Stuck

Stuck. What a horrific feeling. The walls are closing in and the ceiling is only 4ft high. You have no windows or doors. No way out. You are stuck. Really and truly stuck.

You are so stuck in fact, that you develop a sort-of "stuck blindness". No one can tell you that you are not stuck. No one. You'll gladly chatter on about your stuckness to the nice man who just came through the big door (...the door right in front of you with no locks and a flashing exit sign). You will shake your head in disgust of the woman who effortlessly jogs past you and waves through the window (...the same window that you've been staring out of while dreaming of how nice it would be to in fact... have a window).

Yep. You are stuck. Stuck. Stuck. Stuck. 

In fairness, it is easy to feel stuck. Life is difficult. You plan for it meticulously. You do all of the "shoulds", avoid the "should nots", and then when you least expect it - life kicks you square in the teeth.

You fall down. You get back up. You're proud. You're a tenacious warrior. You were raised on a breakfast of Wheaties and learned how to fight with Karate Kid. You high five yourself and even add a celebratory fist bump. You've got this. You've met the challenge. You've aced the test. Nothing is going to stop you. Just then, you turn around with your confident swagger and CRACK!! -another kick in the teeth. 

While the "getting back up" part is difficult the first time...it is excruciating the 34th time. 

Some days - only my pillow understands. My inner monologue is priceless as it escalates to a full on tantrum inside my head.  

I try so hard. I try day and night to make things happen. I try harder than anyone I know (now I mentally begin to list everyone I know who is - by my estimation - not trying ...or at least in that exact moment they aren't trying... not trying even one little bit ...) 

I deserve awards for the amount of crap I put up with everyday. Minimally flowers. Yeah - flowers every day. Why can't I have flowers every day - and a bodyguard to protect me from the cruel world? It doesn't have to be a bodyguard - I'd settle for an escort. Safety in numbers. I'd be fine with an escort. But no.... Life isn't fair. It just isn't fair.  

If life were fair, I wouldn't have been berated by HER (insert my pick for the wicked witch of the day with no falling houses in the forecast).  If life were fair, HE (insert my lethargic villain of the day) would work just as hard as I do.

Why doesn't anyone understand me? Why can't anyone communicate effectively? Why is everything so freakin' hard?  

Who hasn't felt stuck? Too many gates - not enough keys. Everyone is against you. (Yes! Everyone!) It's even easy to suspect that the gatekeepers work solely on commission and the visible/audible evidence they secretly collect of how miserable you feel after you have been adequately "handled" is in direct proportion to the fat bonus check they are now anticipating. 

But...

Stuck is an illusion.

The truth is, life isn't standing around with a bouquet of flowers waiting to escort you (or anyone else...) through the door every day. Someone may on occasion hold the door open for you and hand you flowers but you will still have to walk through the door on your own. Some days you will have to be the one to pick your own flowers. Other days, a malicious Venus Flytrap will be waiting for you to walk through the door while wearing his shiny Olympic Gold Medal for sprinting.

...and the gatekeepers? They aren't getting commission. Most likely - they are having the same mental tantrums you are on a weekly basis because they have also been kicked in the teeth one too many times. 

Sure, bitter people and unforeseen circumstances can add to your feeling of stuckness but at the end of the day, the only one who is stopping you - is you.

You are not stuck. There is always another way.

So...

Fall down. Get up. Fully expect that this won't be the only time you get knocked down (because it won't!). Own your role in whatever unfolds. 

Knock, push, pull, ask. (Heck, buy the gatekeeper a coffee from Starbucks!)

Then?

Walk through the door. Skip through the gate. Crawl through the window.

Whatever it takes...

Don't forget to pick flowers for yourself and others every chance you get... and on days when you catch a glimpse of light bouncing off that Venus Flytrap's Olympic medal - just remember you learned to fight from the best. "Wax on. Wax off." You've trained for this your whole life. You've got this.

This Is Your Life. Create It Your Way.