, really Sherlock?
The lot of 85 percent ground beef that was recalled resulted with no reported illnesses.
However, this story has not yet ended.
The best has yet to be unveiled – like Hollywood used to in the 1960’s.
This USDA establishment that manufactured the positive 85 percent ground beef lost some good-paying ‘high-high-high’ volume customers.
Why?
Because it had been previously stipulated, within legal binding contract(s) agreed upon by both parties, that “fresh never before frozen domestic only” beef trimmings were only to be used for 85 percent ground beef.
That’s why.
Know that this type of deceitful maneuvering happens habitually – by selected purveyors.
Shhh, quiet!
Oh, really?
Hand(s) caught within a customers cookie jar = an Old Testament expletive resulting with cash flow constipation via thou capped direct-depositing pipeline.
Hey, there! I thought this stuff only happens in China … and Brazil …
“Delectable/definitive sample of 21st century food fraud that even Sir W himself would have choked upon with his smuggled Cuban cigar, Mr. Watson. Please take a chair next to Toby, my most loyal foxhunting hound of hounds, ah yes … there near the fire.”
“Tea?”
“Is the Pope Catholic? … Thank you, Mr. Holmes.”
“Mr. Holmes, when shall we begin deliberating on exports? I suspect London rats the size of cats.”
“Mr. Watson, please now! Leave that to her Majesty’s Secret Service.”
“Rather, I’m focusing my 21st century high-resolution transmission electron microscope so we may divulge that N-60 meat surface samples are utterly being inundated with high levels of known anti-bacterial concoctions.”
“… By clandestinely saturating a 4.5 pH or lower reading of common organic/citric acids, results have indelibly evinced enhanced penetration of crevices naturally inherent of fatty acid surfactants. However, not even a man with a golden gun, it’s not one-hundred percent.”
“Ah, oh, yes, brilliant, Mr. Holmes … God Save The Queen??”
“To be utterly precise for you and Toby - samples R being laced with Moriarty-like acts of doctoring that’s being executed prior to their analysis to un-suspecting in-house accredited labs and germane 3rd party ISO 17025 accredited laboratories.”
“Mister Holmes … nooo!”
“Are you suggesting gram-stained gram-negative Franken-fraud?”
“Indeed… my dear … Watson!
“At the very molecular level in of itself!
“Great Cesar’s Ghost … !”
“Where there’s smoke of this ilk, there’s bonfire’s! … now lay down baby Toby … ah, um, she’s getting a tad bit older.”
“I venture to say my dear Watson that I hold the high ground of being acquainted to such despondent innate recitals. Never rebate this most exclusive predominant modicum.”
“Nota bene, Sir Holmes … a bloody red flare shot over their starboards bow!”
“Yes, Watson, end-deed … end-deed!”
“Evoke permanently Mr. Watson, that you only live twice.”