The Subtle Art of Chinese Communication

In the age of rising strategic mistrust between Chinese and the West, I have written some notes to assist foreigners to appreciate how the Chinese communicate.

The Chinese is a high context society with thousands of years of evolution. Foreigners from other cultures will miscommunicate and misread intentions if they are ignorant of the culture and interacts with the Chinese in direct and international style. In modern times, especially when communicating with outsiders and in foreign languages, the Chinese will use a more direct style of interaction, though still unable to fully shake off their deep cultural norms.

As stability and harmony are the most cherished aspirations of society, outright disputes, confrontations and aggression in public are to be avoided at all cost. Even in private, disagreements tended to be coded, toned down and addressed through gentle messaging and careful phrasing. Therefore, the norm is for criticism and contention to be made and resolved in private while praise, unity and consensus are demonstrated in public. This avoidance of losing “face” (mian zi) and public friction is not just unique to China but a deeply embedded feature of Confucian societies.

Here are five idiosyncrasies of Chinese (and Confucian at broader level) style of communication and maintaining relationships.

1) Form First and Final

Chinese emphasizes on establishing mutual respect, cordial chemistry and social hierarchy as an essential pre-cursor, context and container for content discussion.

This is performed through warming up rites and protocols such as introductory pleasantries, congratulatory greetings, showering praise, generous hospitality, "paying respects" based on seniority, food banquets, drink toasting, etc.

These courtesies help to establish professional and personal common ground and are the necessary bridge-building prior to any matter-of-factly discussion and, especially heavy-duty negotiations. At the end of the engagement or meeting, final cordiality would cultivate the tacit wish of a mutually beneficial relationship.

2) Subtle Substance

Chinese, by nature, do not like to appear boastful through obvious self-promotion. Instead they will wait for the guest to praise their accomplishments and strengths and humbly acknowledge them or return the praise. As hosts, they will put on an impressive show to rub off subtle, but deliberate hints that enhances their own “substance”. Examples are showing off their opulent offices, expensive cars, high-level relationships and impressive staff and lavishly hosting guests at costly hotels, restaurants or nightclubs.

3) Cryptic Communications

Chinese do not like to show all their cards during negotiations as that exposes them to the embarrassment of self-interest (transparency is not their forte). Their asks are made with polite, and often subtle requests (vs direct/straight in your face demands) and their rejections can be interpreted with absence of affirmative yes as “no”s are best eschewed.

Communications are conveyed with loaded messages, double-meanings and historic references that requires deep reading between the lines and contextual interpretation. A foreign direct communicator who take words at face value will miss most of the hidden meanings that becomes lost in transit.

4) Deliberate Deception

While Westerners apply the scientific game theory to guide their competitive strategy, the Chinese use the ancient Art of War and analogical 36 Stratagems to plot their victory. Deception is arguably the most critical element of Chinese strategy.

The fine art of communications, whether spoken, visual, unsaid or tacit, can be designed to confuse, if not, deceive the other party and gain an upper hand whether during political negotiations or commercial competition. Confusion would put the other side on the defensive, subjecting it to miscalculation and vulnerability to unexpected offensive moves.

5) Reciprocal Relationship

Like everything else, Chinese tends to be strategic in their relationship building. And in a society that has traditionally lacked rule of law, personal relationships and trust networks are the keys to doing commercial business or rising in officialdom; hence the importance of trusted relationships or “guanxi”.

Individual transactions and deals can lopsided as a form of exchanging favours, maintaining patronage and cultivating trust but are building blocks to long-term relationships. As more and more favours are exchanged, both parties are absorbed into each other’s inner trust circle.

On the balance, the more junior party has to subjugate to higher interests while the senior patron has to reward loyalty with generosity of status, riches and privileges. This can be manifested in all kinds of relationships such as leader over subjects, larger corporations over small suppliers, China over its neighbours, elder over younger family member, etc. Ideally, this win-win relationship will play out over the long time, with each party having his fair share and neither perceived as exploiting one another.

It will be useful for foreigners to appreciate and play to these cultural traits to enhance their chance of successfully negotiating and developing mutually rewarding relationships, and most crucially, avoiding strategic mistrust with the Chinese.

This article is referring Chinese to native Chinese people and not the ethnically Chinese overseas diaspora, who would have harmonised their communication style with local norms over time. Subsequent generations of overseas born Chinese are more likely to be culturally aligned in communication style to their adopted homelands than to China.