No Strings Attached

Dania -- Creative Strategist · Connector · Culture Advocate

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As humans we yearn to be validated, to be reciprocated in emotions and actions. As much as we can try to convince ourself that we are emotionally and physically self sufficient and masters in the art of solidarity--we're not. Be it in the workplace, at home, or in public spaces-- acknowledgment and authentic appreciation are expected. And when we fail to see those things be done to us, we pause, retreat, distrust, and regress in our work, emotions, and relationships.

Based off of my own experiences, we sometimes put people on the same pedestal as us, expecting them to return our calls immediately--as we do for them. Be there for us up when we're down--as we do for them. Do us a small favor--as we do for them. Support us in our accomplishments--as we do for them. When we're not treated in the same way we treat those who we go above and beyond for, its disappointing. It's hurtful and disheartening to not be held in the same manner that you hold others. And even more so challenging to do something again in the future without an expectation and affirmation. So what do you do?

1.) You don't change who you are. You don't change your kindness. Your effort. Your care. The world needs more of that. To strip the world of one less person doing good, you create a ripple effect of selfishness and arrogance.

2.) Unconditionally Love. This was a concept taught to me by an expert in the field-- my mother. In fact every mother (and father) is an expert in this form of love. Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. Personally speaking, this form of love is such a difficult one to grasp because as mentioned above, we humans crave appreciation for our action. But mothers especially, and families, have uncovered the secret of unconditionally loving, and that is through...

3.) Personal gratification. How is it that a mother continues to give relentless care to a tiny human that can't show appreciation back. Why is it that we are willing to do something for our siblings, our parents without asking them for something in return. It's an unspoken form of love, rooted deeply with personal gratification and sourced from a higher purpose, God. When you do an act of service for someone you care about, you don't think twice about getting something in return because you're already receiving. You're receiving that 'feeling' of genuine self gratitude. It's the euphoric emotion where your dopamine levels peak.

We live in a very conditional world. Where we are programmed to think that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. But love doesn't always work that way because as humans we are meant to error. To save ourselves from some disappointment and hurt we need to unconditionally love (with boundaries). Set the intention before every task to do things for the sake of a higher purpose/God and through that the sake of feeling good about your action and not for the sake of wanting something out of it. Train your brain to do this before every action and soon you'll find yourself lost in the world of genuinely serving others because now your actions don't have any strings attached.

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