Struggling to Get Your Life Going?

Are you a young adult, say between 20 and 35 or so, and find it really hard to get out on your own? Maybe it's been hard to do well in college, or to hold a job long enough to make real progress toward your independence and future. It can be daunting to know where to start, or start again, after feeling failure from your efforts time and time again. You're not along. The pandemic didn't help. It seemed like it set a lot of people back. The declining economy, closed restaurants, universities reverting to online classes, making it necessary to live with your parents. Jobs fewer and farther between. When you’re struggling to get your life going, small bumps in the road can be like mountains blocking your progress.

Maybe you feel more defeated with every blow, every setback. Until staying with your parents in your family home is just your natural default existence.

Zach could sure relate to the way you may feel. In his case, a series of events kept tripping him up, leaving him discouraged, humiliated, and feeling powerless. He was diagnosed with a chronic illness, Type 1 diabetes, when he was in first grade, and his childhood consisted of special diet, multiple blood sugars daily, occasional hospitalizations, and difficulty fighting infection.

It seemed as though he’d be going along fine with school work, then he’d get sick again from the latest virus, miss a couple weeks of school, then work on makeup work to catch up what he missed.

Over and over.

There was always pressure from school work, managing blood sugars, sickness, and makeup work.

It was hard to find time to just relax and be a kid.

And then life got harder.

His parents’ marriage fell apart following his dad’s infidelity at the beginning of his senior year. He tried to hunker down and hold steady with his classes, but his grades slumped.

Then he just felt abandoned by his parents who were both in a chaotic tempest of anger, betrayal, humiliation, anxiety, and depression. Over the next couple years, he found himself hunkered in his mom’s house, which had always been home to him. Just holding a simple job seemed to be all he could manage. Struggling to get your life going can be an uphill, near impossible quest.

He began to feel fundamentally flawed.

The people he went to high school with were halfway through college now or had jobs on a career path. Zach became more and more reluctant to visit restaurants or other public places where he might run into them. His feelings of shame and failure covered him like a lead blanket.

His mom worked to make ends meet. When she came home from work she was exhausted, bitter, and heartbroken. Zach avoided her. It had been 2 years since his dad left, and it was just too hard to continue being her sounding board.

Zach hadn’t felt supported in years, and he was barely treading water himself. Managing his diabetes in terms of diet, blood sugars, insulin, and doctor appointments was all encompassing. Sometimes he let it slide, and then paid a big price.

His embarrassment about not going to college, and having a menial job…until he got laid off…made it too hard to face friends.

He heard about a job opening at the local auto parts store, and put in an application. He hoped it would give him a chance to excel over time and might be more rewarding than fast food preparation.

Thankfully, he was hired for the job. Surely this could be a new beginning for him. It offered health insurance, which would be a huge help. He felt hope creeping up inside him for the first time in years.

Zach really tried to make this job work. He was on time every day, and worked hard to learn the manuals, protocols and understand the organization of the store.

By the time he’d been there 6 weeks, he was beginning to feel like he was doing a good job and proving himself a valuable employee. His struggling to get his life going just might be paying off. Then, he had to be admitted to the hospital for diabetic ketoacidosis, a condition that sometimes seemed to happen no matter how closely he managed his blood sugar.

He was in ICU for 11 days, and his boss acted like he was skeptical about whether Zach was a good fit for his store.

Then a month later, COVID happened. His boss laid him off, as he could only support a skeleton crew for the store.

And once again, Zach’s hope was crushed.

Zach looked for ways to make income online. He tried one thing and then another. But nothing really panned out.

As weeks turned into months, and months gave way to years, he began to realize he may never succeed at anything. He tried to help his mom out by cooking a meal now and then, doing some laundry… using the vacuum every month or two.

But the longer he stayed home, the less motivation he had to change his life. He just kept trying to get through the days. He read books, watched TV, and posted on Facebook. But he just lost his gumption to get out of the house. He lost confidence that he could accomplish anything.

Eventually he made some online friends and stayed in touch with them. He could be anonymous but feel some sort of connection.

Still, it didn’t change the fact that his self respect was shot.

Zach so wished he knew how to turn his life around from struggling to get it going.

After 2 1/2 years of the pandemic, the world seemed to be opening up and he decided to find some way of improving his life.

He called the boss at the auto parts store to see if he’d hire him again. Nothing came of that.

So he started researching. His symptoms, his disappointments, his failures.

It looked like — from what he learned — that he might actually be depressed.

That had never occurred to him. He’d just felt so ashamed. But apparently he wasn’t alone in his struggle to get his life on track. He researched his symptoms of poor motivation, feeling defeated, always struggling with his health, things happening beyond his control, the stress of his chronic illness, trying to hold a job only to be let go due to hospitalization, and on and on.

He found out he could get help with psychotherapy and possibly even more with ketamine treatment.

It was an eye opener to consider that his feeling of failure was more likely deep and persistent depression.

Was he really struggling to get his life going, or was he too depressed to succeed?

And that maybe, just maybe, with therapy and treatment he could still gain the ability and skills to build a life.

Zach talked to his dad for help with payment and he agreed to help. Zach wanted so much to break out of his “stuck” place in life and build some kind of life he could be proud of. After reading up on psychotherapists in his area, as well as ketamine treatment, he called and scheduled treatment.

Zach had read that there were better outcomes when ketamine treatment and psychotherapy were scheduled in conjunction with each other, so he began therapy, then began to incorporate ketamine infusions. After about 5 infusions, he began to notice changes in his outlook. As they moved forward with infusions and therapy sessions, Zach realized his hope was growing. His courage to reach out for job interviews grew. Finally, he realized he wanted to go to school and study to be a therapist himself.

So he enrolled in the local university and, with his parents’ help, he took a full load to help him earn his degrees sooner.

With the help of ketamine treatment and psychotherapy, Zach laid a new foundation for building his life. The struggle to get his life moving had become more manageable. He decided he was just a late bloomer, and felt deeply grateful for the changes he was able to make, the better footing he established, and that he completed his degree in 3 years. Years that would have just been more hanging out at home without the treatment he had received.

What about you?

Do you feel like you’ve been stuck? Has it felt like you were thwarted at every turn as you tried to build a life for yourself? Did the pandemic make it all that much harder?

If Zach’s story sounds familiar and you’ve been unable to get on track in your life, call us.

Ketamine treatment may give you the boost you need to overcome depression and anxiety, and invest yourself in your future.

We’re here to help you get better and experience the hope to change your life.?

To the restoration of your best self,

Lori Calabrese, MD