Success Story

How do you measure your success? Is it money? Discretionary time? Stuff? Happy relationships? Health and wellness? All of the above? But how do you decide what makes you happy? What are your "metrics" of happiness??

Most people spend little time thinking about how they measure happiness and then setting goals to catch the elusive bluebird of happiness. So what is your success story? Having a vision of your version of a happy ending and setting goals will put you on the road to happy destiny. You only need to start the process and then stay focused.?

Have you noticed how elusive happiness is? You get good grades in school and are asked to get better grades. You make good money, and you want more money. That used Honda you were so proud of suddenly loses its shine when your best friend gets a new Lexus. How you measure happiness is an exercise in mindfulness. You get to decide what makes you happy, but you need to decide what that is.?

In my 20s, I asked my mother if she wished she was as young as me. My mother was in her early 60s at the time. She exclaimed in no uncertain terms, "Absolutely not!" Born in 1920, at this point, she had experienced The Great Depression, World War II, The Vietnam War era, social unrest, the cultural upheaval of the 1960s, and the raising of a complicated brood of three children. My father was a traveling salesman, so she had to deal with most of the kid-rearing stuff.?

My mother was a tough woman. A real "iron lady." Although raised in a tumultuous household, there were many laughs, and my mom and dad were very much in love. My father's mantra was, "work hard and save your money." He worked hard and played hard. My parents traveled a lot. Mostly road trips, not fancy European getaways. They seemed to be making up for the lost time they sacrificed to hardship in their youth.?

They were frugal, and we never had the nicer things that some friends and neighbors had. I was always embarrassed by our sofa with the patches. Then, years before they retired, they bought a modest one-bedroom condo in Venice, Florida, and spent the Winters there "living the good life," as my father would always say. Golf, martinis, and friends.?

Just before my father passed, he called me to tell me that I had to take care of my mother, as they didn't have any money. I assured him that I would take good care of his beloved wife. Upon his passing, I traveled to Florida to make arrangements. I told my grieving mother what my father had told me: she had nothing to worry about and could move in with us. She burst out in laughter. "He told you what?" Edward, we are multimillionaires! I was shocked. I assume my dad was testing me one last time. The varietal: "Millionaires Next Door."?

My mother and father's success story was one of ups and downs, but there were several central themes and a sense of continuity in the plot. Despite the difficulties, they were in love, grateful, frugal, and had a very positive outlook. They got up every day and worked hard, and saved their money. They played just as hard. They weren't looking back.

My parent's success story is the classic American Dream scenario: a young couple in love struggles through war, economic downturn, and social upheaval while raising a family, working hard, and saving their pennies. But, besides some of the fears and pains of aging, their story had a happy ending. My folks had few regrets and carved out a good life for themselves.?

It is The Dream my generation was sold. If you work hard, you can achieve happiness in America. There was a corporate ladder that my father climbed successfully. He worked for the same corporation for 46 years, from a lowly office clerk to a successful national sales representative.?

My generation is The Baby Boomers. Compared to my parent's generation, we were spoiled rotten. I was a rebellious hippie-wanna-be. My dad was so upset at the length of my hair that he barely talked to me for three years! The generation gap was in full swing. My father served in the Navy during WW II and was disgusted by my generation's anti-Vietnam War sentiments.?

Once, when a few of my friends were over at our house, my father gave an impassioned speech now known in our family as the "bite the bullet and get into the mainstream" speech. But, of course, we found it humorous and didn't understand what he was ranting about.?

The "mainstream" was my father's American Dream experience. Employee loyalty and commitment were garnered by a guarantee of employment, including great benefits, perks, and a built-in career path. But, unfortunately, the America of the 50s, 60s, and 70s that I grew up in had little resemblance to what would come socially and economically. By the 1980s, "trickle-down economics" took hold, and the once prosperous middle class found The Dream more elusive.?

Since 2020, a new generation of workers, The Millenials, now occupies the majority. They are vilified by many in my generation because they are "lazy, unloyal, and unrealistic," to name a few disparaging stereotypes that we Boomers hurl their way. I have four millennial children, and they are none of the above.?

A quiet revolution was brewing, and the pandemic lit the fuse to create The Great Resignation. The new generation is building a new ladder and redefining The Dream through an entrepreneurial, independent mindset. They have no choice. The sentiment that we can make America great again by returning to the values of the 1950s ignores the historical facts.?

Without a time machine, the future of The Dream appears to be about scrapping together a career path that is fragmented and foggy at best. For me, employers struggling to find qualified help and lower turnover need to face the brutal fact that their success is tied to the same building blocks of loyalty from my father's experience: trust, safety, and belonging.?