“Suddenly you’re 40, and haven’t got a good job?”

I turned 40 this year, 2019. I found myself reflecting a lot on my past. In a weird, sudden flash backs.

I look back on my life thinking, “why did I do that?” and, we all have these regrets. Or decision-making times in our lives. “why did I leave that job?” it wasn’t till the last 10 years I realised what I wanted to work toward. For me, I think that was important. For some people, having a stable job is more important that a life dream.

Then things change… like, my friend, Keith discovered.

Lately got into a conversation with my mate Keith on Facebook. He recently turned 40 too. Also - He has recently let go from his company.

He left under a cloud I think (but I’ll come to this). 15 years he was there. Since 25 – worked his way up from Sales Executive to…. Ummm…. Sales Executive. Pretty much didn’t change his role in that time. Got given a few accounts, a few pay raises. And his earnings didn’t really change that much in 15 years.

What I think happened to Keith, was subconscious. As the business is a large one, the sales floor got younger. It’s a type of job, where the sales floor is full of 20 somethings, and it’s not a career job, I would call it a transitional job – if you get me. 1 in 500 becomes the manager. His colleagues became managers, he never put himself forward but was bitter that he never got picked. And he didn’t move anywhere. Keith got comfy.

But also – Keith got rude and full of himself. And became that annoying guy in the company. Forever seeking advice with mutual friends, asking them “HR advice” about things going on in work. Sadly – I am not an HR expert – and it became obvious to me, what Keith’s real problem is –

He should have left the job 10 years ago.

What do I mean? Well, there is such a thing as outstaying your welcome in a job. I know the feeling. You can see if happening around you, where you are not evolving any further. Management reviews are either 2 mins long or a battleground of shit you don’t do anymore. Should do, and/or you’ve never done, and its high time you started.

You blame things – “Efffing Computer system” “that Manager has it in for me” “they just want me out!”  – you know WHEN the excuses are manifestations of fear and insecurities aimed at the coffee machine selection is limited - it’s time to move on... That was Keith 10 years ago.

I get it though. We want stability in our careers. I like stability. I also like challenging myself to grow.

Keith’s greatest challenge? Wallpapering the bathroom. Right mess, he, in the end, hired a guy to do it. I remember the Facebook posts about it.

So, Keith came to me seeking CV and life advice lately. Well, when I say he came to me, it was “Hey Mark, I am out of work, what the fuck do I do now?” 3 kids, Mortgage, wife that has a 2 shoe a month habit and he owns “Le Creuset” pot and pan set, that cost over ￡1000 – and its orange too. Also – By-folding doors to get to the garden. Who loves a good By-folding door hey? 15 years of stability has given him everything he has always wanted – and his family. And now, “I am lost Mark, I have no idea what to do?”  

But I argue – is he really lost?

I remember when he started that job, he fell out of uni, worked in retail, wanted something paying more. 15 years later, he is scratching his head, typing on Facebook messenger to a long lost friend (me by the way) pouring his life out – wonder why the hell the world has moved so fast on, and he feels like Han solo coming out of Carbonite.

“I’ve wasted 15 years in that job,” he says to me. “why did I do that?” Keith slipped into a pocket in the job market world. “The easy job, easy money,” he says to me, “not that much in a challenge” – things lined up for him because the company had a good name in the market. But there is nothing wrong with this. It does have a shelf life though. And it can de-skill us. There is a reason why I call these types of jobs transitional.

“Because it was easy, you earned good money for 15 years, and now you realise your mortality,” I said to him.

It’s daunting you know – falling out of a business, to the wide world. A lot of people get institutionalised quickly in companies. I witness it all the time.

“why am I 40 with no hopes for my future,” he said to me. I felt the frustration and pain you know.

See at the point of writing this message to me, he was 3 months into finding a job, got a couple of interviews. But quickly realised – his skills working in a large business selling food to companies tied into contracts wasn’t really the skills these companies wanted.

“my skills are like the NYPD doing target practice all the time, and never shooting a suspect” “these companies want seasoned SWAT” – Keith is a bit melodramatic – but I get the idea. His skills are useful to the role he did, and not the role his job title tells us, and we think he can do.  

Skip to the end…

Long story short. Keith messaged me today “I got a job offer!!!” – I think it was about 5 months out of work for him by now…

“What is the job offer for mate?” I typed excitedly for him.

“Sales Person at a Car dealership” he responded.

“Congratulations!” I said “you’re back on the road, literally”

“It will do, it’s not what I wanted, but it pays the bills…” he replied

It pays the bills.

I kind of think, Keith might have got this all wrong you know. I think Keith had a good job all this time. Despite my thoughts on it. He did 15 years in it. And it wasn’t the job that went bad for Keith. It was Keith that went bad for the job.

Which led to him feeling unwelcomed, in a job he spent 15 years in. He didn’t lose his job because they didn’t want him. He lost his job because he lost perspective.  Keith said he was lost, he just never found himself.

And he still hasn’t found himself.

A good job today isn’t just defined by the company, the perks, the fruit, the holidays, the parking, the pension. You define a good job too. Your attitude, your want, your WHY? But remember – you do evolve – sometimes, it's not the company or job that changes… it's you.