Success & Guilt

Success has its ups and downs. A friend said that whenever she wants to go on trips, she feels guilty that her family cannot go. A successful 25-year-old female noted that when she is at a gathering with her family and family friends, and people ask about her career, she minimizes it since she feels guilty that people older than her are not half as successful as her. A 45-year-old entrepreneur says he has stopped talking about his successful projects to his friends since his movement toward up is speedy. He feels guilty that he has a successful story to share every month while others would have one successful project yearly.

?So, what is success guilt?

?The first thing is to know that feeling guilty about your success is very common. Almost everyone has this experience. We relate to people based on our similarities. When in our career, finances, or any area of life, our success no longer allows us to be like others; we feel disconnected, or others would feel disconnected from us. Some people would want to treat us and deal with us as the person of the past so that they can continue relating to us. But the guilt comes since we are the ones who moved on to the path of success. We are the ones who left the tribe.?

Another type of guilt happens when someone’s fortune becomes higher, their business is doing well financially, or they had a great opportunity or won the lotto. Although they want to help others financially, practically no one can raise everyone else around them to the same financial level. Therefore, they feel bad. Others in their family might even request to be taken care of financially. If boundaries are set or stated that they choose not to support the family member financially, guilt shows up with a vengeance.??

?Someone who is happily married might feel guilty that a friend is suffering in their relationship or even getting a divorce. They might end up saying negative matters about their relationship to make the friend not feel alone and isolated.

?People usually enjoy raising others around them toward success; however, naturally, as you rise on the ladder of life, you will leave some behind. Others who are not growing the same or as rapid might feel jealous, envious, or even happy for the one succeeding but sad that they are not. These emotions that are projected on the successful person also create guilt.

?You fall into this natural trap whenever you experience the need to justify your success or minimize your success.

?What to do with the guilt?

?

Accept it as a normal human phenomenon, but let’s move beyond it.

• Define what success means to you.
• Explore the steps you took to create this success
• Give yourself the right to feel deserving of your accomplishments
• Don’t judge others or see them less than for not having the same accomplishments
• Open the path of success for others – Collaborate, teach, coach, mentor
• No matter how the success manifests itself, experience being equal as a human being to others
• ?Even if you can’t share the result of the success with everyone, share your love and respect toward others

For more observational, assessment skills, and integration please get my book:?Life Reset - The Awareness Integration Path to the Life You Want.?