The Subtle Art of Not Being Optimistic

Many people believe that the path to success is to create and firmly stick to an optimistic perspective. This belief in the power of positive mindset conveyed with varying degrees of intricacy certainly implies that you might be able to make significant strides, even enhance your health and well-being, by warding off “negative self-talk”.

The notion that you could be happy if you simply choose to be has been integrated into our classrooms, workplaces, and military to enhance performance, coping abilities, and mental health. Many self-improvement books would advise you that you can overcome life’s currents with a positive mindset and perseverance.

Keeping a positive mindset is nothing new. Preachers and spiritualists have been discussing on its virtues for over a century and a half. Today, it is easy to forget that ancient Roman and Greek philosophers such as the Stoics and 19th-century scholar Arthur Schopenhauer reasoned that positive mindset is simply a recipe for frustration and disappointment.

Sportspersons count on positive mindset; imagine yourself hitting the winning runs and you are more likely to actually do it come game time. Scores of research works support this with anecdotal evidence, in interpersonal relationships and businesses as well as in sports.

Understanding What Positive Mindset Actually Is

Positive mindset is the notion that you could transform your life by thinking positively about the consequences every time. Your explanatory style is how you explain the reason behind the occurrence of the events.

People having an optimistic explanatory approach tend to credit themselves when things work accordingly, yet usually put blame on external forces when things go south. Also, they tend to perceive negative events as atypical and temporary.

On the flip side, people having a pessimistic explanatory approach generally curse themselves when anything bad happens, yet fail to appreciate themselves for favorable outcomes. Also, they have a tendency to see negative events as expected and long-lasting. Perhaps, blaming yourself for events beyond your grip or seeing these misfortunes as part and parcel of your life can severely affect your mental status.

Even if you are not an innate optimist, you are supposed to learn the art of positive thinking mindset and become a positive thinker. One of the stepping stones is to zero in on your sub-conscious and self-contemplation.

So, do you see the glass half-full or half-empty? We see absolutely nothing.

Too Much of Positivity Leads to Chronic Disappointment

The fact is, people sometimes spill over with joy, fill up with remorse, or tremble with anger. Many of us are educated early on to handle these feelings by sharing and rejoicing in the positive ones, while apologizing or repressing for the negative ones. Anyhow, we learn not to dive deeper into our emotions.

We should rather pay a close, yet detached attention to our inner experiences. When leveraged, the stable course of feelings, thoughts, and personal narratives that compose our inner self can become our best teachers. Our feelings uncover what we value the most, and we can then act upon those values to transform into our better versions - curious, stable, resilient, compassionate, courageous, and empathetic.

By spreading the word that our thoughts drive our reality, health, and well-being, we are exaggerating the power of our thoughts, while making people feel guilty when anything sinister happens to them. They bombard their brains with regret because they were not positive enough.

The only thing guaranteed in life is that it will not go the way we want to, at times. You enjoy your work, until you don’t. You are healthy, until you are not healthy. You are the person you love, until you are not the person you love. Unless we can manage, steer and adjust with the entire spectrum of our emotions, we will not learn to be resilient. We must do some exercise confronting those emotions or else we will be caught off guard.

Moreover, emotions such as guilt, sadness, anger, and grief reflect our values. We do not get upset or feel guilty about things we do not care about. We do not get angry about things we do not pay heed to. If we keep these emotions at bay, we are choosing to stay oblivious to ourselves.

If you want to know thyself, learn to accept negativity.

Self-improvement Books Are A Long-established Practice

During the Early Middle Ages, Middle Ages, and Renaissance, Mirror-of-Princes books narrated tales of rulers whose mannerisms should be avoided or imitated. Self-help literature took a giant leap forward after 1455, when Johannes Gutenberg made mass printing affordable and accessible for wider sales. Out of the blue, anybody could jot down their advice for the ideal way to live.

People, in the 1800s, voraciously followed the advice on parenting, time management, and success; no psychological subject was considered too hard for a common person to understand. In 1913, GK Chesterton scribbled a critical article against the prevalence of these self-help books. He hoped that at least we should all live to see these absurd books about success covered with proper neglect and derision.

His wish has not come true. Just have a look at your book-shelf.

Now, self-improvement is as mainstream as it was in Chesterton’s time, and as a market it has seen mushrooming growth. Self-improvement books stemmed from one culture can be just as prevalent in another. Case in point, The Secret by the Australian author Rhonda Byrne is a top-seller in Iran.

Albeit its pervasiveness, it is tough to conclude if self-improvement books are actually that helpful. Studies reveal that 8 out of 10 self-improvement customers are repeat purchasers, indicating that these books are not doing wonders. (Why would you need another self-improvement book when the last one really helped?) Some experts say that customers of self-improvement books do not go beyond the first 20 pages, if they open them at all. Just the act of purchasing a self-improvement book is reported to make anyone feel better.

Life hurts, and the assurance that self-improvement books give is a dressing on that wound. Life does not come with a user manual, yet you will not really think twice before checking out the next self-improvement book.

Thinking Positive is Not A One-Size-Fits-All Solution

The adoption of positive psychology for the armed forces and business management has helped the concept become a mainstay in popular culture. However, as it gains momentum, it has been subject to greater criticism.

Have you ever tried to convince yourself that you would be able to stick to your diet plan because this time you are indeed motivated? That you would ace the job interview and get recruited instantly?

At times, such beliefs are backed by the data points – delightful responses from others, and constantly healthy attitude. Yet, at times, we endure unfavorable outcomes that do not resonate with our predictions. If we try to navigate through life with a positive mindset, what about when things go awry?

When beliefs and expectations mismatch, we get frustrated, confused, and dismayed. That is why positive mindset is so limited. It often seems inauthentic and forced and works only when we experience what we desire.

In the recent past, critics showing concerns that this oversimplified form of positive psychology can make things worse. It is the tyranny of the positive attitude (TPA), implying that people nowadays have little tolerance for those who cannot see the bright side in the face of misery. Even when people are profoundly affected by their hardships, they are asked to overcome their remorse within days or weeks, if not sooner.

Having a positive mindset can be a way to prevent necessary action. People may say everything is fine even when it is the opposite and keep away from fixing the issues in their lives. There is an overblown and widespread confidence in the power of positive thinking, including the misconception that people can eliminate illness with optimism.

Just Live, That’s All

Now you must be thinking about whether you should live positively or negatively. The ideal way to go through this life is to understand that there are no simple solutions to the adverse situations you encounter, especially the all-around and current pursuit of happiness. Above all, people have to comprehend that it is absolutely fine with feeling dismayed when life takes dark turns.

A tincture of pessimism is essential in shaping your future. Defending pessimists tend to get anxious significantly about upcoming stressors including, major exams, or job interviews, and they overstate their odds of failure. Yet this anxiety augurs well for these people, as they enable them to be better prepared.