Success in life begins on the home front.

Success in life begins on the home front. Almost without exception if you do not have a happy home life you will not have success in your career. The two go hand in hand.

In case you have not figured it out yet, I’m talking about marriage. I’m sure you all have heard it said, “Happy wife, Happy life!” But, that’s only half of the truth. What? You may ask.

Let’s begin at the beginning shall we?

And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh, And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

So this is how it all started husbands and wife's, marriages. It Seems simple the two become one, but then why so many divorces? As of 2018 over fifty percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

So, What is the key or keys to a good successful marriage?

Every married couple (and a lot of divorced people) want to know the answer to that question.?

Now I won't pretend to be an expert on marriage but Andra and I have been married for thirty four years, and I will not even pretend that time alone makes me an expert. So I am going to attempt to answer the question above using two ancient texts like the one you just read, one written around two thousand years ago, and one even older. And I will also use a few stories from modern times mainly from my own life. This one is going to be a little longer than my usual posts. And a little more on the serious side rather than comedic, so get yourself a cup of coffee, or tea and curl up on the Couch or climb into your recliner or office chair and get ready for a thought provoking read. Maybe even get your spouse to read along with you.

To start with the first ancient text I would like to examine comes from the book of Mark chapter ten verses six through eight.

It was written in that ancient text and the speaker is non other than Jesus (Yeshua) Himself.

From the beginning of creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.?

I'm sure we have all heard people refer to their spouse as their better half, or other half. The scripture above is where this analogy comes from. They two are no longer two, but one flesh. Each of them one half of one person. I'm going to ruffle some feathers here with this next one I'm sure. But, Did you ever wonder why not so long ago women used to change their names when they got married? When Andra married me, she was no longer Andra Nicholson. She became Mrs. William (Andy) Pendleton, the better/other half of me. They two are no longer two, but one flesh.

I openly share our marriage with anyone who will listen so most people that I know have heard me say this before, (and some people have called me crazy for it) but this time I will explain the why also. Every Friday (for those who do not know, I sell shoes for a living, and Andra sells insurance) I bring home a check for the work I do at the shoe store and I give it to Andra with a smile on my face and?I say, “Here's your paycheck.” And she does whatever she does with it, I'm not even sure what. I have not even opened one of my paychecks in years, and am not really sure how much I make. The bills get paid, she leaves some for me to invest and some to have fun with, my wife is happy, I am happy, my children are happy, and all of our needs are met. Are you laughing at me yet? Some people do, they say things like “your whipped.” Or, “why do you just give her your paycheck?’ “No women would treat me like that.” I just look at them dumbfounded. They have no idea. In fact just this morning Andra says to me I'm going to run up to the Dollar General to pick up something or other, and she grabs my wallet and keys and runs out the door. I think maybe she finds it easier to just grab my wallet and keys for short trips than it is to get her purse and dig through it for her wallet and keys. But the reason does not really matter. What does matter, is what was written in the ancient text.?

“They two are no longer two, but one flesh.”

If we are no longer two but one flesh each half of the other, then how can I give half of myself, a paycheck belonging to the other half? How can half of me own something that the other half of me does not own? If I am half of her and she is half of me then what is mine is also hers and what is hers is also mine. It is no longer my paycheck or my wallet, or my keys, or my phone it is our paycheck, our wallet, our keys, our phone. We share everything!

Now let's look at the flip side, (who knows what the flip side is? Only us oldsters really do.)?

Anyway, Anyone who has ever been a visitor to our home knows that Andra brings me drinks, sometimes I ask for them, and she brings them, but mostly she just brings them to me without me asking. She fixes all my plates at every meal, she makes all my lunches that I take to work, and sometimes I even get little notes in them telling me how much she loves me.?

People ask her, “Why do you put up with him?”?

“He makes you wait on him hand and foot, like a slave.” “No man would ever treat me that way.” She just looks at them dumbfounded and says, “what way?” You see, She started doing this all on her own, I do not make her do these things, she does them out of love and concern for her other half, just as I do. For example I have heard her say a few times, “He would either die of thirst or starve to death without me”, and she's right, I was unhealthily skinny when I first met her. I have always been the type of person who eats only because I have to, not because I want to. I do not seek out food or drinks, and could take it or leave it, and pretty much eat whatever is put in front of me, and usually only what is put in front of me, and all of what is put in front of me. Andra sees that half of her is in need of sustenance and she feeds me. She also shops for me because I don't like to do that either, and she buys me cloths that she likes to see me in, and sometimes she dresses us to match. And I just smile and let her have her fun. If it makes her happy it makes me happy.?

