Struggling with the negativity that people bring into your life

Did you know that there is a difference between people that get stuck in suffering or misery and those who don’t?

Everyone experiences pain. But sometimes that pain turns into suffering or even misery.

For people struggling with anxiety, depression, cast/ poverty-based stress, or other challenges, it feels very difficult and sometimes impossible to tolerate pain.

As a result, they may attempt to alleviate pain with strategies that ultimately transform that pain into suffering.

When pain turns into suffering or misery, doing what is important to you, making connections, and caring for yourself becomes very, very difficult.?

You can change the situation or leave it. Remember that we are a problem-solving culture in India … and not everything requires problem-solving.

Change how you feel. We recognize that you can’t just get rid of feelings.

You can look at your situation and determine if it’s possible to shift your strong emotions or even add in some uplifting emotions.

Try looking at the situation as if you aren’t the one in it…what would you say to a friend or loved one?

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you ….Accept the problem. While pain is a part of life, a problem keeps that pain from becoming suffering.

Radical Acceptance fully accepts that we cannot change the present situation, even if we don’t like it.

When we try to change things we have no control over, we experience more pain and suffering.

Focusing on what we can control can be liberating and helps us to focus on ways we can cope or take care of ourselves.

Practicing gratitude can assist your mind in taking a willing and accepting stance.

Stay miserable. Don’t do anything. Don’t make any changes. Don’t accept reality. Stay stuck in your unhelpful thinking. It’s a real choice.

This choice, unfortunately, tends to lead to unhelpful urges think sending a nasty text to a friend, increased loneliness, and greater hopelessness.?

Let’s go through an example together. Say your problem is that you’re feeling lonely today.?

You could solve the problem by changing the situation and put yourself in situations where socializing is more likely to occur.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

You could call an old friend, get in touch with a family member, join social groups, volunteer, or initiate conversations with co-workers, neighbors.?

You decide you cannot change the actual problem, so you decide to change your feelings about it.

You start to feel better about feeling lonely after reminding yourself that you have people in your life and they are all busy today.

You also notice you can find joy in spending time on your own because you get to decide to do whatever you’d like!

Using the opposite action skill, you decide to walk down the street and get an ice peach green tea and surprisingly have a really nice time.?

You observe that you can’t solve the problem and can't get yourself to feel better, so you decide to radically, wildly accept that you feel lonely today - and that’s okay.

Your Comments….

You don’t have to hide from this feeling or try to push it away.

You can reasonably connect to it.

You remind yourself that you’re spending the day alone because you didn’t make plans ahead of time.

You choose to stay miserable or decide to make the problem worse.

You get so angry that you’re feeling lonely today that you throw your phone at the wall, and it breaks. Now you really can’t get in touch with anybody and have a broken phone.

Stepping outside of your comfort zone is tough. Whether you take a new class or you apply for a new job, you're likely to experience?anxiety to some extent.

You might make a mistake, embarrass yourself, or fall short of your goal. And that'd be uncomfortable. So in an effort to avoid that discomfort, it's tempting to play it safe.

Living inside your comfort zone is an effective way to dodge anxiety—but living a small life is also a recipe for?depression.

Giving In to Instant Gratification

Whether you eat a few extra cookies, or you can't resist checking how many likes your latest post got on social media every few minutes, instant gratification comes in many forms.

And while giving into temptation will give you momentary pleasure, it will rob you of long-term?happiness. Plenty of research backs this up (including the famous marshmallow test).

So while saving your money, sticking to a healthier?diet and staying focused on a task may seem like torture for a few minutes, they are key to reaching your greatest potential.

Build Your Mental Muscle

Managing your emotions in a healthy way is a key component of mental strength. And it's a two-way street—the more strength you build, the easier it becomes to manage your emotions.

?And the more you work on coping with emotions in a healthy way, the stronger you become.

Attempts to dodge discomfort introduce more misery into their lives.

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