Struggling to Find the Right Network? Here’s Why You’re in the Wrong Rooms and How to Find the Right Ones.

People ask me: How do I find and expand my network or find my buyers?

I just had a conversation with a young man early in his career who is looking to expand his network for his sales role. This is not dissamilar to conversations I've had before. He knew who he wanted to connect with, but had no idea where to find them.

If your ideal clients or connections aren’t in front of you, you’re in the wrong rooms. Plain and Simple.

One of the biggest mistakes people make in networking (and sales) is hanging out in spaces that don’t align with their goals. If you’re trying to land enterprise clients, spending all your time with solopreneurs and fresh grads isn’t going to cut it. If you want to connect with local small business owners, Fortune 500 roundtables won’t get you there.

So how do you find the right rooms (and be invited to them).

Be a Detective

• Follow the money. What organizations does your ideal audience support? What events, charities, or groups are they funding?
• Watch where they engage. Where are their teams and execs spending time? What posts are they liking and commenting on?
• Look at who’s showing up. Who’s active in the spaces you want to be in? Who consistently attends key industry events?
• Reverse-engineer the connections. If a group looks interesting, check out who’s sponsoring it, who’s leading conversations, and who’s in their network.
• Pay attention to topics, not just people. It’s not just about who you want to meet—it’s about what they’re talking about. Jump into the right conversations.

Getting in the Room Is Just Step One

Showing up isn’t enough. The biggest mistake people make? Expecting instant results. Networking isn’t a transaction—it’s a relationship.

• Come in without an agenda. Don’t show up looking for a sale—show up looking to be part of the conversation.
• Be consistent. If you’re a one-and-done, you’re forgettable. People notice the ones who keep showing up.
• Bring value. Offer insights, make introductions, support the group—without expecting a return.
• Understand the playing field. If you’re trying to connect with C-suite execs, know they’re getting pitched 24/7. They’re not grabbing coffee with random strangers—but they will notice the person who consistently adds value in their spaces.

Make It Crystal Clear What You Do (and Why It Matters)

Once you’ve built trust, people need to get what you do—and more importantly, why they should care.

• Be specific. Saying “I help businesses grow” is vague. Saying “I help B2B service providers generate high-quality leads without cold outreach” is clear.
• Show, don’t tell. Instead of saying you’re great at what you do, drop a quick example:
• Make it about them. People don’t care about what you do—they care about how it helps them or their network.
• Give a simple call to action. If someone asks how they can help, don’t make them guess:

Are You Making Intentional Introductions?

As you build your network and trust, introductions start to carry more weight—because they’re backed by the people making them.

But here’s the thing: Are you making intentional introductions? Or just tossing names together and hoping something sticks?

Making meaningful connections takes effort. It’s about being a detective—really getting to know people, their goals, and their organizations.

• What do they actually need right now? Not just in general, but at this moment.
• Who would truly help them move forward? Not just someone in the same industry, but someone who solves a real problem for them.
• What’s the bigger picture? Is this an intro that creates long-term value, or just surface-level networking?

The best connectors don’t just introduce—they curate. They take the time to match the right people, at the right time, for the right reasons. That’s how you build real trust.

So, are you being intentional with your introductions? Or just making them to make them?

And Most Importantly: Be Real

People can smell inauthenticity a mile away. If you’re only there to get something, if you’re forcing it, if you don’t genuinely care—it shows.

Real networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building relationships. Find the right rooms, show up consistently, bring value, and let people see the real you.

What’s been your best networking move? Drop a comment, I’d love to hear it.