The Strongest Offer - Truth and Courage

Several years ago, I took a writing class with author Patti Digh (whose books I highly recommend) where she taught the notion of making a “strong offer.” According to her, a strong offer was “an offer of yourself (your passion, your talent, your art, your love) without comparing yourself to others, without attachment to how that offer will be received, without a story attached to that offer, and with detachment to the outcome.” According to me, a strong offer was scary, especially in our new world of social media, likes and comments. Making a strong offer means putting yourself out there. Making a strong offer means having courage. Making a strong offer means people would see me.   

Strong offers can take many forms. When I was learning from Patti, it was writing  (and sometimes still is, this article is a strong offer) but more recently it is leading workshops and facilitating groups leading them to growth so they can do good in the world. Sometimes, standing in front of the group, there is an unexpected turn and I have a moment of “I don’t know what to say next” not because I didn’t have an agenda but because this wasn’t on it. Maybe we were having a rich discussion and it went down an unexpected path or maybe a group member was taking up too much space in the room. Recently, I found myself in such a situation, standing alone in front of the room and instead of being vulnerable (which we had already talked about) and instead of leaning into the wisdom of the room (which we had also already talked about), and saying “I’m not sure where to go next, let’s discuss some possibilities” the inner critic inside my head said “You must look like you know what you are doing at all times. You must have all of the answers.” And listening to that voice as one can, I made an attempt at completing our stated objectives and our time together ended in low-energy.  

Making strong offers is a journey and am I’m still on my journey. Brenè Brown states, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” 

I can’t redo what I’ve already done, but I can learn from it. My learning here: When I’m unsure about the next step and feeling uncomfortable: Pause. Take a breath. Be vulnerable. Ask the wisdom in the room. Be truthful and courageous. That’s the strongest offer.

#pattidigh #allisonjordan #RiverStoneRising #coaching #leadership #BrenèBrown #strongoffers #goalsgrowgood