The Subtle Art of Workplace Sabotage: Unpacking 'Non-Violent' Violence Against Women

As we mark the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on November 25th, it's crucial to highlight an often-overlooked aspect of this struggle: non-physical violence in the workplace.

This insidious form of aggression doesn’t leave visible scars but can deeply impact women's professional lives and mental well-being.

In the span of my 15-year career journey, I've encountered each of the behaviors listed below at least once, either directly or through the shared experiences of friends. In this article, I aim to highlight five common yet often overlooked behaviours that contribute to a toxic work environment, along with a bonus insight into an unexpected source of such aggression

The Unwanted Personal Inquisition

"Why aren't you married yet?" "When are you planning to have kids?" “Do you have a boyfriend” Questions about personal life choices are not just intrusive; they are a subtle form of undermining a woman's professional identity. These queries, often masked as friendly banter, insinuate that a woman's primary value lies in her personal and family life, not her career achievements.

The Career-Progression Backhand

"You're ambitious for a woman," or "You're quite good at this for a mother." Such backhanded compliments are not just patronizing but also reinforce stereotypical roles, subtly suggesting that women's professional success is an exception rather than a norm.

The Invisible Labor Load

"Can you take notes in this meeting?" The expectation for women to shoulder menial tasks, irrespective of their position, is a form of gendered violence. It undervalues their contributions and expertise, relegating them to administrative roles.

The Achievement Undercut

Women often face scepticism about their accomplishments, with insinuations that their success is due to anything but their merit. Remarks like, "Did you get that project because you're close to the boss?" delegitimize their hard work and talent.

The Emotional Labor Expectation

Women are often expected to be the caretakers of office harmony, tasked with emotional labor that goes unrecognized and uncompensated. This expectation to always be nurturing and supportive, regardless of their own mental state, is a form of psychological burden.

Bonus - The Sisterhood Betrayal

Ironically, one of the most painful sources of workplace violence can come from other women. When women judge or belittle each other based on differences in life choices or paths to success, it creates a toxic environment of passive aggression. This internalized misogyny, often manifesting as gossip or backbiting, not only harms individual women but undermines the collective fight against gender-based violence.

These behaviours are often masked under the guise of humour, concern, or just 'the way things are,' making them harder to confront. But acknowledging and addressing them is a critical step towards creating a more equitable and respectful workplace.

This November 25th let's commit to not only recognizing these subtle forms of violence but actively working to eliminate them. The fight against gender-based violence is not just about physical harm; it's about dismantling the very structures and behaviours that perpetuate inequality and disrespect.