“Successful people do the things that unsuccessful people won’t.”

Have you ever come across someone who is an overnight success? How many years did it take them to get there??

Let me just be clear here: anyone claiming to be an overnight success is blocking their past.

Our minds love a challenge, but only if it meets the right conditions. If it’s too easy, our mind gets bored and moves on to something else. If it’s too hard, we lose motivation quickly… and move on to something else. James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, calls it the ‘Goldilocks Rule’ – not too easy, not too hard, but just right.

I’ve often posted a quote from Bob Proctor that “Successful people do the things that unsuccessful people won’t.”. It’s not only having difficult conversations, accepting failure as a part of the overall journey, and staying true to their vision. It’s also practising the steps repeatedly, even when they become boring.

Let’s take a runner as an example. Having talent is not enough. Having body composition is not enough.?The runner needs to build their tolerance of distance. They need to do countless drills… repeatedly. And then there is strength building and mindset building amongst a myriad of other activities. All to be done over and over. What must seem like endless kilometres at times. And step by step, a champion runner is made.

What does that mean for you?

To link back to last week’s topic of boundaries and values, it means that it takes practice and for an action to ‘stick’ or become a habit, it has to meet the ‘Goldilocks Rule’ – not too easy, not too difficult, just right. Just outside your comfort zone enough that it challenges our minds but doesn’t overwhelm us.

What if you have developed a habit of eating lunch at your desk and you feel that you need to change that so that you can have a break. One of your top values is health. But you have so much work to do! You could start by writing down (yes… write it down – with pen on paper) the reasons that taking a break is good for you. Try for 50 reasons. That gets you passed the superficial and into the deeper reasons.

Set yourself the boundaries of how long you will spend away from your desk. You could start with the time it takes to eat – not too easy, not too hard. And practise it. Some days will be easier than others. On the days that you are distracted, revisit your written reasons to reinforce your motivation to link your habits, boundaries, and values.

Once that becomes your habit, you might extend again to the time it takes to eat and walk for 10 minutes – not too easy, not too hard. I think you’re getting the pattern here.

The key is to only take on what is manageable. Don’t set out to change everything this week or this month. It is a process of building. Some habits will be built faster than others and every now and then, you’ll slip back into old patterns. Don’t let that de-rail you. Keep going.

I’ll finish with a poem by Lao Tsu that I like to think of when it comes to life:

Men are born soft and supple;

Dead, they are still and hard.

Plants are born tender and pliant;

Dead, they are brittle and dry.

Thus whoever is stiff and inflexible

Is a disciple of death.

Whoever is soft and yielding

Is a disciple of life.

The hard and still will be broken.

The soft and supple will prevail.

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