Sucking the Fun out of a Bouncy House - Tales of Burnout
Richard Mitchell
Learning and Development | Leadership Development | Author of “Regain: How to Build High-Performing Organizations with High Performers" (coming 2025) | Veteran
We’ve all been in meetings that lasted two hours more than they needed to. A lot of small talk and repetitiveness, etc.??
Post Covid, meetings have gotten much worse. Attention spans have depleted and adults find it just as difficult to put their phones down as kids do. Much of the time suck of such meetings comes from shoe shopping and TikTok videos of grown men hurting each other.?
At one meeting in particular, every time something good was discussed - a positive turn in statistics, a rare compliment by a stakeholder - one of the attendees put a negative spin on it. Her comments prompted me to lean over to my colleague and say, “she could suck the fun out of a bouncy house.”
As proud as I was at that quip, (I mean seriously, that’s hilarious, am I right), I have to think that part of the negativity was due to burnout on her part.?
What makes me think this?
Well, when I reflect on that moment, I realize that if she hadn’t been turning the positives into negatives, I would have done it.?
I was already negating the reported successes in my head. The fact that my colleague was doing it out loud provided me with the ability to turn the table on her and blame her for the negativity.?
Only upon reflection have I realized that I (alongside her) was utterly burned-out.?
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?? When we hear the term “Burnout,” we often think of it as a cooler way to say “stressed.”?
??♂? “I’m so burned out.” We use it in the same way that we use “OCD” or “ADHD.” As in, “My OCD is kicking in because the kitchen is messy,” or “My ADHD brain makes me scroll on my phone.”?
???????? We know that OCD and ADHD are actual, serious conditions (if “condition” is the right word), but we are just now starting to learn about “burnout” and all that it entails as a difficulty in people’s professional and personal lives.?
There are three categories of symptoms when it comes to burnout: Physical, Emotional, and Behavioral.?
Emotional Symptoms:
?? Detachment from work
?? Apathy about work
?? Dissatisfaction with work
?? Lack of motivation
?? Self-Doubt
?? Imposter Syndrome
?? Reduced sense of accomplishment and satisfaction with work
?? Negativity and cynicism toward work
?? Feeling stuck
?? Loneliness and isolation
There are other symptoms. I highlight these because they were my symptoms.?
All of them.?
?? Had I known that “burned-out” was an actual condition, I would have paid more attention to the things that were happening to me - this way of living that I was LIVING INTO.?
Imagine experiencing all of this, all at the same time. Then, imagine the behavioral and physical problems that resulted from the symptoms above.?
Physical Symptoms:?
?? Change in sleep habits
?? Forgetfulness
?? Loss of concentration
?? Diseases and illnesses related to stress
?? Lethargy
?? Headaches and body aches
The problem is, these physical symptoms show up in many other ways, especially with stress!
?? These physical symptoms and the difficulty of using them as evidence that there might be a larger problem, make it very difficult to identify them as burnout.?
As a professional, I expected to lose a lot of sleep, to get sick from stress, to have headaches and body aches. To me, these were signs that I was “doing it right.”
?? What I missed was that I was also becoming forgetful and inattentive. I was making rookie mistakes.?
Because I didn’t understand burnout as a condition, I didn’t put these together.?
Behavioral Symptoms:?
?? Self-medication with alcohol or drugs
?? Irritability
?? Anger problems
?? Distancing from family, friends, and coworkers
? Being late to work and/or leaving early
?????? Overuse of sick time
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?? Procrastination and distractibility
The behavioral symptoms of burnout are the most diverse and unexpected, to a degree.?
The reason I say these are less predictable is that I didn’t see them as signs of burnout in myself; rather, I saw them as signs of depression.?
?? I thought I was distancing myself from colleagues because I was depressed, but in fact, I was distancing myself because I was not interested in my work and I was cynical about my productivity and effectiveness. In short, I was embarrassed at what had become of me professionally.?
?? I thought I was using sick time because I had it saved up, but really I was avoiding going to work.?
?? The sick time element was really confusing to me because I was always someone who either prided myself on NOT taking sick time, or because I was simply NOT ALLOWED to take sick time in certain instances.?
Case in point… I scheduled a minor surgery for after work hours on a Monday. I drove myself to and from the surgery (not a good idea). I did not take the next day off as advised by my doctor, or as common sense would dictate. At 8 pm the following evening, I was in so much pain that I had to tap out of a meeting and leave work EARLY - at 8 pm.
?? I thought I was coming in later and leaving work earlier as a matter of self-care, but in reality, I was simply not interested in being at work any longer than I absolutely had to.?
And I could not concentrate on anything. I thought that was a matter of learned behavior over Covid, but really, I was distracting myself from the reality of burnout and misery in my professional life.?
When you combine the emotional, physical, and behavioral signs and symptoms of burnout, you get a damning result which often leads to major health concerns, loss of job and stability, or loss of family stability (divorce is what comes to mind here).?
Again, I know this because I lived it. My burnout caused significant health problems, financial crisis and divorce, among others.?
It’s not fun.?
If you are having these symptoms, it’s time to say something and to get help!
That’s why I’m here.?
Grab a slot on my calendar and we’ll set up a call to help you with what you need:
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Let's keep it light! Here are three quick shares to help you through your day!
Book: “The Way Forward” by yung pueblo
My daughter gave me this book for Christmas.?
She’s so cool…
yung pueblo writes of existence, emergence, togetherness, direction, and confidence.?
These are poems that you can post as daily affirmations.
Podcast: “S-Town” - a Serial Production
I revisited this podcast after overindulging on self-help and business shows. I needed a break.?
This is a tragic tale to be sure. But man is it told in such a compelling and mesmerizing way.?
Music: “Waiting and Wanting” by The Black Crowes
A little self-indulgence here…
I have been a fan of the Crowes since they first arrived on the scene in 1990 with “Jealous Again.”
This is their first single in 15 years.?
Pretty Cool.
Dad Joke:?
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-ntain.