Success Guilt: The Quiet Weight of First-Generation Millionaires of Color

A THOUGHT LEADERSHIP SERIES BY DR. AERIAL

Ever felt like the only one who “made it”?

The one responsible for elevating the lives of your loved ones?

Carrying the pressure to provide?

Maybe you've heard things like, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’ve changed.”

These are familiar voices for many first-generation millionaires of color, often whispering (or shouting) in the back of our minds.

And they can lead to something known as success guilt.

The origin of success guilt ties back to the concept of “survival guilt”, first coined by Dr. Jeanne Spurlock in 1985. Her research focused on African Americans of middle socioeconomic status or higher, highlighting how success, particularly in marginalized communities, often comes with a psychological burden. In this context, success guilt refers to the emotional weight felt by individuals who’ve made it—whether through wealth, career, or social status—while others in their community continue to face systemic challenges.

Success guilt is a common emotional experience among first-generation millionaires, particularly those from marginalized backgrounds. It stems from the internal conflict between achieving personal success and feeling responsible for supporting family and community. This tension can leave individuals feeling uneasy or undeserving of their achievements.

For many high-net-worth individuals of color, the pressure of being a “first” comes with unique cultural and social dynamics, making this guilt even more pronounced. When you're the first to break through financial ceilings, the expectations can feel endless. You’ve worked hard for your success, but now, instead of just celebrating it, you might feel overwhelmed by guilt and pressure.

For first-generation millionaires of color, this guilt can feel especially heavy. There's a sense of “leaving others behind” as you climb the ladder of success, whether it’s family, friends, or the larger community.

That emotional weight is real.

The discomfort is amplified by systemic issues like racism and inequality, making it hard to fully embrace your success without feeling like you’ve somehow abandoned those still struggling. You might find yourself isolated from the very people and environment that formed you because, let’s face it, your life looks different now. The pressure to provide or “give back” can weigh heavily on your shoulders, even if you’re just learning how to navigate your own new world.

Success guilt can stall executive presence and brand positioning by creating self-doubt and hesitation, making it harder to fully embrace leadership roles and confidently showcase your achievements.

Why Does This Happen?

Growing up, many of us had tight-knit communities where money was scarce, and everyone shared what little they had. Now, with newfound wealth, there’s a disconnect.

Life is different for you. You no longer live in the same environment, and sometimes it feels like you're isolated from the people who formed you.

There's the weight of expectations—whether spoken or unspoken—to support everyone around you, to keep the family afloat, and to not "change" too much, even though your life and experiences have shifted dramatically.

What Can You Do?

1. Get to the Root of Your Guilt Take a moment to reflect on why you feel this way. Are these feelings tied to personal beliefs about money, or the cultural norms you grew up with? Understanding this can help you separate real responsibilities from the guilt you may be carrying unnecessarily.
2. Practice Self-Compassion This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about acknowledging your success as the result of hard work and sacrifice. You deserve to enjoy it. Start small by practicing gratitude for how far you’ve come. It can help shift your perspective and remind you that it’s okay to thrive.
3. Give Back, but Set Boundaries Giving back is important, and many of us feel compelled to help our families and communities. But it’s essential to set boundaries so you’re not stretched thin by guilt-driven obligations. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

More Insights:

• Theodore Schiele – "How to Overcome Success Guilt and Embrace Your Achievements" An award-winning author and altruistic advocate, Schiele offers strategies to move beyond guilt and fully own your success without feeling burdened by it.
• Dr. Masi Njawaya – "Navigating Success Guilt: Thriving in a World of Expectations" Dr. Njawaya delves into the psychological challenges faced by first-generation wealth builders and provides actionable solutions to manage guilt and lead a balanced, fulfilled life.

Critical Questions to Ask Yourself:

1. What part of my guilt comes from real responsibility, and what part comes from cultural pressure?
2. How can I create boundaries that still allow me to give back but protect my mental and emotional health?
3. Am I being too hard on myself? How can I practice more self-compassion?

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

• How do you handle the pressure of being “the one who made it”?
• Have you experienced success guilt and how?

Drop your thoughts in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’ve managed the weight of these expectations.

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