Stronger - Develop The Resilience You Need To Succeed

“Psychological Body Armor”

Everyone wants success, satisfaction and happiness. Developing resilience is the best way to attain those goals. This state of mind can provide self-protective immunity and impunity in a crisis. Personal resilience means getting up off the mat after being knocked down, getting back in the fight and throwing more punches. Resilience means turning adversity into triumph, based on your buoyant optimism, positive attitude and confidence in your own success.

“Opportunities in life seem to benefit those who act upon them more than those who merely recognize them.”

The resiliency mind-set distinguishes US Navy SEALs, an exclusive, hardy military force. The Seal creed states, “In times of conflict or uncertainty, there is a special person ready to answer the call; a common person, with an uncommon desire to succeed. I am that person. I stand ready to bring the full spectrum of resources to bear in order to achieve my goals…in the worst of conditions…I will not fail.”

“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Develop this constructive, optimistic attitude to sustain you through life’s difficulties. Resiliency enables you to operate intelligently under high pressure, maximize your performance, bounce back from setbacks, and achieve overall happiness and fulfillment.

You can develop resiliency at any age. Resilience provides you with psychological body armor made up of five components:

1. “Active Optimism”

When you are actively optimistic, you become an agent who forces change. Your optimism is a powerful mandate – your own self-fulfilling prophecy. You move bravely ahead, even when others run from the fight.

“Psychological body armor is designed to protect us from potentially stifling and even disabling adversity.”

An optimistic attitude is a psychological assertion that results in beneficial physiological change. When you are resilient, your body becomes “supercharged with moderate increases in hormones such as adrenalin, noradrenalin, gamma-Aminobutyric acid, neuropeptide Y and cortisol.” This surge in hormones gives you better recollection, higher pain tolerance, quicker reactions, and greater awareness and strength.

“Interpersonal connectedness protects against overall mortality, coronary heart disease, immune suppression and increased stress.”

Optimistic thinking makes people happier and more successful. “Passive optimists” hope for the best; but active optimists take steps to shape the future. Success or failure may come down to life or death for Navy SEALs, so having a negative attitude can place them in danger of defeat. In their philosophy, success “happens because you make it happen.” Work to interpret the events in your life in a way that fosters effective results and good performance.

“Being decisive is hard. That’s why it’s rare. But by being decisive you distinguish yourself from others, usually in a positive way.”

Stanford University’s Albert Bandura contends that people can develop self-efficacy, a manifestation of active optimism, by taking these steps:

• “Personal attainment” – Success breeds success. Start with small successes to boost your confidence.
• “Observation” – Watch people like you who attain their goals. Assume that if they can reach the heights, so can you.
• “Encouragement and support” – The more support you have, the easier it is to develop self-confidence and optimism. People will support you if you support them.
• “Self-control” – Be calm, look beyond instant gratification, control your urges and stay healthy.

2. “Decisive Action”

To rebound from a temporary setback, be prepared to act with courage. Feeling strong and brave will enable you to make tough decisions under pressure and to act on them. Bouncing back requires making a choice from numerous options and moving ahead decisively. This level of decisiveness meets problems head-on and teaches you to leverage adversity to grow as a person and become resilient. But for that to happen, you must act.

Halo Effect

People respect decisive action. This respect builds a halo effect: People are positively biased toward those who act decisively. People admire such people and see their actions as praise-worthy and potentially career boosting. Act decisively and get over, under or around these obstacles:

• “Paralyzing fear of failure” – Failure can be a gift, according to Al Neuharth, who founded USA Today. In 1952, Neuharth and a friend put $50,000 together to create SoDak Sports, a South Dakota weekly newspaper. It lasted barely two years, but USA Today would not exist without Neuharth’s initial failure.
• “Fear of ridicule” – Some people make fun of those they consider different. But often those who are different achieve the most significant success, according to Outliers author Malcolm Gladwell. Don’t worry if people laugh because you are different. You may yet have the last laugh when your ideas triumph.
• “Procrastination” – Practically every action comes with a time limit. Wait too long and the big break you could have seized will turn into a big bust. Mark Twain summed up this common problem: “I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.” When a task seems too big, use the “’Swiss cheese’ technique” advocated by time-management expert Alan Lakein: Break it down into component parts. Work sequentially, completing one component after another. Apply this approach to unravel the most complicated tasks.
• “Failure to succinctly communicate relevant details concerning your actions” – Use this formula to get your ideas across: Discuss why it’s important to act; be clear and comprehensive. Describe how the problem started, explain its negative consequences, specify the actions needed to fix things and list what actions are necessary to prevent similar problems.
• “Trying to please everyone” – You can’t rely on large groups to find quick solutions to emergency problems. Don’t try to make everyone happy by securing each person’s input. Decide the best course by yourself.
• “Being overwhelmed by the scope of the challenge” – Often, the 80/20 rule will point to the solution for a problem. Since “80% of your problem comes from 20% of the potential sources” of trouble, focus your efforts accordingly.
• “Losing sight of the long-term goal” – A best-case versus worst-case analysis can help you focus. When you’re considering a decision, ask, “What’s the best thing that’s likely to happen if I act?” “What’s the worst thing that’s likely to happen if I act?” “What’s the best thing that’s likely to happen if I do not act?” “What’s the worst thing likely to happen if I do not act?”

