Success Through Connecting

If your work involves any kind of collaboration, communication will prove to be pivotal. Since we are all social beings, connecting with others is involved in almost everything we do. 

Some people had an upbringing that positioned them to get in front of people regularly, so they will be ahead of the game in their careers. Although, the overwhelming majority of us need to work on our ability to connect with others. Regardless of if you feel like you’re a master at communication or if you feel that you struggle, we could all benefit from digesting ideas regarding making our communication skills better.  

Why Growing Your Communication Skills Matter

The International Journal of Business Communication put out a study in which 354 managers were asked to identify their most desirable quality in an employee. The overwhelming consensus was effective communication skills. This means that you could have the best technical skills in the job market, but you could fail to advance in your career if you lack communication skills.   

Understanding the dynamics of communication will help prevent misunderstandings and save you a tremendous amount of wasteful effort from having to explain yourself multiple times. You’ll know that you’re on the right path regarding connecting with others, when you can inspire people to action with as few words as possible. 

Here are some thoughts regarding conversations: 

There are multiple dynamics at play when you’re communicating with someone. Even if you know how to formulate your words to make sense (to you), there is no guarantee that the recipient of the conversation will fully understand where you are coming from. Since we all have different experiences in life, some words don’t carry the same weight in a conversation. This is why listening and processing ideas with someone in a conversation is so important. 

Since there are many people in our world that have less than desirable communication skills, it’s important that we continue to strengthen ours, so we can have a better shot at connecting with the masses. When more people understand you, you’ll put yourself in a better position to get what you want. 

Here are some ideas for improving your ability to connect:

1) Listen. In a conversation, your listening skills are significantly more important than your speaking skills. Especially if you ask the right questions; the person you’re talking with will dominate the conversation. Make sure to use proper eye contact and pay close attention to what the other person is saying. Try to completely avoid pondering what you want to say next. In fact, if you pause and wait 2 seconds after the other person is done talking, you will force yourself to become a better listener.

2) Utilize calm responsibility. If you go into a conversation calm, cool, and collected, you will put the other person at ease and by doing this you’ll set the stage for good conversation. When things are at peace, it’s easier to get your point across and connect. With that said, it also means you need to take full responsibility for the words that come out of your mouth. If you make a mistake, be vulnerable; admit that you misspoke and apologize for the error. 

3) Don’t debate. Now don’t get me wrong, I like watching a good debate. To me watching presidential debates is like watching the Super Bowl; I love it. Although, when it comes to having a conversation where you truly want to connect with someone, then you want to keep argumentative language out. If your talk turns into a debate, you want to mentally step back and assess what’s going. What’s important, especially in a working environment or networking event, is to fully understand the issue at hand and desire solutions that benefit everyone. You should never be fearful of compromising on a topic in order to build rapport. You might be tempted to “win” if the conversation turns into a debate, but that is NOT a good way to connect and understand someone. 

Becoming an exceptional communicator is a process. Don’t get frustrated on this journey. Keep practicing and growing and you’ll be happy with the gains you make.