Strong and Wrong

I sing in a choir (the wonderful Leeds Vocal Movement), and last week I was reminded of what I think is one of the best phrases in singing - and in life.

We opened up our doors to some new members, and as we started a piece which some of us know quite well, our musical director reminded the new members that they should go for it and be 'strong and wrong'. Meaning, when you are singing in a group and against other voices it's important to have confidence and sing out even if you get the notes wrong - that's the only way the musical director will know what needs work and practice.

Now, strong and wrong has it's place, and that place is the rehearsal room. If you're not sure of the notes by the time we get to the concert, feel free to quieten down at that point. But in the right context, strong and wrong is a very important tool in both individual and collective improvement.

But Sally, what does your singing have to do with your career? Well, dear reader, I am not ashamed to tell you that I was a precocious and overachieving child. Just ask my husband, who was subjected to about 10 hours of home videos the last time we visited my parents. I was loud, in charge, and I absolutely believed myself to be correct, about everything. For a long time, I took that mentality forward in my life and I found it quite difficult whenever I discovered that I was in fact not perpetually in the right.

As I'm sure many of us have done, I would get quite defensive if I was called out on a mistake. I tried to rationalise my actions or approach, try to find some small way to still be right even when I was clearly wrong. It was tiring, to be honest.

I was quite deep into my professional career (and about 15 years into group singing, so clearly not a quick learner) before I learned the beauty of the strong and wrong mentality. The mentality that seemingly contradictory states can exist harmoniously if you let them - you can be confidently wrong, authoritatively na?ve, boldly unclear.

Learning this has been pivotal to my progression, and to my overall worldview. It has made me a better manager, a better leader, and a better friend and colleague. It's a well-known adage that mistakes are just the first step in learning, but strong and wrong takes it to a whole new level for me. It is permission to be honest, to confidently share your flaws and errors, and to grow from them.

I've been in my role now for almost 6 months. I have made a lot of mistakes, and I will continue to make mistakes. I am wrong a lot. But when I know I'm wrong I've learned to admit it, own it, and rather than worrying about it I find out from those I'm working with how I can fix it, or how I can be less wrong next time. If I don't know I'm wrong then I trust those around me to tell me, and I try to make sure that I'm humble enough to hear their feedback and don't regress to my obnoxious 6-year-old self. When it comes to the presentation, or the report, or the conference then I make sure that I am reassured in what I have to say and how I'm saying it. There's still context for strong and wrong, in music and in business.

There is a governance application as well. As a trustee, I need to have strength and conviction, even when the decisions we have to make may not be clear or might be challenging. I know that with every decision I contribute to, my board and I might discover that we're wrong. So we take our decisions using the information available, and in line with our structures, and if there is a possibility that we might take the wrong path then we acknowledge that. We are strong in admitting that we might be wrong, but confident in making the decision anyway.

So if I can encourage you to do anything in life, it is to embrace being strong and wrong. After all, there are only so many notes to sing, and with practice and support we always get the right one eventually.