The Struggle To Ask For Help - World Mental Health Day And Leadership

A few months ago, someone asked me to write about Why we Struggle to Ask for Help.

It's taken me a while, but I'm finally writing about it.

Why has it taken so long?

Well, the Truth is that I Struggle Myself.

I do a lot of Research in my work.

The Brain.

Leadership.

Success.

Trauma.

Burnout.

I "Know" that we all Need Help.

I "Know" that our Mental Health is Important to Focus on.

Why?

Mental and Emotional Stressors often become Exponential Stressors.

Not just Adding to, But Rather Magnifying other Stressors.

They Quicken the Onset of Burnout.

Destroying Ourselves.

It has become a Plague in our Society.

I "Know" All of This.

I "Know" Resources to Help.

Yet, I Still Struggle with Asking for Help in my own Life.

I also "Know" I'm not the only One.

Which is Why I'm (Finally) getting to Writing About It.

Why do we Struggle?

Why Do We Stop Ourselves?

Often the Help Needed is "Simple".

Yet, we still Avoid it.

There isn't a "Singular" Reason if We're going to be Honest.

Many Factors Play a Role.

Some of it has to do with Societal Beliefs.

Be Strong!

Stop being a Wimp!

Quit Complaining!

Others have it Worse!

Even if others "Do" have it worse, it does Not make your Struggles Invalid.

But we "Feel" like they Are.

Why Complain when others have it worse?

This makes us Invalidate our own Struggles and "Push" them Down.

But Struggles, Unresolved, only Build Up Internally.

Pushing down isn't a "Solution".

It is an Exasperation of the Struggles.

But it is also the Norm for many people.

It has been for me.

We feel like We must "Be Strong" for Others.

Maybe You Do.

Sometimes, people Need a Support.

I get that.

I "Have" been that Support.

For Family.

For Friends.

For Colleagues.

For Clients.

For Audiences.

For People I'll Never Meet.

I "Know" that sometimes people might Need You for Support.

But You Need Support Too.

No Person is an Island.

You're Strong.

Not Invincible.

You're Human.

To be Human is to Need Others.

To Need Help.

There is Nothing Wrong with Being Human.

But More plays into the Challenge.

Fear.

This is a Huge One.

Fear of being Judged.

Fear of having others "See" You Differently.

That is one where I've Deeply Struggled.

Not just because I was Afraid of it.

But because people "Did" See Me Differently.

Then they Abandoned Me.

There have been times when I "Needed" someone Most, they were Gone.

Never Returned.

It is a Legitimate Fear, and it does happen.

It Feels Awful.

Then we also have a Challenge from a Lack of Trust.

Sometimes it is Justified "Why" We Struggle with Trust.

Some of us have been Abandoned.

Biological Parents who Were Never There.

Friends Who Disappeared.

Those we Loved, Gone.

I've had All of these occur.

Then there is the Challenge sometimes of those who "Are" There.

People we have Trusted.

But they Betrayed Us.

Used our Trust.

Abused our Trust.

People with Authority.

There is a "Reason" that people Do Not Trust Leaders.

Most People have Lost Trust for Good Reasons.

This Loss of Trust "Also" makes it Difficult to Ask for Help.

On top of all of this, there are the Myths we Hear.

The "Overnight Success".

The "Bootstrapper".

The "They Started in their Garage Empire Builder".

Most of these are only Stories.

Designed, Purposefully, to Create an Image.

In some cases, Literally Aimed at Making a Cult around an Individual.

But Not Reality.

In Reality, "All" of these Individuals had Incredible Aid.

But the Myths Still Influence Us.

If They "Did" it, Why Can't I?

The Reality is that they Never "Did" it as they Claim.

Leaving us Trapped in a Comparison with a Concept of an Impossible Goal.

Then, we often Hit Ourselves with our own Trauma.

I'm Not Worth It.

I'm Unworthy.

I Don't Deserve to Receive.

I'm Not Smart Enough.

I'm Not Strong Enough.

I'm Useless.

I'm a Waste of Space.

No One Needs Me.

I Might As Well Not Be Here.

The World would be Better Without Me.

It Pains Me to Write these things because they are "All" Things I have Thought About Myself.

These Thoughts, and Worse.

They Only "Add" to the Struggle of the Reality.

That We "Need" Help.

Today is World Mental Health Day.

I Understand how "Incredibly" Difficult it is to Ask for Help.

But You're Human, just like Me.

We "Need" Help in our Lives, and it is Alright to Ask.

It may not be "Easy", and I Understand that.

I Struggle with Asking for Help Too.

But Seek Help.

There are people who "Dedicate" themselves to Helping.

Every Day.

Seek Their Help.

I will Encourage you to do One More Thing Today.

As you Seek Help for Yourself, Encourage Others to Also Seek Help.

Lead Others.

We are Not Alone.

Many People "Feel" Unable to Ask for Help.

But None of Us are Alone.

When we Encourage Others, we both Accept that We Need Help and can Begin to Find It, While "Also" Showing Others they Are Not Alone.

This also Shows "You" that You're Not Alone.

Together, we can Accept what should be the Norm.

That We Are Human.

That It is Alright To Need, Ask For, and Accept Help.

That We Are Not Alone in the World.

That We Can Come Together.

That We Can Build Trust with Each Other.

That We Are Worthy, and Useful, and Stronger Than We Realize.

You are Worth It.

You are Worthy of Help.

You Deserve Healing and Health in Life.

Take Courage.

Help Exists.

Now is the Time to Ask.