Stuck or Growing: The Art of Knowing When to Move On

Why I’m Writing This

Recently I've been talking to a lot of folks in the tech space who feel trapped and unhappy in their roles. This is for you, I hope it helps.

The Beginning of The End

I’ve been here before. That moment when you start feeling the itch, the urge to move on. It’s not a sudden thing—it creeps in slowly.

Like a balloon expanding into a new, limitless space. When I start a new role, I feel like I’m floating, with room to move in any direction. It’s exciting. It’s full of possibility. Eventually, I come up against the boundaries. I feel myself stretching, pushing against the limitations that naturally happen in any role. It’s not that the company is bad or that I’m not growing—it’s just that growth rarely happens at the same pace for both. The company has its own trajectory, and sometimes, it doesn’t align with where you’re headed or how fast you’re moving.

This article is for anyone who’s felt that same tension—the pull between staying and going, between pushing through or stepping out. It’s messy, it’s frustrating, and it’s never black and white. But there are ways to navigate it without losing your mind (or your job).

There are three things you should chew on before you pop off: Can you change the company? Can you change yourself? Or do you need to change jobs? It’s not about picking one. You need to work on all three. Every. Single. Time.

Can You Change the Company?

Look, sometimes the company is the problem. Maybe they’re stuck in old ways of thinking, resistant to new ideas, or just plain dysfunctional. But before you throw in the towel, ask yourself: Can I change this?

This isn’t about being a hero or single-handedly fixing everything. It’s about figuring out if there’s room for improvement. Can you influence the culture? Can you push for better processes or more support? If you’ve got some leverage, use it. But if you’re banging your head against a brick wall and nothing’s budging, that’s a sign

Here’s the catch:even if you can’t change the company, that doesn’t mean you should immediately bail. There’s still more to consider.

Can You Change Yourself?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes the problem isn’t the company. Sometimes, it’s you. And no, I’m not saying you’re the problem in some toxic, blame-yourself kind of way. I’m saying that discomfort and frustration are often strong signals of a great learning opportunity.

When you’re feeling stuck, it’s easy to point fingers and say, “This place sucks.” But before you do that, take a step back. What can you learn from this situation? What skills or mindset shifts do you need to develop to handle this better?

Maybe you need to work on your patience, your communication, or your ability to navigate office politics. Or maybe it’s about setting better boundaries or managing your expectations. Probably it's a lot deeper and more interesting than that.

Whatever it is, lean into that discomfort. It’s trying to teach you something, even if it's to not get yourself into this situation again.

Do You Need to Change Jobs?

Alright, so maybe you’ve tried changing the company. Maybe you’ve worked on yourself. And maybe, despite all that effort, things still aren’t clicking. That’s when you start thinking about the big one: Do I need to change jobs?

This isn’t a decision to rush into. As the saying goes, fools rush in—but they also rush out. If you’re feeling desperate to escape, that’s a red flag. Desperation leads to bad decisions. You don’t want to jump from one bad situation into another just because you’re itching for a way out.

Take your time. Be strategic. Look for a role that aligns with your values and your goals. And remember: leaving on a high note isn’t about quitting when things get tough. It’s about knowing when you’ve done all you can and it’s time for a new challenge.

It’s Never Black and White

Here’s the thing: if you’re always blaming the company or always blaming yourself, you’re probably stuck in a cognitive distortion. It’s time to reframe and reset. The truth is, it’s rarely one or the other—it’s usually a mix of both.

Office politics? They’re everywhere. Great people and miserable *&#s? Also everywhere. The thing you can change is your approach to them. The better you get at becoming a “people whisperer”—understanding personalities, navigating tricky dynamics, and communicating effectively—the less friction you’ll face. It’s not about avoiding conflict; it’s about managing it so it doesn’t derail you.

And if you’re finding yourself constantly frustrated, that’s a signal too. It doesn’t mean you should bail immediately—it means there’s something to learn here. So before you make any big moves, take a step back and ask yourself: What can I change? What can I learn? And how can I approach this differently?

The Balancing Act: Working on All Three

Don’t just pick one of these options—you work on all three, simultaneously. You try to change the company where you can. You work on yourself because growth is non-negotiable. And you keep your eyes open for new opportunities, but you don’t rush into them. It’s a balancing act. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re making progress. Other days, you’ll feel like you’re spinning your wheels. That’s normal. The key is to stay patient and keep moving forward.

Choose Wisely

At the end of the day, choosing to stay or go is never black and white. It’s a messy, complicated decision that requires self-awareness, patience, and a bit of strategy. But here’s what I’ll leave you with: discomfort is a signal. It’s telling you something needs to change—whether that’s the company, yourself, or your job. So choose wisely. Lean into the discomfort, learn from it, and make your next move with intention. And remember: fools rush in—but they also rush out.

Prompt details for the image I generated for the header of this article:

At twilight, a mystical adventurer stands before the ornate wall of a castle with three beautifully crafted doors. The first door is dark mahogany with gold vine filigree, stained glass showing a sunlit forest, and a brass oak leaf knocker. The second door is silvery metal with starry night stained glass, silver celestial filigree, and a silver star knocker. The third door is ancient stone with a phoenix in stained glass, bronze flame filigree, and a golden phoenix knocker. The adventurer, wearing a cloak and holding a compass, is deep in thought. The scene is bathed in the warm glow of sunset and cool tones of night, in a detailed, fantasy realism style

Steps: 40, baseModel: Flux1, quantity: 4, width: 1216, height: 832, Seed: 4294967295, txt2img, Clip skip: 2, CFG scale: 3.5, Sampler: undefined, fluxMode: urn:air:flux1