Be strong and good, be Yourself

“A truly strong person does not need the approval

of others any more than a lion needs the approval

of sheep.” ~ Vernon Howard

 

Approval seeking behavior… If you ask me this is

where many of our challenges start. When you are

too concerned with what other people think of you,

trying to please everyone, you lose touch with

yourself. You lose your balance and you begin to

lose control over yourself and over your own life.

 

“Care about people’s approval and you will be

their prisoner.”  ~ Lao Tzu

 

If we want to live life the way WE want to and not

the way others would want us to, we need to let go

of our constant need to control what other people

think of us, we need to learn to let go of our

approval seeking behavior. I know that this is not

always an easy task to do and that is exactly why

I decided to write about the 9 reasons why you

should no longer care about what others think or

say of you, to point out some of the things we all

know but we just need to be reminded of from time

to time.

 

1. You simply can’t be liked by everybody.

 

No matter how much you try and no matter how

“nice” you are with people, you simply can’t have

everybody like you for there will always be people

who will continue talking about you and your

“inappropriate” way of thinking, behaving,

breathing, dressing, living, etc.

 

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood

up for something, sometime in your life.” ~

Winston Churchill

 

1. You can live a happy life without “their”

approval.

 

You are not less or more of a person based on how

many people like and approve of you. While growing

up we were told that in order to be liked by

others we must be nice to people and we are, but

somehow we keep encountering people that don’t

seem to like us. So why is that? Is there

something wrong with us? Not really. Just because

some people don’t like us, does not imply that

there is something wrong with us, for that is not

true. You are already, whole and complete and you

don’t need other people’s approval in order to

feel this way. How freeing is that?

 

“Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that

you are worthy.” ~ Wayne Dyer

 

1. You can’t control what other people think of

you.

 

I came to the realization that we all live in

different worlds, a different reality for each and

every one of us, reality that was built based on

our thoughts, beliefs, experiences, based on what

we were taught while growing up. What I might see

as being right, other people might see as being

wrong, and what I might see as being beautiful

other people might see as being ugly.

 

We all have a different perception on how life

should be lived and how people should act, and

instead of wasting your time thinking about what

other people think and say of you, why not spend

that time improving and growing yourself, knowing

that: “Great spirits have always found violent

opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot

understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly

submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and

courageously uses his intelligence.” ~ Einstein

 

1. Approval seeking behavior is time consuming.

 

It takes a lot of your time, time that can be used

to do the things that you really enjoy doing.

 

1. Approval seeking behavior drains your energy.

 

Every time you spend time thinking and talking

about what X or Y said about you, not only are you

wasting your time, but you are also wasting your

precious energy.

 

1. Freedom to be who you want to be.

 

When you no longer care about what other people

think of you, you start being yourself and you

start behaving the way you always wanted but you

couldn’t because of all the restrictions and

limits you imposed on yourself. You have no idea

how much freedom comes with letting go of your

need to control what other people think of you.

Just give it a chance and you will understand what

I am talking about.

 

1. Inner peace.

 

We all seek peace and we all want to be happy and

the moment you stop caring about what “they”

think, you will find just that.

 

“When you find peace within yourself, you become

the kind of person who can live at peace with

others.” ~ Peace Pilgrim

 

1. You are the one in control of your life, not

them.

 

Mind your own business and live your life, the way

you want to, the way it best suits you, and let go

of your approval seeking behavior.

 

“The individual has always had to struggle to keep

from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your

own man is a hard business. If you try it, you’ll

be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no

price is too high to pay for the privilege of

owning yourself.” ~ Arthur Gordon

 

1. The only person you need to impress is

yourself.

 

If you like and approve of yourself, believe me,

it will no longer matter if people say nice things

about you or not, for you will understand:

“Everything that irritates us about others can

lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl

Jung

 

You get to a point where you know, them talking

about you has little or nothing to do with how you

think, act, live, etc., but a lot to do with how

they think, and who they perceive reality. A lot

of times, what we can’t accept in others are the

things we haven’t accepted in ourselves, whether

we are consciously aware of this truth or not.

 

“When you judge another, you do not define them,

you define yourself as someone who needs to

judge.” ~  Wayne Dyer

 

What constitutes approval seeking behavior and why

do you think so many people are after it? Why are

there so many people willing to betray their own

self just so that they can please others?

  

( Jimmy Cliff )