The subtle art of making mistakes

"Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn"

I recently came across this phrase at a webinar that I attended about the pleasure of making mistakes and I simply can't get it out of my head.

When we are at work or practicing a sport or even studying for an exam, we usually want to win. We want to be the best. We invest all of our energies in trying to succeed, in trying to become a high performer in our companies, in winning a match or acing our tests. We try to be superstars.

But what happens when we DON’T win? What happens when things don't go as planned? When we aren't the best? We quickly tend to tag these situations as complete and utter failures, which lead us to feel frustrated, disappointed, angry, or even sad. All of these emotions and so many others are real and truly valid. They are. We CAN feel frustrated when a project doesn’t go as well as we thought it would. We CAN feel disappointed if we don't get that promotion at work. Or sad if our team doesn't win the championship.

The issue isn't about winning or losing. This isn't the real problem. It's about our perception of that situation. It's what we do with that outcome. It’s about getting out there. And this is up to us.

On a personal note, I grew up with the "either you win or you lose" type of motto, so when things didn't go my way, I backed down. Instead of learning from the situation, instead of acknowledging my efforts, instead of embracing those important life-altering lessons, instead of giving it a second shot, I preferred to stop trying. To avoid exposure. To play it safe. My dichotomic mentality limited my work and personal life, even my love life.

I didn’t realize that with my fear of making mistakes, I was losing so many experiences and opportunities. I was missing out on so many chances to learn from those moments and gain new ideas. And this was, after all, a mistake (from my point of view, of course), which now I am learning from. The wonders of life.

Allowing yourself to embrace those moments is one of the humblest decisions one could ever make. It takes courage, vulnerability, and strength to get out there after a so-called defeat. It takes grit, creativity, and determination to continue working day after day and getting back up. We must dare to step into the arena, as Brené Brown mentions, with courage and willingness. ?

Making mistakes is uncomfortable, there is no doubt about that. Nobody likes to lose. Nobody likes to make mistakes. But making mistakes isn’t losing. It is NOT a failure. It’s not about a win or fail situation. It’s about a win or learn situation. It’s about winning and winning some more. You win in modesty and in compassion. You win in resourcefulness and in resilience. You win in perspective and in self-awareness. You win.

And this does not mean that you shouldn’t give your best on your first try. No. Go big. And go big again and again, as many times as you need and want. You may get it right the first time or maybe you won’t. But you will carry these lessons your whole life.

No matter the outcome, your ability to stay humble, embrace your faults and imperfections, and find new creative solutions will help you overcome any challenge in life.

Take them as opportunities to connect with others, to connect with your curiosity, creativity, and strength. Share your experiences, laugh, cry, show yourself, learn from those moments, push yourself and try again. And try harder. ?

As Babe Ruth said, never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

So, let’s play.?