"Success is being everything you are"

I have a confession to make. I am a total sucker for quotes - I hoard them like that weird old lady you knew who had 13 cats and newspapers from 1956. If you’ve never bought a packet of McNab’s, you haven’t lived. It’s this cute little packet of booster vitamins you take in the morning, and each packet comes complete with a little motivational nugget like: “Go chase your dreams”, or “A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for”.

The real meaning of success has always escaped me and in this little ramble, if you will permit me, I will attempt to corner it and pin it down, bottle and define my own personal understanding of this elusive thing. In the end it really does boil down to something very personal for each of us.

Some classics from my collection of relics:

Robert Frost says in his poem Stopping by woods on a snowy evening: “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, and I have many miles to go before I sleep”

(Success is a journey, not a destination- that whole thing)

J.R Tolkien:

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost

(Beauty is not skin deep, Success is not material)

My all-time favorite definition of success comes from the film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty: “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life”

Success, to me, has never been about personal gain, beauty or outer trimmings. This is all subject to ruin and degradation. Measuring up, keeping up, fitting in, has never been important.

EE Cummings, for me, really gets to the heart of it when he says: “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”. So herewith my own personal definition of success (feel free to quote me):

Success is a continuing process of overcoming yourself; redefining who you thought you were yesterday, today, and every next day. Being kind to others, and also to yourself, when you don’t feel like it. Inspiring others, and also yourself. Surprising yourself - and others - on a regular basis. Winning someone over with a smile. Living with heart and soul in every act makes you successful from moment to moment. Success is not a pit stop, it’s a life long journey of becoming who we really are.

If you are able to look back at the end of a year and you haven’t changed as a person- you are not able to say to yourself: “Wow, I have done what I thought I could not do – I have been kinder, braver, more confident” - then you have not been successful, in my personal conception.

It becomes especially scary when standing at the precipice of a new year and looking down into the seemingly turbulent rapids, with no other choice but to jump in feet first.

I will leave you with a final quote from the Persian Poet Rumi: “The inspiration you seek is already within you. Be silent and listen”. On the last day of January, I wish you all a happy and successful 2019! May we all have the courage to jump into it with heart and become everything that we are.

Tamar van der Merwe