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One of the most common questions I'm getting from folks right now is how to manage the overwhelm and disruption of our current crisis. I hope my first article below is helpful. - Tiffany

How To Manage Pandemic Pressure

by Tiffany Dufu

My life’s work is to advance women and girls. If you can get to a point in your journey where you’re clear about why you’re here it makes life a lot simpler, but life is anything but simple right now. Women are in a career crisis and are falling behind. Lean In & McKinsey report that 1 in 4 women are leaving the workforce due to job loss and caregiving needs. For the ones that stay, 70% fear their career growth may be limited. Years of progress toward equal pay and gender diversity are already starting to slip, as women returning to work will find themselves at a salary deficit. 

As someone who relentlessly pursues one goal—to help foster a world in which women’s gifts and voices are fully harnessed for the benefit of all of us—to say I’m concerned is an understatement. As founder and CEO of The Cru, I connect with a lot of women, and many of them are drowning in overwhelm, largely because their expectations about what they’re supposed to accomplish in any given day are frankly impossible. Layer on the demands of inconsistent school schedules and the new additional role of teacher, it’s all too much. Given my passion and purpose to advance women, it’s my responsibility to help us get through this challenge. My two most important recommendations? Get clear about what matters most to you and get help.

 Get clear about what matters most.

If there is any silver lining to this crisis, it’s that it has forced all of us to reckon with the meaning of our lives in new ways. In my book, Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less, I write about the importance of clarifying what matters most to us so that we have a filter for managing the demands we face. Usually when I ask women “What matters most to you?” they rattle off parts of their lives. They’ll say, for example, “my family,” “my career,” or “my health.” The core question to ask ourselves is, What do I hope to achieve in relationship to these areas of my life? My own career is important to me, but what matters most is that I’m advancing women and girls. My marriage is important, but what matters most is that I’m nurturing a healthy partnership. My kids are important, yet what matters most is that I’m raising conscious global citizens.

Once you’re clear about what matters most, you can take stock of your to do list in a new way by asking, Does doing XYZ ladder up to what matters most to me? If you’re having a difficult time determining what matters most to you, I encourage you to do a funeral visualization exercise made popular by Stephen Covey in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Imagine a friend, family member, and co-worker eulogizing you at the end of your time on this earth. What would you want them to say about the impact you’ve made? It’s also a powerful reminder that during this moment when so many souls have been lost to COVID-19, you have the power to decide what you’ll do with your one wild and precious life.  

Ask for help.

Working woman martyrdom is so yesterday and so is any semblance of perfection. Our anthem for this moment: I'm Not Your Superwoman.

The first step is tackling the overwhelm at home. Adapt this Management Excel Worksheet (MEL) in collaboration with your family to redistribute responsibilities. Most important, use the “No One” column to agree on what won’t get done. In my own household there will be no dusting, folding, or mail sorting until 2021. When my kids complain about wrinkled clothes I tell them, “Don’t talk to me. Talk to MEL.” If your kids are too young to chip in, let the chores pile up and forgive yourself. If you don’t have dependents or you live alone, just move into one room that you keep clean and let the rest go.

Step two is tackling the overwhelm at work. This is the moment to perform Jiu-Jitsu delegation with your boss through a conversation that starts something like this: “Hi Tony, I know you’re under pressure to deliver our Q4 numbers and I want to be a part of helping us to hit it out of the ballpark. I’m most effective when I’m client facing, but with everything going on I’m getting bogged down with XYZ. Are you open to talking about how I can reshift my priorities and even drop some things to ensure we nail Q4?” Trust me, Tony will thank you. 

Step three: find your Cru. Every woman needs a diverse group of individuals to inspire and hold her accountable for executing on everything above. To be constructive, your Cru should be more intimate than your co-workers and more objective than your friends. It’s critical to connect on a regular basis and to chart each other’s progress. I founded The Cru because for many busy women, networking is another chore. We match circles of women who collaborate to meet their life goals. If you don’t have a Cru, click here to apply. After we match you, we’ll also provide your Cru the content, tools, and resources to get through this storm.

Women are disproportionately bearing the brunt of the current crisis, but everyone will suffer if our talent and ingenuity is stifled. One of my favorite quotes is by Ashlecka Aumrivani who wrote, “We keep waiting for the right time. The time keeps waiting for the right us.” Many of us are waiting for the pandemic, the recession, and this election cycle to be over to resume our paths. Your time is now to forge a new one. Your time is now to get clear about what matters most, get the help you need, and realize your potential.

I’m here to help you every step of the way.