Success beyond January

Nonsense. Hogwash. Rubbish.

In trying to avoid the word “bullsh*t”, I’m resorting to more palatable synonyms to describe my aversion to New Year’s resolutions.

Why an aversion? Because, every year, billions of people make New Year’s resolutions - promising to eat healthier, exercise more, dump a bad habit, save money, or achieve a long-desired goal.

I’ve done it. You’ve done it. But research shows that 6 in 10 resolvers give up within the first month and 1 in 2 make the exact same resolutions, year after year after year. So now I’m wondering the same two things I wonder every January:

How many of us actually stick to our resolutions? And is the first day of January really the best time to start something new?

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The problem with New Year’s resolutions

The main problem is this: They don’t stick.

One reason is that most resolutions are unrealistic, vague, or too ambitious. We set ourselves up for failure by expecting too much too soon, not having a clear action plan, or relying too much on external (not internal) motivation.

Fact is, we’re constantly making a negative correlation between the strength of our desire and our performance. The more intensely we want it, the less likely we are to achieve it. This is because we focus on the outcome, rather than the process – ultimately overestimating our abilities and underestimating the challenges. Once this happens, anxiety, stress, and overwhelm join the party, drink too much, knock over the furniture and try to impair our judgement and decision-making.

But when we have a moderate (or even low) desire, we tend to focus on the process rather than the outcome and so we can be more realistic, flexible, and adaptable. The result, as you might expect, is calmness, relaxation, and confidence – all of which help to enhance our performance, rather than suppressing it.

Perhaps, the next time you ponder your purpose in life, try ditching the pressure and focus on being more consistent, mindful, and flexible in your actions…while celebrating the results. I’m probably not going to take my own advice here, but you should try it.

If all else fails, you could also try habit stacking, where you link a new habit to an existing one so it’s easier to remember and perform, like meditating before or after brushing your teeth. This way, you’re less likely to end up in a puddle of guilt, frustration, and self-criticism when (not if!) setbacks or stress throw you off-course.

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And as for “new year, new me”?

Why do we repeatedly associate our resolutions with specific dates, rather than our own values and identity? Could it be that we’re too reliant on pressures from society, family, friends and the calendar to make self-directed changes in our own lives? And most importantly, why are we so hard on ourselves? Again, I’m including myself in this.

Some experts suggest rethinking New Year’s resolutions altogether. In other words, instead of one-time promises on New Year’s Day, treat every day as a new opportunity to improve. Sounds cute and twinkly, but it isn’t a new concept. More than a century ago, Italian philosopher Antonio Gramsci wrote, “I hate New Year’s. I want every morning to be a new year for me. Every day, I want to reckon with myself, and every day, I want to renew myself.” That’s pretty savvy, for an almost-ancient thought leader.

My two cents??Just try to make every day a new (year’s) day.