3. “Moral Compass”

Your moral compass – “honor, integrity, fidelity and ethical behavior” – must guide all your decisions, whether things are going well or the chips are down.

“The more successes you have, the better you’ll understand what it takes to be successful – which will generate more successes – and the more you will tend to expect success.”

For instance, golf has many rules. Rule 13.4 requires a two-stroke penalty if the golf club hits anything loose “during [a] backswing.” During a championship playoff, pro golfer Brian Davis penalized himself two strokes because of a Rule 13.4 infraction even though the official who was monitoring the play on that hole didn’t notice anything suspicious.

“The community culture of resilience is an environment where adaptability and resilience…are the core fabric of the culture itself.”

As a result of the two-stroke penalty, Davis gave up his win in the tournament. He forfeited a chance to take home a payoff prize valued at more than $1 million. His honor meant more to him. Davis gave himself a worthy reward – he maintained his self-respect for doing the right thing. Follow his lead.

4. “Relentless Tenacity”

On September 1, 1939, Hitler’s German army attacked Poland, starting World War II. By October 29, 1941, Germany occupied continental Europe. Great Britain maintained its liberty. Prime Minister Winston Churchill had previously committed the United Kingdom to steadfast resistance to the Nazis. He dedicated himself to the “tenacious defiance” of Hitler’s hordes.

“Members of successful groups at any level in any endeavor tend to be successful, in part, because of the expectation of success that group membership bestows and reinforces.”

Churchill said, “We shall fight in France; we shall fight on the seas and oceans; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air; we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on the beaches; we shall fight on the landing grounds; we shall fight in the fields and in the streets; we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.” President John F. Kennedy said that Churchill “mobilized the English language and sent it into battle.”

“The adage ‘A rising tide lifts all boats’ suggests that there may be factors that foster the resilience not only of individuals but individuals in the aggregate.”

Take inspiration from Churchill and those who followed his brave example. No matter what obstacle you must overcome, trust your “self-sustaining” tenacity. You have full control of the effort you put forth. Resolve demands your wholehearted effort – nothing less. Heed the model set by courageous people who demonstrated persistence in the face of great challenges. Let them motivate you to stay on course. Call on others to support you when you have to demonstrate your reliance and perseverance.

5. “Interpersonal Support”

Aristotle said that the group always outperforms its individual members. This enhanced capability derives from members’ readiness to assist one another and to come together to support their collective well-being. This is known as “interpersonal cohesion” – that is, sharing and support.

“If all you do is sit on the right track and wait for something to happen, it will. You will get run over.”

Charles Darwin also commented on the great value of coherent groups. He said the tribes that would naturally prevail would be those whose members defend each other and make sacrifices for the good of their community.

In other words, you’ll get further when people have your back. The more supporting and sustaining relationships you have, the easier things will go. Build relationships using the formula “homophily x proximity.” Find people who share your values and attitudes (homophily) and spend extended time in places where they congregate (proximity). Recruit mentors. Look for role models.

“Active optimism is more than a hope or a belief. It’s a mandate to bounce back, to be successful, to avoid being a victim.”

Support the people you hope will support you. Demonstrate your respect for others. Listen to what people say. Utilize the “WAIT Principle” by asking, “Why am I talking?” Don’t assume malice on the part of people around you, even if they oppose you, since stupidity mmay account for their actions. Don’t take their actions personally.

“Shake off this erroneous notion that life is there and you’re just gonna live in it, versus embrace it, change it, improve it, make your mark upon it. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.” (Steve Jobs)

The five factors unfold one after the other. Active optimism leads to decisive action, which depends on your moral compass; these three steps require relentless tenacity and become easier when you have interpersonal support.

Applying the Program

To develop resiliency, remember:

• “Simplicity matters” – Concentrate on the five factors of resilience. Other behaviors also build resilience, including self-control and “calm, innovative, nondogmatic thinking.”
• “Resilience can be learned at any age” – Hardship, anxiety and painful events can result in “neurological and neuroendocrine events” similar to the neural plasticity of youth, which enhances learning.
• “Self-efficacy is a useful framework” – Remember that the “first success is the hardest.”
• “It’s important to Monitor your resilience” – Self-knowledge is a pivotal requirement for success.
• “Study the past” – Find your personal heroes of resilience. Study their words and actions.

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About the Authors

George Everly Jr., PhD, is a founding father of modern stress management. Douglas A. Strouse, PhD, is the managing partner of Wexley Consulting HRD, LLC. Dennis K. McCormack, PhD, was one of the first Navy SEALs.