The Struggle is Real: 3 Micro Mindset Shifts to Build Extreme Resilience
Recently I read a post: "You are not lazy, unmotivated, or stuck. After years of living your life in survival mode, you are exhausted. There is a difference." – Nakeia Homer.
Gosh, I can relate. Getting up in the morning, knowing I need to get the business off the ground and I am just not sure how to do it. Just not sure whether what I am doing is working out. Just not sure whether all the struggle is really worth it.
Who of us has not been in a similar situation? Work piling up, challenges may seem overwhelming without a good solution in sight, add health issues and a relative to take care of and things can get very exhausting very quickly.
In fact, over-exhaustion and the feeling of not being able to handle the challenges ahead is the thing I was working on most with my clients this winter.
So, if this is happening to you right now, you are not alone.
What if there was a way to build resilience under stress? To remain positive, to remain energetic, to remain healthy?
In 1979, Suzanne Kobasa has done exactly that by introducing the psychological concept of Personal Hardiness.
Building Resilience with 3 Mindset Shifts
The key to building resilience is – in short – to develop a mindset of choice and personal growth in spite of all the struggle. It consists of 3 elements:
Let's dive right in.
Mindset Shift 1: Commitment is a Choice
An alpinist stuck in a snowstorm at the side of the mountain may wish to be somewhere else at that very moment. However, he or she chose to climb that route with the given weather prediction.
At work, situations are normally less life-threatening than that and yet can be very uncomfortable. We can easily feel overwhelmed if we feel that we are there although we don't want to be there. "I have to go to work…" is something that we might say with that mindset.
It helps to remind ourselves that we are there by choice. Every day, you make the choice to turn up at work again, it's your commitment to go. After all, you can find a new job if you really don't like what you are doing.
So: What do you really want?
If you really want to be there, re-commit to it 100%.
If you don't, start creating a plan B.
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Mindset Shift 2: Challenge means Growth
I firmly believe that we create happiness when we overcome challenges. The bigger the challenge, the happier we are once we surmount it. The most memorable climbing routes I have ever done were also the hardest that took the most effort to complete.
Shifting your mind from seeing the situation as a threat toward seeing them as a challenge will allow you to handle them better. This will allow you to shift from a passive to an active approach to handling the situation.
So: What are your options? What do you choose to learn from the situation?
After all, if we live inside our comfort zone all the time, we are definitely not living up to our full potential. Our strongest learnings happen outside of our comfort zone and when we fail. Nothing great was ever achieved without risk.
Maybe it helps to remind yourself, why you chose the challenge in the first place and what personal growth you have already created for yourself in the process.
As Alain de Botton said: “Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough.”
Mindset Shift 3: Focus on What You Can Control
A common response to challenging situations is to complain about things that are entirely out of our circle of control. The alpinist may lament about the weather and the inaccuracy of the forecast. However, focusing on what you cannot control drains energy and does not provide any solutions.
Instead, shift your mind to what you can control or influence and surprising solutions may appear, or you can find little ways to make the situation more bearable.
So: What can you control or influence?
A Final Thought
The struggle is real and can feel overwhelming. Yes. However, it is also where we can grow the most: professionally, personally, physically, and spiritually.
I wish for you that you can turn your struggle into an opportunity.
I'd like to leave you with one last question: When in your life have you struggled the most? What was the gift you took away from that situation?
Have a good week everyone,
Oliver