Succeeding After Military Service

So much of what is published about military transition is about the process leading up to it.

Succeeding after exiting service? Not so much.

I've spent over a year now out of uniform and had a few stumbles along the path, but in the process I have learned about myself and how to do well in this new life.

Today I will talk about a few guiding principles I embrace that have helped me navigate my post-transition life.

Pick Objective Hard

What is Objective Hard? Objective hard is something that is objectively hard by anyone's metrics.

Take yourself back to when you first arrived at boot camp. That is an example of an event that is considered objectively hard by the broad majority of the population. It gave you pride to complete it because it was objectively hard.

For those special operators that went on to even harder things (of which I'm not a member), I can only imagine the pride of completing some of those courses. They're objectively hard, even for people in the military!

After service, finding Objective Hard takes some careful planning and direction.

You could pick a side hobby that is hard. There's a reason so many veterans take to doing martial arts, endurance events, and adrenaline-junkie sports like skydiving after getting out. It provides something that's hard to imitate in the routine and often mundane life of a corporate worker.

Finding something at work that is objectively hard is an altogether different task.

No matter the branch you served in, you had a path within your branch that was harder than others. In the corporate world, or whatever you choose to do in the private sector, that path might not always be there, or at least not clearly identified.

In turn, challenging yourself becomes extra...challenging.

Working in tech sales, I've identified things at work and in my field that I think are hard and go after them.

Some of these include:

• AWS/Cloud Certifications (Pros + Specialties)
• Exceeding the sales quota
• Adding to the overall body of knowledge
• Building reference materials and content for others
• Getting published

Right now these seem difficult to me and to most other people in my field. Later on, they might not be for me personally, but I have some idea of what I want to achieve.

Picking Objective Hard summons the mentality of what likely drove you to serve in the first place. It gives you a challenge and will satisfy you in a way that you will likely need after you depart from service.

Be Proactive

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome. You've had this phrase beaten into your head throughout service and have done so on many occasions.

It's a mindset of proactivity, that whatever may come you'll be able to deal with it. It implies that you won't sit on your hands to solve problems and that you'll take accountability.

Being proactive matters just as much with the uniform off.

It's easy to get complacent and wait for your post-military career to get better over time. After all, it's supposed to be so much easier, right?

That complacency can eat away at you if you don't become proactive.

Being proactive after service means diving into your new life with eyes wide open and being willing to get your bell rung a few times.

You won't be the competent Soldier/Sailor/Airman/Marine you were, and very few people will know you as that person anymore. You'll have a new identity--the new person, the new hire, the veteran. You'll have a skill gap, a language gap, and an overall knowledge gap of your new environment.

It's on you to bridge the gap. Improvise, Adapt, Overcome.

For me, it has looked like this:

• Taking on challenges and customer problems I wasn't prepared for
• Seeking leadership opportunities in and out of my company
• Reaching out to other coworkers to learn and talk
• Seeking mentorship from the A-players
• Not knowing all the answers and relying on others

I won't lie--it's hard for people to not see you for all of who you know you are.

You don't get to wear your story on your clothes any longer.

Take pride quietly in what you did and accept that this is a new life you're forging. Be proactive. Commit to being excellent in this new capacity and I promise you'll be rewarded for it.

Leverage Your Unusual Talents

You didn't have a typical job in the military, even if it says so on paper. You at some point in your career had to do things well outside your scope of daily duties and in the process learned something.

Have you run an investigation? Did UMO training? Served as a CAO? I could go on and on.

You likely have a lot of unusual skills and talents that have accrued over your time in service, and you might be surprised to know that those experiences can be very valuable after service as well.

For example, I spent a considerable time during deployment taking notes and writing reports.

At every shura (meeting) with Afghan politicians and security service members, I had the opportunity to take notes for my Company Commander, and in the process became a solid note-taker.

I became sharp and accurate in my note-taking even though I was writing at 100 mph, capturing names of people, towns, and happenings all across my AO that ended up going into reports for intelligence officers to view.

Never would I have thought that this skill would be so prized by co-workers in my new job, but it is. The most frequent compliment I get is about my notes that go in a report I submit after the close of each customer call. Who would've thought?

I implore you to leverage your unusual talents when you leave service. Look for opportunities to insert your skills into the work that you do, and you might be surprised.

Seek Growth and Mentorship

Some of your fondest memories of service probably revolve around mentors you had while you were in.

For me, it's my first Company Commander. My first NCO. My Battalion FSO. A few others as well. Each one of them had an impact on my development and made me who I was in uniform.

Once you get out, building relationships with mentors is a must.

How else are you supposed to know how to navigate your new job/role/field without guidance?

At the start of your military career, you had a trial by fire with some of your most impactful mentors--your Drill Sergeants. The private sector of course isn't that, but the importance of a mentor to guide you is just as relevant.

We had so much structure in the military for growth and development, and that hierarchical framework provided clarity. In the private sector, there isn't that level of clarity. I don't have regularly scheduled educational development courses I have to PCS to every few years. There isn't a Captain's Career Course, or ILE, or War College (for all you Army folks). I won't get promoted by year group ever again.

There's just me and my own carefully designed curriculum and timeline, and a promotion system that is seemingly arbitrary by comparison.

Having a mentor for me was a primary concern, and I'm lucky I found a few. I found people above me doing the things I want to be doing, as well as A-player co-workers that are doing the kind of work I respect.

This goes back to point #2, but be proactive and seek mentorship and guidance. Don't try to be a hero. You'll struggle without it.

Lend a Hand, Pay It Forward

I'd be remiss if I didn't include this one because it's been by far the most impactful one on this list.

If you separated and did well, you almost certainly had help. And even if you didn't, wouldn't it have been nice?

A phrase I'm ripping out of my vocabulary is this:

"I wish we had more people like that"

I abhor this phrase. It implies no agency to change the things we're dissatisfied with and passes the buck to someone else to complete. It reeks of complacency.

When I left service, I promised those who helped me out that I'd pay it forward and I've done my best to honor that promise.

Reaching back to help fellow service members out in some capacity is one of the most rewarding things you can do post-service. It will be a unifying thread because it provides you a tiny window back into the world you left behind.

Sometimes the small talk, funny acronyms, and motor pool chatter come back and you can forget about the private sector for a little bit. It also provides you a reminder of the things you can be grateful for--no more UAs, PT tests, or other random shenanigans that you almost certainly forget after service.

It's no secret to anyone in my circle that I wasn't happy when I left service.

I always felt like I was operating at 70% or less of what I was capable of, and I passed that anger and resentment off in ways that I'm not proud of.

Through helping others, I've gained a new peace with the life I left behind. I don't feel powerless anymore, in fact, I feel the opposite. I can directly influence the success rate of a service member as they make their exit and be the person I wish I had when I left.

Do not underestimate the impact you have as a veteran on those still serving. It might be the thing that makes your choice to leave service the most rewarding.

And for bonus points, don't limit yourself to just the military pool. You have the opportunity to help out in your community as well and participate in new things that you likely never got involved in while in service.

Embrace that change and seek out places where you can serve. Lend a hand!