Are students really entitled? Or is something else going on?

You know what I'm hearing A LOT?

That our current batches of students are different to PC (pre-Covid) students.

And when I say different, I mean some things are the same, but some things are WAAAY magnified... like what some are calling the ‘entitled attitude’ of students.

Now while that may be the case for some students, from a human behaviour perspective, it’s not that at all... let me explain why.

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?TRAUMA... it's a big word and mostly when we think of it, we think of things like war, abuse, accidents etc.

But trauma takes on many guises.

And that's because the worst thing, the 100 out of 100 worst thing that's ever happened to you is your trauma... no matter whether that was being a part of something ‘traditionally horrific’, or if it was that you never got a pony for your birthday. And that means we all are carrying it.

Trauma also has this sneaky way of stunting our adult development. In fact, trauma most often totally blocks and stops it.

So why is this important to know?

Well, along the adult development pathway there are four distinct stages:

1.???Reliance

2.???Rebellion

3.???Results

4.???Realisation

And each of these stages can be expressed in either a useful (aka resourceful) or an unresourceful way, let me explain.

Reliance

Think of babies. They are totally reliant on others for everything. This is useful/required for their very existence.

Now think of the capable ‘adults' that can't do anything for themselves. They remain reliant on parents or partners for everything! Nothing about this is helpful for them, for others or for the greater good.

Rebellion

These are your rebels with or without a cause. When expressed unresourcefully, it shows as causing trouble for no good reason. Rebellion expressed resourcefully shows up as standing up for what you believe in.

Now parents you might think this is your teenagers, but this Rebellion stage is helping them to know and understand boundaries - what's acceptable behaviour, what's not, and all about consequences. When managed well, it's a perfect way to help your teens move forward into the next stage...

Results

Expressed resourcefully, this is all about getting shit done. So think about young adults creating their future – getting the job/promotion, getting married or partnered up, just getting. Expressed SUPER resourcefully, it’s creating good outcomes that serve more than just ourselves… This is why volunteering feels so damn awesome.

Unresourcefully, it’s get shit done at ANY cost – human, environmental, social – all to create personal outcomes. These are the ‘walk on your grandparents grave to get the outcomes’ types. The companies that rape the land to appease shareholders, exploit employees - that's unresourceful results.

Realisation

This one is different. There's no unresourceful expression of realisation. This stage is one very few achieve, but many aspire to. Think Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Jesus or Buddha.

Their challenges are global rather than personal. They've gone beyond the everyday and into the realm of the extraordinary.

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Now when trauma hits, that's the exact point where our development can get stuck or totally blocked.

It's why we see adults stuck in reliance, seemingly incapable of doing much of anything for themselves, being rebels without a cause or stuck in the perpetual ‘give me, give me, give me MORE!’

Covid, for many, has also been that 100 out of 100 worst thing that’s ever happened. Which is why we're now seeing 17 and 18 year old students acting more like 13 and 14 year olds...

Because three years ago when ‘the nonsense’ started, these students were somewhere in that area between reliance and rebellion, and then WHAMO! everything stopped.

Which is why providers are finding more students saying “NO! F YOU” when told to do something or are handling more child-like young adults that melt down or activate 'tantrum mode' at the first sniff of trouble.

So what can we do?

Well, we need to help these young people move through the adult development pathway, or they can get stuck in these unresourceful states.

That means more effort from us, the providers, to support our students and young people along the pathway with personal development training that specifically targets their growth into ‘adultness.’

It means, like BUPA recommends, more preventative wellbeing programs, and like the Victorian Coroner’s Prevention Unit suggests, creating partnerships to overcome the prevalent ‘we’re not mental health providers’ attitude that they found.

For me, as a human behaviour expert, it’s also about creating a depth of understanding for ourselves, our teams and staff about what’s going on for students so that we can also respond in resourceful ways, rather than making assumptions, and importantly, learning how to manage their challenges in a way that empowers and grows the individual.

?Anita van Rooyen is a Human Behaviour expert and the founder and director of Confidence Hackers. Anita was recognised by the IEAA in 2021 as a recipient of the Excellence in Innovation Award for Confidence Hackers’ preventative and proactive mental health programs and events.

Join us at the COME ALIVE! PR Retreat for Student-Facing Staff (19-20 Sept 2022) where we’ll be deep-diving into making sense of the weird things that students do.