Subject line: I Have ADHD (Sorry) - Now What?

Maybe you've been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and this is you:

• The thought of disclosing ADHD at work feels like something you'd only do if you had no choice. It feels shameful, like admitting you can't do your job.
• You don't want to take medication until there's a 'good time' at work, because what if it affects your work?
• You've heard about employers making reasonable adjustments, but don't know what this actually means. You also have no idea what adjustments could help if you see the problem as you.

Being diagnosed might feel even worse, because what are you meant to do with this information now? It may still feel like something you are instead of something you have. Knowing there's a reason for your brain feeling like it's on fire most of the time doesn't necessarily give you the tools for managing it - it just tells you the cause of the fire. How do you explain this in a workplace setting?

Maybe you collect evidence, trying to figure out how to 'disclose' your ADHD in the least awkward way possible. You go to your companies' events on diversity and inclusion, but are no clearer on what you're meant to do. You find policies on the intranet talking about disability, but does that count as ADHD?

As you debate it, time passes quickly. It feels like almost too long has gone to bring it up now, but you're struggling more than ever. You write drafts of emails your brain won't let you send:

"Hi, I hope you're well! I'm just letting you know I was diagnosed with ADHD a month ago. Sorry I didn't let you know earlier, but I wasn't sure whether I needed to tell someone? Sorry for any inconvenience, but please let me know if there's anything I should do next - '

You feel like maybe you should be doing well at work before disclosing it, because otherwise it might look like you're using it as an excuse. What if they say having a condition where you can't focus means you can't do your job, and you get fired?

Maybe your manager mentions your poor time management one day, and you seize your chance, mentioning that it's related to your ADHD. You wait for them to gasp and tell you what to do next, but they say nothing. You wonder if maybe they misheard you. Maybe you didn't even say it. You stay in your vortex of overthinking whether something was meant to 'happen', worrying about what your manager will do with this information.

Terrified about losing your job either way, maybe you fall down Reddit and Google vortexes, finding out about Access to Work. You have to put down the email address of someone at your work, and so have to tell your manager again.

'Hi, I found this Government funding that can pay for coaching on my time management issues - you shouldn't have to do anything at all, but they've asked for a contact so I've just put you, I hope that's okay! No worries if not!'

Your manager says they will speak to HR, and you start having panic attacks at work, so are allowed to work from home when this happens. You're referred to Occupational Health, which feels like having an exam on whether you're 'disabled' or not.

You spend hours agonizing over just how much to share - enough to make clear that help could maybe be sort of useful in just making you a bit more productive, maybe, but not so much that you're fired for being unable to do your job. You don't want it to seem like you're asking for special treatment.

The report posted to you says that you 'could' be disabled, and things such as flexible working might help. Nobody speaks to you about it, and you're definitely not going to bring it up again. Six months later, you're granted funding from Access to Work for coaching, dictation software, and a standing desk, but you're too embarrassed to ask your employer to pay for this and claim it back, so you simply don't use it. Your performance gets worse, and you end up losing your job.

This is what can happen when there are no processes in place to support a person with disclosing health conditions impacting them at work.

The situation above is fictional, but I hear elements of it on a daily basis from people with ADHD.

Here are the legalities:

• You’re disabled under the Equality Act 2010 if you have a physical or mental impairment that has a ‘substantial’ and ‘long-term’ negative effect on your ability to do normal daily activities.
• Legally, employers must support a person with a disability at work with any 'substantial disadvantages' caused by their impairment.
• This is called making 'reasonable adjustments', but only an employment tribunal can decide what is reasonable. Generally, the bigger an organisation is, the more they'll be expected to do.
• The responsibility to ensure adjustments are made, including funding them, is on the employer.?
• This applies once the employer knows or could reasonably be expected to know a person is disabled (e.g performance issues suggesting disability). A formal medical diagnosis is not legally required.?

Having ADHD can feel like your brain is on fire, because you can overthink all of these possible scenarios, but you can't verbalize your needs.

When a disability like ADHD is invisible, it can be extremely challenging to ask for help, especially because of the fear of simply being told, ‘no’.? Evidence from ‘Legally Disabled?’ shows how stressful and demoralising it is for disabled people to constantly have to ask for and justify adjustments.?

Being diagnosed can be like Harry Potter being told he's a wizard, but has to live with the Dursley's for another year. There's help out there for the challenges he's experiencing, he finally knows there's a 'reason' for it, but he still can't access it. The Dursley's couldn't help him, because they couldn't relate - and they were scared of being turned into pumpkins.

In the workplace, this can be addressed by:

1. Having a clear, accessible policy in place explaining what happens when someone talks about a health condition at work.
2. Giving managers training on spotting and talking about signs of health conditions impacting their employees at work in a reassuring, collaborative, and supportive way.
3. Being transparent and clear with individuals in these positions, including explaining practicalities such as time frames and confidentiality, and above all, including them in conversations without expecting them to know all of the answers. Having too many conversations is better than having too little, and keeping a written record of support and changes helps everybody to be on the same page.
4. Remembering this isn't a 'one time' thing: it's a journey. Our needs change over time, and support might not work out as hoped, so it's important to keep checking in and ensuring people feel confident in reaching out if needed.

Trust underpins all of this. Trust in the person asking for help, in the process to provide support, and in the vulnerability of having conversations where nobody knows all of the answers.

If someone discloses ADHD in your workplace, please remember that it's likely been extremely difficult for them to do so. Not only can getting a diagnosis be cripplingly painful both emotionally and financially, but to have the experience of seeking out help in a professional setting can be even more terrifying.

To learn more, visit ADHD Works , or book an introductory call here .