Successful people use A.C.T. when making small talk vs "how are you doing today?"

"How are you?" can be three of the most useless words while communicating. The person asking rarely truly wants to know, and the person responding doesn't tell the truth. What follows is a lost opportunity for real connection and meaningless exchange. According to a research done by Harvard, the key is to ask a series of follow up questions. For true connection: 1. Be in the moment 2. Observe your surroundings 3. Use the A.C.T. trick:

Start with a question that will build up to a conversation that meets the A.C.T. criteria:

• A?- There’s?authenticity
• C?- There’s a?connection
• T?- There’s a topic that will give them?taste of who you are

Some of those questions might be:

• “What’s your current state of mind?”
• “What are you looking forward to this week?”
• “You remind me of a celebrity, but I can’t remember which one — who’s someone you relate to?”

Move beyond the cliché topics to things that more important and personal to you. Find something to focus on in your surroundings, like a family photo on their desk, race car helmet, a funky gadget, etc. Stop looking at your phone or, my favorite, say: "Hi, how are you?" and keep moving, never stopping to hear that person's response. Your connection could be the one conversation they need to feel alive, forget about their chronic illness, terrible day they are having, or whatever life throws their way. It's not what you say, but how you say it, that will help others connect with you.