The Struggle is Real

May is "Mental Health Awareness Month"; an opportunity for us to focus on wellness, challenge stigmas around mental illnesses, and pay a bit more attention to supporting friends, family, and colleagues who deal with mental health symptoms.

Led by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), this month has been dedicated to creating a national movement around mental well-being.

We shouldn't take this effort for granted.

According to CDC data from June of 2020, 40% of American adults - our neighbors, colleagues, family members, and closest friends - struggle with mental health.

And many times, those that struggle are not forthcoming about it. Whether it's due to the basic symptoms of social anxiety, the fear of being judged, or it being too personal, many go about their day without the people they're surrounded by having a clue about these challenges.

Like many reading this, I'm part of the 40% that struggles by mental health. And because I can be an open book at times, here's a little context to my own issues.

I'm genetically pre-disposed to mental health illnesses (...thanks, mom and dad...) and I have been medically diagnosed with some common but serious issues including General Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder along with various forms of OCD and PTSD sprinkled on top.

Throughout my life, the state of my mental health has impacted my personal and professional relationships, my sleep or eating habits, my physical health, and my productivity (...for better and for worse).

I've also been bullied or made fun of for being too sensitive, controlling or anal, worrying too much, or "freaking out", when these have all just symptoms of my own mental illnesses.

Fun stuff... ??

And also like many, since the pandemic started, unprecedented stressors in my personal and professional life exposed new symptoms to manage on-top of what already felt like a full plate.

The stress has been so overwhelming at times where the basic ability to find happiness or positivity in the day seemed daunting or straight up impossible.

The struggle is real.

Why does my story matter?

Well, some of the closest people in my life are well aware of what I deal with on a daily basis. Most are not.

My own mental health challenges have opened my perspective and have provoked the question: How many people that I interact with every day are also dealing with their own personal mental health issues?

I'm not alone.

This year, NAMI's theme is "You are Not Alone", focusing on a "shared vision of a nation where anyone affected by mental illness can get the appropriate support and quality of care to live healthy, fulfilling lives — a nation where no one feels alone in their struggle." (NAMI)

While the pandemic has led to increased awareness for mental health for employers, families, and extended networks, it hasn't necessarily accounted for the personal stories and daily challenges that so many people face, and most importantly, how we manage it.

As such, I'm hoping that my own background in confronting mental health can help others in my network understand the importance of well-being.

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Being a student of my own mental health, I have found it to be the top priority in my life for two reasons:

1. Taking care of myself: being in good (or improved) mental health has a direct connection to better physical, professional, financial, and relationship health.
2. Being empathetic: I serve many roles in my life - a manager and colleague, a mentor, a husband, son, brother, friend - that all require attentiveness to those around me. Having the ability to understand someone else's situation allows for deeper connections and healthier relationships.

So, if you're like me and mental health is a priority for you - both in May and the other 11 months of the year - here are a few ways that I've been able to manage my mental health, especially during chaotic times:

1. Breathe: we all forget to do this, but conscious breathing helps ground us and transition our energy from a highly tense one to a more open, free, and positive one.

• I subscribe to and recommend the Calm App, which has been critical for me in guided breathing and to be more aware of mindfulness, especially in heightened periods of distress.

2. Pause: life moves too fast and it still really feels like it should be March 2020. But just when things move too quickly, taking a step back to focus on the present is extraordinarily helpful.

• A quick mindful check-in can be an easy and beneficial way to find presence. Try exercises like the one linked below to pause, check in with yourself, and be in the moment.

3. Find a (good) friend: There are friends and there are good friends. Find someone you can confide in, that cares, maybe that can relate, and use them to take your mind off your stress or to act as a support system.

• I've learned the hard way over the last year that not all people in our lives have the time or care to be there for us. And while that's okay, it's also important to surround yourself with the right people when times are especially difficult.

4. Find your "thing": We're all different, but we all have something that makes us smile or that can bring us instant satisfaction or joy, calm, or just a quick distraction from our stress.

• I'm extremely lucky that my "thing" has been finding time to bring my dog to the local beach, which I've done in just about every weather scenario - snow, freezing cold, wind, rain, etc. - just because of the instant therapy it provides me

Finally, if the struggle is real for you, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Personally, it took me 28 years to seek out a counselor, and I wish I did it sooner. And let's face it...if you're injured or get sick, you go to the doctor, right? Why should it be different for our mental health? Getting expert and professional support can only strengthen how we manage and handle "the struggle".

We should be relieved to know that we are not alone. It's okay to be overwhelmed by and face mental health issues. The struggle is real. But, it's how we manage them to lead to an all around fulfilling, complete, and healthier lifestyle.