Stuck with a bad boss? Here's a survival guide.
Abhigyan Chand
Content Strategy | Editorial | Social Media | Ex-LinkedIn, News Corp VCCircle, Meesho
(Editor’s note: Are you facing a vexing issue at work? Do you feel like you're hitting a career dead end? Does work-life balance sound like a myth? WorkplaceWise, which brings actionable advice from top HR leaders, is your cheat sheet to all such posers. Got a question? Leave a comment below, or send your questions to [email protected].)
You Asked: I would like to get suggestions on how to handle a manager who: is afraid of their position; steals the team's credit; doesn’t cascade important business information; doesn’t discuss any decisions; tries to control; and doesn’t let team members communicate with other teams. — Arthi Maddala
Expertspeak: Prabir Jha, Founder & CEO, Prabir Jha People Advisory
You have the quintessential nightmare: having a very poor manager! Unfortunately, you are not alone. There are thousands of people who have to suffer such leadership every day. Rather than make specific and possibly overlapping suggestions, I will share wider, and hopefully more comprehensive, advice.
1) Some managers have never had useful coaching as they rose through the ranks. They typically got promoted for pure left-brain task deliveries. It is thus possible that this is their amblyopic behaviour arising out of a sheer blind spot. The first thing is to choose the right moment, usually not the first thing in the morning, and ask if you could bring up some issues that are bothering you. You could hope for psychological safety but it’s better to start with polite caveats. Use more balanced, mature expressions rather than a deluge of catharsis. If the person is willing to listen and asks for specific examples, do share. The issues are many, so stay succinct. The manager may indeed listen and appear surprised, or may smirk and retort. Or could even offer an apology and thank you for bringing it up and offer to work on the feedback. Basis the response, thank and close. This is not the time to get into a fight.
2) After the first conversation, allow the manager some time to show their response. It may get better, remain the same, or even get worse. If it becomes better, do take a moment to thank and compliment. A positive reinforcement does wonders to sustain changes in behaviour. However, if it stays the same or gets worse, do let them know that things are not getting better. You could even let them know that you may need to reach out beyond them for relief.
3) Speak to the boss’ supervisor. Share the efforts you have made to surface these issues and why you are appealing for advice and possible intervention. Again, responses from this level could vary. You have to give them some time to intervene and see if things get better. If they seem to be indifferent, you will need to think of either formally blowing the whistle or seeing the HR with a formal complaint. Depending on the practised culture, these are effective or ornamental.
“Careers are not likely to grow working with poor managers, nor would such leadership behaviour coach you for the future. If your organisation has a policy of advertising jobs internally, explore them.”
4) If the various levels in the system are able to respond adequately, things will get better. But if not, you need to use this situation to build your own resilience. Also, use the circumstances to reflect on your own strengths, limitations and sensitivities. Are you being overly sensitive? Could you be doing something inadvertently that's making the manager hold you back? Ask for feedback from friends and peers. We may get wiser discovering our own blind spots. We may also build greater maturity in dealing with situations that may not always go our way.
5) Get ready to move beyond this toxic manager. Careers are not likely to grow working with poor managers, nor would such leadership behaviour coach you for the future. If your organisation has a policy for advertising jobs internally, explore them. Some companies allow you to apply in confidence; others through the current manager and subject to having finished some mandatory period in a role.
6) Finally, if your organisation has no opportunities for you beyond this manager (by policy constraints or role alternatives), quit both the manager and the firm. Many feel that such actions may mean discounting the compensation or title. That is the choice to make. Life and career are not easy, gentle upward slopes. Bite the bullet. A small shift down may be better and get your spirits up. And you could throttle up again. Otherwise, you know the nightmare you are living. But as you pick the next assignment, don’t just be lured by the title, the brand, or the salary. Research adequately your manager-to-be.
There are no easy ways out of swamps. A toxic manager is a swamp. It needs you to build courage, optimism and perseverance. Played right, you will move beyond them him, internally or externally. Your candid conversation may even help the manager become better at their job.
Looking for workplace advice from the pros? Leave a comment below, or send your questions to [email protected] and we’ll take care of the rest.
Owner
2 年Never let the superior know you are not pleased w his management. Why should you be the sacrificial lamb. People wEvil in the heart will never change. Instead pretend he is a Flower shop ballon floating thru the sky to another Galaxy and smile as if you r subservant.Never let him know any good things u do as he will twist and take credit . Let his bosses find out later as he will drag the business down elsewhere and get caught unless his bosses planted a dumbbell below them so they can rule unchallenged. Either way no one is going to help you so just detach from them collect you pay and stay out of way or get out.Happy Halloween.
Passionate Trainer II HR Advisor II CHRO II Sr. Consultant II
4 年Nice insight... Do you really think that last lines actually possible!!
Marketing Professional, and Entrepreneur. Expertise in Luxury Beauty, Fashion, Wellness and Yoga. Bespoke wellness events for businesses / Yoga Teacher /Mentor /Believer in empowering individuals, especially women
4 年Having a bad boss can be life altering. We spend so much time at work, hence if the environment is toxic due to a “bad boss”, it can shift the way you think about yourself. I tell my students in yoga class to know the difference between pain and discomfort. If you feel discomfort, there are adjustments you can make - but if it becomes real pain, whether it’s a yoga pose, a relationship or a job, get out immediately. We need to value ourselves, our self worth and our self esteem before they become destroyed. I have had horrendous and malicious bosses, and also had absolutely wonderful ones (thank you Charlotte Broadbent DipM ACIM for standing out) out!),
Board Member at CYMASPACE
4 年In my almost 11 year career in retail, this is a topic that comes up the most. I’d love to hear how to handle this in a retail environment.
People, Process and Delivery Excellence | Strategic Leadership | Operations Leader | Avid reader, listener and thinker |
4 年This is absolutely relevant in the current scenario where people have seen rapid growths owing to them being in the right place at right time and not much because of their leadership skills or abilities. Though the tips given here helps the individual, there are steps organizations must take to correct such spread of toxic culture. Else it will have a long term effect on the organizational climate. People who stay back will only be the ones with a similar mindset as that of the toxic manager and this will have devastating effect on the teams.