They two are no longer two, but one flesh.?

Our marriage does not have guys night out, or girls night out. Neither of us have demanded this of the other it is by mutual consent. If Andra is not invited, then I am not invited, and vice a versa. If Andra is not going! I'm not going, if I'm not going she is not going. How can I split myself in half and my right side go out while my left side stays home? Someone asked me one time, “but what about your friends?” And I said “I don't have any friends” and they said “what? Not even one?” And I said “oh yeah I do have one……………her name is Andra.” But then I think oh wait I actually have two the other ones name is…………….Jesus!

And it was written over two thousand years ago in the book of Mark chapter ten. “They two are no longer two, but one flesh.”?

Now let's take a look at another ancient text, this one even older than the first one. It is titled “The Song of Solomon” or “Song of Songs”. It is found in the last section of the Hebrew Tanakh known as the Ketuvim, and is also a book of the Old Testament in the Bible.?

It was written in that ancient text In the second chapter verse sixteen “ My beloved is mine, and I am His” and again in the?

Sixth chapter verse three I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine.

When we were teenagers and dating, Andra went to a mall in Charlotte North Carolina and purchased two long sleeve sweat shirts (it was cold at the time) a red one for herself and a blue one for me. Without even realizing it she had them put this ancient text on the back of each shirt, using only a single word on each shirt. But, How did she do that you may ask?

On the back of the red shirt in bold letters she had them print the word Andy’s, and on the back of the blue shirt she had them print the word Andra’s.?

I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine,

?My beloved is mine, and I am his.?

When we were together people would smile and giggle and say, “Awwww! How cute are you two!” But, when we were apart people would read it and not understand and ask what it meant. One time someone asked Andra “what's Andy’s? Is that a new restaurant I need to try? Where is it?”

Andra and I have both always loved these verses from the Song of Solomon so when we moved to Florida we found a plaque with one of the verses, and also two large bronze letters an “A” and a “P” and we put them on the central wall in our living room above a plant shelf. (That's the picture accompanying this post) So it reads I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine AP. And the AP is both of our initials Andy Pendleton and Andra Pendleton.

I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine,

My beloved is mine, and I am his.?

They two are no longer two, but one flesh.

Now let's look back at our text, the second chapter verse sixteen in that ancient text in the original Hebrew language it is written Dodi Li V’ Ani Lo.?

Ani Lo means I am His. But before Andra can say, Ani Lo,?(I am his) she must first say as in chapter two verse sixteen Dodi Li which means My beloved is mine. The more she realizes that (I) her beloved belong to her, the more she will give herself to her beloved (me). If she receives my love for her, she will give her love to me. The more her heart can comprehend Dodi Li, the more her life will become Ani Lo. If I am hers she will be mine, and that's the secret. It is your Dodi Li that brings about your Ani Lo.

Everything in a good successful marriage begins with Dodi Li, My beloved is mine. The more you fathom what it means that your beloved belongs to you, the more you will give yourself to your beloved. The more you receive their love for you the more you will give yourself to them. The more your heart comprehends “My beloved is mine”, the more your life will become “I am my beloveds”. For it is the Dodi Li heart that produces the Ani Lo life.

So you should make it your goal to fill your heart with the knowledge of Dodi Li and your life will become Ani Lo.

Andra is mine, and I am hers.

Andy is Andra's and Andra is his.

and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.?

I must point out at this time that there are some theologians, scholars, and teachers (rabbis) who believe that the Song of Solomon is?a story or lesson about two lovers, and still others who believe it is about our relationship to God. I personally believe it is both, what I have said above works well with our relationship to our spouses but, it also works well with our relationship to God.

And as some of you may have heard me say before it takes three to make a marriage. And that's another key to a good successful marriage, “It takes three, a husband, a wife, and God.” In our case Andy, Andra, and Jesus!

Blessings to you and yours! And have a great day!

Want more?

Read?

Mark 10:6-8

Song of Solomon 2:16

Song of Solomon 6:3

Genesis 2:20-24

1 John 4:10-19